pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Thanks everyone ..



How would I approach it with the family ?

powerwrx

iTrader: (11)

sorry to hear this news..no one deserves to loose their daddy at a young age, especially at 9yrs old

Scotsman

iTrader: (3)

Horrific

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

His youngest is 9 month mate

Fat Boy

I have a bit of experience here, unfortunately, in that my mum died in front of me when i was nine - from a cerebral haemorrhage. It's not good and it never leaves you. I think I coped quite well but who really knows.

To the guy who was angry that his mate (who died from the same thing) hadn't told you - it's not something you know about unless your head has been scanned for some reason and a weakness spotted. My 47 year old mum went from completely normal to dead in 5 minutes. Don't blame him or yourself. In my mum's case she probably had an aneurysm (weakness in a blood vessel) and she smoked a fair bit, which is a definite factor. I will never smoke.

To Pimmo - so sorry for him, his poor family and his friends,. Be there for the family - not just for the next week or so while everyone is in shock yet busy with funeral arrangements etc (help with those if you can), but it's afterwards when all that recedes and after everyone has gone home that the loss really hits...

EddScott

Thats terrible news. Its quite scary to think that you can just go like that - without warning so to speak.

Feel for all.

SirFozzalot

Esepcially around Christmas and New year, that's going to be a really tough time.

daddyscoob

Terrible terrible thing for all involved.

powerwrx

iTrader: (11)

thats awfull, i really feel for his family, and you mate...loosing a best friend is like loosing a family member in it's self... i hope you all can stay strong through these hard times

billyray911

iTrader: (4)

There's no one way.I've found,when broaching these kinds of things,is give them the info and let them find there own way.By this,I mean the family and not the child!
I have a book that I normally give out, that deals with the death of an adult.it's in a child friendly format and explains some of the bigger questions that children have and often get glossed over or lost in translation.
I'm pretty sure I've got one at work,so if you want one, if I have one, you're welcome to it.

mart360

My Best mate was killed 7 years ago, he was only 38.

He was working under a van when it fell on him. His wife and kids were in the

house at the time, and had no idea, until they heard the commotion of the

fire engine and ambulance arriving

Still miss him


Mart

dnc

So sorry to hear this Pimmo, never been in this situation so I can only imagine how you must feel. Condolences to his family and hope the youngsters are able to get through it.

Very wise words from CoB earlier in the post...............save thos memories for his kids.

dnc

silva rex

Cant imagine how you must feel. But remember this...Everyone has boxes in life, A best friend is one of them, You ticked that box my friend! Thats a massive achievement and one that can never be taken no matter...You were lucky enough to have ever known him at all, Chin up fella.

Razorwrx1

iTrader: (21)

So sorry to hear that. Deepest sympathies go out to you and his Family!

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Some really lovely comments and really glad I posted about it now .. Thank you ..

His misses keeps repeating this is a nightmare, I want to wake up, over and over ..



I'd be grateful for anything you can help with me, I'll pass it over to the family and hope it does some good ..

Leslie

Apart from your obvious grief Pimmo, the best thing is to let her know that you will help them out in any way you can and that she only has to ask. It is down to his wife then if she runs into a problem.

Les

StickyMicky

I agree with that, my cousin hung himself 4 weeks ago

Could not handle the fact that his wife went behind his back, it messed him up really bad, it finally got too much for him when he managed to get into her facebook profile, left a message saying "hahahaha hacked!" as a status update, and then found something hurtfull in the private messages.

Left 2 kids

Nightmare situation for all involved.

By all means top yourself if you have no responsibility, but just leaving the kids is harsh.

David Lock

Bad new pal so I can only associate with other comments in this thread.

But I assume that you know his family well so I would just say to try and keep cheerful when you talk to, or visit, them. A bit of laughter without being flippant if you know what I mean. dl

billyray911

iTrader: (4)

I'd be grateful for anything you can help with me, I'll pass it over to the family and hope it does some good .. [/QUOTE]
Am going into work in a bit,so can you pm me your address and I will see what I can sort out for you

my06 ppp silver

iTrader: (2)

very sad news pimmo. hoping you deal with it as good as you possibly could. this is one of those threads where you really dont know what to say.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Spoke to his misses again, they cant find a cause of death, but have released the body.. also because he didn't tell the council he moved in, they wont give her a grant for the funeral .. she has three kids a house and a part time job ..

How the **** does she pay for a funeral ?

billyray911

iTrader: (4)

I've looked through some stuff at work and the book I was talking about is geared towards death as a result of a road traffic accident.
It is a good book and I can still send it out to you if you'd like.however,the content may cause a child lots of confusion as it talks about dying as part of a collision of some description.
I have the book at home,so just let me know via pm

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

His g/f called me today and asked me to speak at the funeral .. I was shaking ..

As I'm sure you can imagine I'm scared ****less I'll mess up .. I suggested I write something and the priest reads it .. and on the day if I'm not in bits I can offer to do it .. She was ok with that .. said she can keep it for his daughters ..

So .. Scoobynet ..

WTF do i write ?

jasey

From the heart and don't worry if it sounds "soppy".

Good Luck.

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

Write from the heart mate. The reason you were mates, why you liked each other, what he mean't to you, perhaps a story which typified him to you, good times had. But most of all from the heart....

r32

Seems strange to release the body with no cause for his death determined. Unexpected deaths always result in a postmortem. The Corner would be involved too.

Until the Coroner has ruled there can be no funeral. http://www.c-r-y.org.uk/natural_causes.htm

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

The coroner has completed the postmortem and found no cause of death. He has taken the samples he needs and released the body.

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

The thing to remember about funerals is that it's a time to say goodbye and the wake is the time to celebrate.

You could (as we did at my Great Uncle's funeral) use the whole DAY to celebrate a life rather than mourn a death.

As said above. Just speak from the heart - the words WILL come; all you need do is think of your friend they will be there. As will he.

dpb

Very curious .

Im sorry for your loss . I think you should talk about your collective experiences good and bad , with some reference to his character . Try and draft something maybe

Never had to do it yet but you can only do your best