I have no children
12 April 2011, 11:53 AM
#61
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I don't resent children, they are great, in small doses - for me.
I couldn't put up with the nappies, lack of sleep, teething, illness... Etc - atleast I don't feel the need to breed just for the sake of it.
I couldn't put up with the nappies, lack of sleep, teething, illness... Etc - atleast I don't feel the need to breed just for the sake of it.
12 April 2011, 12:02 PM
#63
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I just think it makes you grow up and take completely different persecutive on life.
I don't mean it as a way to disrespect men who don't have children, just that up until that point, life is easy, I don't think that someone has had to sacrifice much in life until they have a child.
He totally had to re-evaluate every part of his life in order to bring up a child.
I am not saying that you cannot do all of the things you ever did, but if you want to be a good dad, and not do 'stuff with the boy's ( as that is a sentence I hear a lot!!) then you have to step up to the mark and realise that some things have to change.
I really do think the transition from a boy (one of the boys/lads etc) to a man comes when you have a child.
That's only my opinion though, and I am not saying it's right at all, just wanted to share it.
I don't mean it as a way to disrespect men who don't have children, just that up until that point, life is easy, I don't think that someone has had to sacrifice much in life until they have a child.
He totally had to re-evaluate every part of his life in order to bring up a child.
I am not saying that you cannot do all of the things you ever did, but if you want to be a good dad, and not do 'stuff with the boy's ( as that is a sentence I hear a lot!!) then you have to step up to the mark and realise that some things have to change.
I really do think the transition from a boy (one of the boys/lads etc) to a man comes when you have a child.
That's only my opinion though, and I am not saying it's right at all, just wanted to share it.
12 April 2011, 12:04 PM
#64
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That part is the worst!!! Good job it only lasts about 2 years, lol!!
Last edited by Hysteria1983; 12 April 2011 at 12:11 PM.
12 April 2011, 12:12 PM
#65
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Growing up is optional, growing old is mandatory 
What pisses me off is all the scroungers that breed to get a life on benefits while couples that choose not to have children get bent over to support said scroungers. That is a topic for another thread, but not having kids is helping the country
What pisses me off is all the scroungers that breed to get a life on benefits while couples that choose not to have children get bent over to support said scroungers. That is a topic for another thread, but not having kids is helping the country
12 April 2011, 12:23 PM
#66
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I just think it makes you grow up and take completely different persecutive on life.
I don't mean it as a way to disrespect men who don't have children, just that up until that point, life is easy, I don't think that someone has had to sacrifice much in life until they have a child.
He totally had to re-evaluate every part of his life in order to bring up a child.
I am not saying that you cannot do all of the things you ever did, but if you want to be a good dad, and not do 'stuff with the boy's ( as that is a sentence I hear a lot!!) then you have to step up to the mark and realise that some things have to change.
I really do think the transition from a boy (one of the boys/lads etc) to a man comes when you have a child.
That's only my opinion though, and I am not saying it's right at all, just wanted to share it.
I don't mean it as a way to disrespect men who don't have children, just that up until that point, life is easy, I don't think that someone has had to sacrifice much in life until they have a child.
He totally had to re-evaluate every part of his life in order to bring up a child.
I am not saying that you cannot do all of the things you ever did, but if you want to be a good dad, and not do 'stuff with the boy's ( as that is a sentence I hear a lot!!) then you have to step up to the mark and realise that some things have to change.
I really do think the transition from a boy (one of the boys/lads etc) to a man comes when you have a child.
That's only my opinion though, and I am not saying it's right at all, just wanted to share it.
12 April 2011, 12:28 PM
#67
I have three boys, 11, 13 and 15, they are bloody hard work and they make the house a mess, they knacker your finances and all your stuff but I think I would be bored otherwise, there is only so much stuff you can do and buy, having kids resets your expectations.
I think its easy for single people and childless couples to get to a point where they are too self obsessed to have kids, too much of an adjustment, life is easy without kids, piece of p1ss.
I never really gave it much thought, got married and it kind of happened straight away so just kept going, I am not exactly really a fan of kids but have kind of had to just get on with it and it is fun, its changed me a lot, for the better.
I do miss having any money to spend, I earn pretty good money but never see any of it as there is always a school holiday, sports gear, school trip, huge food bill, presents etc etc, cant see any end to that as they will want to go to University, then they will be into my rib for house deposits etc.
I think its easy for single people and childless couples to get to a point where they are too self obsessed to have kids, too much of an adjustment, life is easy without kids, piece of p1ss.
I never really gave it much thought, got married and it kind of happened straight away so just kept going, I am not exactly really a fan of kids but have kind of had to just get on with it and it is fun, its changed me a lot, for the better.
I do miss having any money to spend, I earn pretty good money but never see any of it as there is always a school holiday, sports gear, school trip, huge food bill, presents etc etc, cant see any end to that as they will want to go to University, then they will be into my rib for house deposits etc.
12 April 2011, 12:30 PM
#68
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Growing up is optional, growing old is mandatory
What pisses me off is all the scroungers that breed to get a life on benefits while couples that choose not to have children get bent over to support said scroungers. That is a topic for another thread, but not having kids is helping the country
What pisses me off is all the scroungers that breed to get a life on benefits while couples that choose not to have children get bent over to support said scroungers. That is a topic for another thread, but not having kids is helping the country
12 April 2011, 12:36 PM
#69
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This is a great thread, some really good, differing opinions. 
Hysteria > I understand what you mean about having kids making a boy a man - in some cases. I would say your fella was already a man, but having a child just kicked it up a gear. Any fool can make a baby, it takes a real man to be a parent.
I was a pain in the **** as a kid, but I have an enormous amount of respect for my dad, he really is someone I look up to. He was always there for us, worked his **** off to provide & is a true gentleman that taught me proper values.
Hysteria > I understand what you mean about having kids making a boy a man - in some cases. I would say your fella was already a man, but having a child just kicked it up a gear. Any fool can make a baby, it takes a real man to be a parent.
I was a pain in the **** as a kid, but I have an enormous amount of respect for my dad, he really is someone I look up to. He was always there for us, worked his **** off to provide & is a true gentleman that taught me proper values.
12 April 2011, 12:39 PM
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I never wanted kids for various reasons and indeed we were married for 12 years before we had kids.
They are great, but they are hard work - young kids make a great contraceptive!
I am totally with Michael McIntyre; young kids are best when they are unconscious and yet still breathing!
They are great, but they are hard work - young kids make a great contraceptive!
I am totally with Michael McIntyre; young kids are best when they are unconscious and yet still breathing!
12 April 2011, 12:41 PM
#71
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the best thing to do with other people's kids is to fill them with fizzy pop and sweeties just before you give them back or send them home, their parents will then have to deal with hyper active kids for the next 12 hours LOL
windyboy
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12 April 2011, 12:42 PM
#72
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No matter if you are 17, 27 or 37 and having your first child, it's not about 'growing up' as such, it's about realising that life has a whole different set of priorities.
12 April 2011, 12:55 PM
#73
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This is a great thread, some really good, differing opinions.
Hysteria > I understand what you mean about having kids making a boy a man - in some cases. I would say your fella was already a man, but having a child just kicked it up a gear. Any fool can make a baby, it takes a real man to be a parent.
I was a pain in the **** as a kid, but I have an
enormous amount of respect for my dad, he really is someone I look up to. He was always there for us, worked his **** off to provide & is a true gentleman that taught me proper values.
Hysteria > I understand what you mean about having kids making a boy a man - in some cases. I would say your fella was already a man, but having a child just kicked it up a gear. Any fool can make a baby, it takes a real man to be a parent.
I was a pain in the **** as a kid, but I have an
enormous amount of respect for my dad, he really is someone I look up to. He was always there for us, worked his **** off to provide & is a true gentleman that taught me proper values.
It was a massive adjustement for me too. As much as everyone said I was 'a natural' (WTF??) I didn't enjoy the whole breastfeeding, and my body changing. I have only come to actually enjoy them
as my children in the last 12 months or so, and that is probably because at 4 and 5 years of age they have their own personalities, and little quirks.
It certainly wasn't something we planned on doing when we did, and it was a very lonely time for me. None of my family near by, none of my friends had children and nobody who I could turn to for help, but I managed.
I can look back and think what would have been different if we hadn't had them...
Mr P most likely wouldn't have needed to change jobs, I would probably still be doing mine as it was easy and paid well, so who knows?
12 April 2011, 01:48 PM
#76
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Not like you to stereotype, Dave
No kids for me, never wanted them.
Its a choice and its only "odd" to people who a) want kids and b) are so caught up on their own self being that they can't accept that some others have a different point of view.
People also forget that what you don't have, you don't miss. So stating that I'm missing out on something wonderful is a bit of a moot point.
I'm more than fulfilled emotionally (& physically) and having a brilliant life, thank you. Don't need kids for that.
And anyway, what's worse - chosing not to have kids, or having kids for all the wrong reasons (as is all to common) ?
12 April 2011, 02:37 PM
#77
Pontificating
12 April 2011, 02:46 PM
#78
Pontificating
How sad that's how you see it. I'd rather be skint spending money on my kids and have all the brilliant times they bring than be well off and spending it on myself, lonely and bored because no matter what hobbies I have none of them come close to spending time with my kids.
Looking forward to Grand kids one day
With a 15 year old, and 7 year old and a 4 month old I should be surrounded by kids till I pop my clogs (in a non Herbert from Family Guy way of course)
12 April 2011, 03:04 PM
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Well my lady has one baking away nicely at gas mark 4 right now.
We are having a little boy and he is due on the 10th of May.
We have been together for 11 years, married for 3. I was always against the idea of having kids....but then my mindset just sort of changed, probably once we became financially stable. Plus, I always want my lady to be happy and for 3 years or so, she kept making noises that she wanted kids.
I completely understand why people may not want kids. That's a life choice.
Just don't forget how you got here.
We are having a little boy and he is due on the 10th of May.
We have been together for 11 years, married for 3. I was always against the idea of having kids....but then my mindset just sort of changed, probably once we became financially stable. Plus, I always want my lady to be happy and for 3 years or so, she kept making noises that she wanted kids.
I completely understand why people may not want kids. That's a life choice.
Just don't forget how you got here.
12 April 2011, 03:10 PM
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lol
Not like you to stereotype, Dave
No kids for me, never wanted them.
Its a choice and its only "odd" to people who a) want kids and b) are so caught up on their own self being that they can't accept that some others have a different point of view.
People also forget that what you don't have, you don't miss. So stating that I'm missing out on something wonderful is a bit of a moot point.
I'm more than fulfilled emotionally (& physically) and having a brilliant life, thank you. Don't need kids for that.
And anyway, what's worse - chosing not to have kids, or having kids for all the wrong reasons (as is all to common) ?
Not like you to stereotype, Dave
No kids for me, never wanted them.
Its a choice and its only "odd" to people who a) want kids and b) are so caught up on their own self being that they can't accept that some others have a different point of view.
People also forget that what you don't have, you don't miss. So stating that I'm missing out on something wonderful is a bit of a moot point.
I'm more than fulfilled emotionally (& physically) and having a brilliant life, thank you. Don't need kids for that.
And anyway, what's worse - chosing not to have kids, or having kids for all the wrong reasons (as is all to common) ?
12 April 2011, 03:16 PM
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the day a woman says to me "this is your kid" there will be a ******* steward's enquiry. my **** has a better chance of snipe shooting on the moon than me fathering a kid. the joys of having no lead in your pencil. shoot yer muck and no babies. win win.
13 April 2011, 12:47 AM
#85
lol
Not like you to stereotype, Dave
No kids for me, never wanted them.
Its a choice and its only "odd" to people who a) want kids and b) are so caught up on their own self being that they can't accept that some others have a different point of view.
People also forget that what you don't have, you don't miss. So stating that I'm missing out on something wonderful is a bit of a moot point.
I'm more than fulfilled emotionally (& physically) and having a brilliant life, thank you. Don't need kids for that.
And anyway, what's worse - chosing not to have kids, or having kids for all the wrong reasons (as is all to common) ?
Not like you to stereotype, Dave
No kids for me, never wanted them.
Its a choice and its only "odd" to people who a) want kids and b) are so caught up on their own self being that they can't accept that some others have a different point of view.
People also forget that what you don't have, you don't miss. So stating that I'm missing out on something wonderful is a bit of a moot point.
I'm more than fulfilled emotionally (& physically) and having a brilliant life, thank you. Don't need kids for that.
And anyway, what's worse - chosing not to have kids, or having kids for all the wrong reasons (as is all to common) ?
For me there are various reasons why I wouldn't want to have kids, but they don't matter here. It's my choice and I won't be made to feel bad about it. Some people want them, some people don't, and I don't think (generally) people should be made to feel bad either way.
I don't like the comment about people who choose to not have children being too self obsessed though. Leaving 'accidents' to one side, why do people plan to have a child? Surely it's a 'selfish' reason to some extent...So the same comment can go either way.
13 April 2011, 12:58 AM
#86
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I doubt anyone wants you or others to feel bad Lisa just as I won't feel bad if someone suggests that I'm 
for having one I'm genuinely interested though as to why peeps don't want kids assuming that they are able to of course? Is it really just a perception of lack of money or indeed the cramping of a lifestyle ...
TX.
for having one I'm genuinely interested though as to why peeps don't want kids assuming that they are able to of course? Is it really just a perception of lack of money or indeed the cramping of a lifestyle ...TX.
13 April 2011, 07:26 AM
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I doubt anyone wants you or others to feel bad Lisa just as I won't feel bad if someone suggests that I'm for having one I'm genuinely interested though as to why peeps don't want kids assuming that they are able to of course? Is it really just a perception of lack of money or indeed the cramping of a lifestyle ...
TX.
for having one I'm genuinely interested though as to why peeps don't want kids assuming that they are able to of course? Is it really just a perception of lack of money or indeed the cramping of a lifestyle ...TX.
Even if work didn't take me away, the amount of responsibility required to raise a child is way more than I have. Plenty of idiots out there breeding when they should have been sterilised at birth, yet decide to fill the world with more mouths to feed & more burden on society.
The third & probably best reason, I'm too selfish! I enjoy my lifestyle. I would not want to be restricted by having a kid. the amount of effort required to raise a child properly is incredible, I take my hat off to anyone who can do it. For me, I know my limits & I know I would be an awful dad.
Being an uncle is just fine, I get to enjoy my nephews on a limited basis on my terms & have none of the grief & responsibility associated with having my own.
These are just my opinions & reasons.
13 April 2011, 07:45 AM
#88
I don't have kiinds but all 6 of my sisters do. When they bring them round I don't mind. Yes they are loud and sadly I don't have toys for them - Now we have the kinects.
The only think i dislike about them comming over is they manage to get more crumbs on the floor then biscuits in their mouths.
I also have a rule that anything under knee high is fair game for them - I have two beagles and it's really annoying half way through cod they turn it off with their noses!
The only think i dislike about them comming over is they manage to get more crumbs on the floor then biscuits in their mouths.
I also have a rule that anything under knee high is fair game for them - I have two beagles and it's really annoying half way through cod they turn it off with their noses!
13 April 2011, 03:11 PM
#89
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I never wanted kids for various reasons and indeed we were married for 12 years before we had kids.
They are great, but they are hard work - young kids make a great contraceptive!
I am totally with Michael McIntyre; young kids are best when they are unconscious and yet still breathing!
They are great, but they are hard work - young kids make a great contraceptive!
I am totally with Michael McIntyre; young kids are best when they are unconscious and yet still breathing!
Les
13 April 2011, 03:20 PM
#90
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I doubt anyone wants you or others to feel bad Lisa just as I won't feel bad if someone suggests that I'm for having one I'm genuinely interested though as to why peeps don't want kids assuming that they are able to of course? Is it really just a perception of lack of money or indeed the cramping of a lifestyle ...
TX.
for having one I'm genuinely interested though as to why peeps don't want kids assuming that they are able to of course? Is it really just a perception of lack of money or indeed the cramping of a lifestyle ...TX.
It's quite simple.
I've never felt paternal. Never felt an emotional "need" to have kids. Wife felt the same and so we took the decision not to have any.
Nothing to do with money or cramping of lifestyle.