Said goodbye to my Dad yesterday.
11 February 2011, 08:39 PM
#32
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Well, he has a massive collection on vinyl, he would get up at stupid o clock for car boot sales and hint for bargains.
He was a power seller on eBay, his nickname was Ferrit3D aptly named for ferriting about looking for rare music.
He was a power seller on eBay, his nickname was Ferrit3D aptly named for ferriting about looking for rare music.
11 February 2011, 08:44 PM
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Mine went about 2 years back from a heart attack (about 53?), i am not a soft ****e by any means but i do think about him a lot, he had his heart attack, recovered and was taking it easy for a week, then woke up at around 2am, saying to my mother "woagh something feels a bit weird"
Then he keeled over on the bed and was gone.
Every single car that pulled onto the car wash site the same as his, had me completely forgetting he was gone and thinking to myself "heres the old fella"
Its a ****, but you cant do anything about it, time is a healer and everything.
Then he keeled over on the bed and was gone.
Every single car that pulled onto the car wash site the same as his, had me completely forgetting he was gone and thinking to myself "heres the old fella"
Its a ****, but you cant do anything about it, time is a healer and everything.
11 February 2011, 08:46 PM
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Really sorry to hear about your day Hysteria.
The healing process takes time, good days and bad. Its been 19 years this year since my dad died, I was 19 at the time he was 44. Its a hard year for me as I feel that this is the year I have known him longer dead than alive ... and that hurts !
Ive got a wife and son and that takes a lot of the pain away, but you learn to live and move on.
I hope your family will bring you great comfort like mine have now.
The healing process takes time, good days and bad. Its been 19 years this year since my dad died, I was 19 at the time he was 44. Its a hard year for me as I feel that this is the year I have known him longer dead than alive ... and that hurts !
Ive got a wife and son and that takes a lot of the pain away, but you learn to live and move on.
I hope your family will bring you great comfort like mine have now.
Last edited by Wish; 11 February 2011 at 08:47 PM.
11 February 2011, 08:49 PM
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My sincere condolences to you & you family, as DCI said he's not gone & will always be with you & your family.
i Lost my father last june & it was a hard time for me coming from a small family, the most random things remind me of past times, from the regular b0llockings to finding my first car. Every time it brings the biggest smile & the warmest feeling inside, thankfully memories never fade.
Dave
i Lost my father last june & it was a hard time for me coming from a small family, the most random things remind me of past times, from the regular b0llockings to finding my first car. Every time it brings the biggest smile & the warmest feeling inside, thankfully memories never fade.
Dave
11 February 2011, 09:05 PM
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i am 54 lost my mom in 94 cried like a baby but dont mind who knows where not irish but after crem took all moms friends for a meal and a drink as thats what mom would have wanted did help what i am trying to say is that you get through it but it does take time how i look at it is if they are remembered they never die take it easy and let the feelings come out And talk to your friends because they will not know how to break the ice with you god bless pal
11 February 2011, 09:07 PM
#38
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As far as the "he's not here" feeling goes, that's not entirely true... he's always going to be here, as you are part of him and to that end he sort of lives through you. You're a strong individual and will eventually pass through this period of mourning where all you memories will bring you nothing but warmth and happiness.
Go with the flow, don't bottle anything up.... be happy, be sad... but always be you.
Go with the flow, don't bottle anything up.... be happy, be sad... but always be you.
11 February 2011, 09:27 PM
#40
Thing is there is no right and no wrong way to deal with these circumstances, no-one can criticise you for how you deal with it. Smile when you need to, fall apart when you need to, it will take one year until the special days have passed, birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries etc. only after this can you know in yourself how it will feel in the years which will follow.
Your dad isn't gone from you - he is with you no matter where you go. Sorry for your loss.
Your dad isn't gone from you - he is with you no matter where you go. Sorry for your loss.
11 February 2011, 09:32 PM
#41
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i know it is no consolation - but speaking as a father of 5 i would take seeing them all grow up and have children, and die a happy man all day long
no one deserves to bury their children, so am sure he died a contented Grandad
good luck
no one deserves to bury their children, so am sure he died a contented Grandad
good luck
Last edited by hodgy0_2; 11 February 2011 at 09:34 PM.
11 February 2011, 10:00 PM
#43
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Thank you all for the kind words. I am one of four, myself and my eldest brother gave him seven grandchildren, and he was a wonderful grandad.
I only have one bad feeling about it all. I wish I had got married a long time ago, as now he can't be there
Like has been said, everyday there is something that makes me think about him, thankfully, most of it makes me smile.
The only thing that upsets me at the moment is seeing my children struggle so much to understand what has happened.
My brother is over from Oz at the moment, tomorrow we are decorating some Chinese lanters to set off in the evening. The children are going to draw some pictures and messages on them, and then send them up to heaven for Grandad to see.
I only have one bad feeling about it all. I wish I had got married a long time ago, as now he can't be there
Like has been said, everyday there is something that makes me think about him, thankfully, most of it makes me smile.
The only thing that upsets me at the moment is seeing my children struggle so much to understand what has happened.
My brother is over from Oz at the moment, tomorrow we are decorating some Chinese lanters to set off in the evening. The children are going to draw some pictures and messages on them, and then send them up to heaven for Grandad to see.
Last edited by Hysteria1983; 11 February 2011 at 10:08 PM.
11 February 2011, 10:04 PM
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11 February 2011, 10:08 PM
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11 February 2011, 10:17 PM
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My wife lost her dad the week before Christmas,he was only 62 and died after a very short illness.His funeral was in the new year,seems like yesterday.She is still struggling with it and might be going to see a bereavement counselor.I suppose it effects us all in different ways.
11 February 2011, 10:43 PM
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I am so sorry, K. Hugs to you and yours. Just remember, he lives on in you. xxx
Btw, my FIL has just passed away about 2 hours ago. Just waiting for the other half to come home. Not told the kids yet
Btw, my FIL has just passed away about 2 hours ago. Just waiting for the other half to come home. Not told the kids yet
11 February 2011, 10:49 PM
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11 February 2011, 10:55 PM
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My wife lost her dad the week before Christmas,he was only 62 and died after a very short illness.His funeral was in the new year,seems like yesterday.She is still struggling with it and might be going to see a bereavement counselor.I suppose it effects us all in different ways.
Nice to see threads that are different on SN. This one has been both sad and uplifting, a little.
Wish all well.
11 February 2011, 11:58 PM
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12 February 2011, 12:00 AM
#52
I lost my dad this week (please no commiserations here out of respect to the OP). He'd been I'll for a while so you would expect we'd all be prepared. Except you can't prepare for the loss. I'm the MC at the funeral next week and it's sub-titled "a celebration of life". He left three children and five grandchildren behind and as far as I am concerned he continues to live on in all eight of us.
12 February 2011, 12:04 AM
#53
Really sorry to hear about your loss, your dad would want to you to have a great life and to enjoy yourself, he`ll be rooting for you from above. Just be strong and make your dad and the rest of your family proud of you.
12 February 2011, 09:12 AM
#54
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My thoughts are with you. Its a very hard time and not one that you can overcome with any ease. The only weapon in your armour right now is time, nothing else can combat the emptiness you feel, not even alcohol, that makes it worse.
I lost my own 45yr old father the same way, when I was 16. Time is the only healer, and until this wound is healed you just need to be yourself and cry when you want to cry, laugh when you want to laugh. Maybe take some solace in the fact that when its all over, you will be a stronger person than you are today.
Nicely put. The nicest thing I have read on here for some time. 
I lost my own 45yr old father the same way, when I was 16. Time is the only healer, and until this wound is healed you just need to be yourself and cry when you want to cry, laugh when you want to laugh. Maybe take some solace in the fact that when its all over, you will be a stronger person than you are today.
As far as the "he's not here" feeling goes, that's not entirely true... he's always going to be here, as you are part of him and to that end he sort of lives through you. You're a strong individual and will eventually pass through this period of mourning where all you memories will bring you nothing but warmth and happiness.
Go with the flow, don't bottle anything up.... be happy, be sad... but always be you.
Go with the flow, don't bottle anything up.... be happy, be sad... but always be you.
Last edited by Evolution Stu; 12 February 2011 at 09:13 AM.
12 February 2011, 08:50 PM
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Lost my father 4 years ago In April and I still miss him every day. My best friend lost his mum yesterday and that smashed me sideways as I've known her 20 years. Life however does go on, and with time and care you will get by. Like the knife that cuts, the wound heals but that scar remains. God bless.
Last edited by RJM25R; 12 February 2011 at 08:54 PM.
13 February 2011, 11:15 AM
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I'm so sorry for you. I lost my Mum then a couple of years later my Father passed away.
I'm sorry but I can't subscribe to the "They'll always be with you" statements. You will find it slightly easier as time goes on, but I miss my parents so much it hurts, and my Dad died in 1987. They leave (for me) such a huge hole in my life.
I hope you are OK and I feel for you and your family.
I'm sorry but I can't subscribe to the "They'll always be with you" statements. You will find it slightly easier as time goes on, but I miss my parents so much it hurts, and my Dad died in 1987. They leave (for me) such a huge hole in my life.
I hope you are OK and I feel for you and your family.
13 February 2011, 05:15 PM
#59
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Thanks for all your support.
I just got back from spending the weekend at my mums. My brother flies back to Oz on Tue, so it was a weekend of family time. It's been 18 months since we last saw him, and will be Christmas before we are all together again.
It's been a hard weekend, lots of questions about grandad.
We went into town yesterday and bought some helium balloons. We all wrote a letter and the children did some pictures. We attatched them to the balloons and set them off in the evening.
I told the children that if they ever wanted to tell grandad something, this is what they could do.
I just got back from spending the weekend at my mums. My brother flies back to Oz on Tue, so it was a weekend of family time. It's been 18 months since we last saw him, and will be Christmas before we are all together again.
It's been a hard weekend, lots of questions about grandad.
We went into town yesterday and bought some helium balloons. We all wrote a letter and the children did some pictures. We attatched them to the balloons and set them off in the evening.
I told the children that if they ever wanted to tell grandad something, this is what they could do.
13 February 2011, 06:30 PM
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I told the children that if they ever wanted to tell grandad something, this is what they could do, Seriously, that just bought a tear too my eye very nicely put.
Cheers
Colin
Cheers
Colin