My best mate died last night ..
29 September 2010, 08:55 PM
#63
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sorry to hear the bad news, seems you really need to keep your chin up for the family mate. good luck with the speach, cant offer any advice on what to say about him but as mentioned, remember his best times & celebrate them.
If it was me though, the last few words would not be a 'good bye' but something like 'thanks for the great time's & memories we got to spend with you it will never be forgotten but remembered with pride & hapiness' sort of thing.
If it was me though, the last few words would not be a 'good bye' but something like 'thanks for the great time's & memories we got to spend with you it will never be forgotten but remembered with pride & hapiness' sort of thing.
29 September 2010, 10:30 PM
#65
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Pimmo,
Regarding the speech, try to do it if you can as I reckon you would later regret not doing it. I'm sure his friends and family would really appreciate it, if you can manage it.
Regarding funeral costs, hope it doesn't sound vulgar or out of place , but I'm sure you would be able to get a decent SNet whip round - I would certainly contribute.
dnc
Regarding the speech, try to do it if you can as I reckon you would later regret not doing it. I'm sure his friends and family would really appreciate it, if you can manage it.
Regarding funeral costs, hope it doesn't sound vulgar or out of place , but I'm sure you would be able to get a decent SNet whip round - I would certainly contribute.
dnc
29 September 2010, 11:55 PM
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Words
My advice would be to write a draft and then go over and over it until you are happy with it.
You can read this at the service or, if things get to you, ask someone on your behalf.
This is a page that the family can keep and look back on in the future. dl
You can read this at the service or, if things get to you, ask someone on your behalf.
This is a page that the family can keep and look back on in the future. dl
30 September 2010, 12:28 AM
#67
Firstly Pimmo, I am really sorry for your loss.
As for the speech I think as others have said, just speak from the heart. Perhaps begin by just jotting down anything that comes into your head about him (character, family man, funny stories etc.) and work it into a 'speech' from there. Almost like a wedding speech only unfortunately it's not that happy day. I would think it would be better to keep it so people can relate to it rather than just saying what a great guy he was and how he loved his family and will be missed. Of course that will be the case, but tie it into stories (fairly brief) and let his character come out through your words. I think it's best to celebrate a life rather than mourn a death if possible.
These are just my thoughts but feel free to ignore as I have thankfully never gone through this, so I'm not so well equipped to advise. I don't think there is a right or wrong way with things like this, just be honest and true to your friend and I agree with dnc, try to do this if you can as you may regret not later.
Take care and my thoughts go out to all of you.
As for the speech I think as others have said, just speak from the heart. Perhaps begin by just jotting down anything that comes into your head about him (character, family man, funny stories etc.) and work it into a 'speech' from there. Almost like a wedding speech only unfortunately it's not that happy day. I would think it would be better to keep it so people can relate to it rather than just saying what a great guy he was and how he loved his family and will be missed. Of course that will be the case, but tie it into stories (fairly brief) and let his character come out through your words. I think it's best to celebrate a life rather than mourn a death if possible.
These are just my thoughts but feel free to ignore as I have thankfully never gone through this, so I'm not so well equipped to advise. I don't think there is a right or wrong way with things like this, just be honest and true to your friend and I agree with dnc, try to do this if you can as you may regret not later.
Take care and my thoughts go out to all of you.
30 September 2010, 12:35 AM
#69
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Jesus, am so sorry 
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
30 September 2010, 07:17 AM
#71
Spoke to his g/f last night and one of the women he used to work with is happy to do a talk herself if I'm not up to it ..
I've said if she wants to do it go ahead, I want to but I'm a mess just thinking about it ..
I started a FB group for him 24 hours ago and 78 people have joined so far .. his g/f is made up with it and all the nice comments ..
Just hope I win the Euro millions and I can set her and the kids up for life .. that would be truly amazing .. even if I just win enough to cover the funeral for her ...
I've said if she wants to do it go ahead, I want to but I'm a mess just thinking about it ..
I started a FB group for him 24 hours ago and 78 people have joined so far .. his g/f is made up with it and all the nice comments ..
Just hope I win the Euro millions and I can set her and the kids up for life .. that would be truly amazing .. even if I just win enough to cover the funeral for her ...
07 October 2010, 07:57 AM
#74
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She may never get to know him in person Pimmo, but when she gets older with your help she'll get to know all about her dad, his sense of humour, what he liked (what he didn't) and what he thought of her, all from his best mate.
DCI
DCI
07 October 2010, 08:08 AM
#76
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That's so important, all there are is memories now.... it'll never be the same, but it makes you realise memories and photos are so important, snapshots of life that are so precious.
My Grandfather was killed on the third day of D-Day, machine gunner advancing into a small French town shot by a sniper. My mother only has two old black and white photographs of him, one in his uniform smiling and one of his grave. She wouldn't swap those for the world and they bring her great comfort when she's feeling sad.
You're a good best mate Pimmo.
My Grandfather was killed on the third day of D-Day, machine gunner advancing into a small French town shot by a sniper. My mother only has two old black and white photographs of him, one in his uniform smiling and one of his grave. She wouldn't swap those for the world and they bring her great comfort when she's feeling sad.
You're a good best mate Pimmo.
07 October 2010, 03:34 PM
#78
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I lost a very close friend to cancer a couple of years ago. He used to come out fishing for sea bass on my boat.
I went out fishing once after he died but came back in early and have now put my boat up for sale. It is hard when you lose a good mate like that.
Les
I went out fishing once after he died but came back in early and have now put my boat up for sale. It is hard when you lose a good mate like that.
Les
08 October 2010, 08:28 PM
#86
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08 October 2010, 08:39 PM
#87
Very sad to hear this life can be very unfair,you as a mate I trust will tell this little person about her Dad as she grows up and it will be like she will know him.
08 October 2010, 08:56 PM
#88
The hardest time for his family comes after the funeral,there is a big space left and people avoid contact not because they dont care it is because they dont know what to say or do,this is a time for you to help and share the tears.In time the hurt will pass the memories and smiles will return.
Regards Greg
Regards Greg
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