tarmac terror

iTrader: (2)

to get on the interwebs, and see if saga are offering any decent deals on coach tours or cruises. "Dip yer bread" he said " and don't forget to check if carers can travel for free" Lewis insisted. As he hung up the telephone he remembered.....

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

Michael Gove. He knows that really I respect teachers and secretly would love to be one. I just get so much attention being controversial. If only the pesky kids on that Honda forum who banned me............................

tarmac terror

iTrader: (2)

would realise that I have forgotten more about sucking, squeezing, banging and blowing than they will ever know. There loss was definately scoobynets gain. Without me this site would be.....

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

as dry as a vultures crutch "I'll show them there's life in the old dog yet" he thought as he wrung the last drops of p*ss from his beige Farah slacks. "Damn those imported p*ss bags" he cursed. "The standard, unmolested UK p*ss bags are so much better, there will always be a market for a standard UK spec p*ss bags" he cursed, secretly knowing however that the imported ones had a bigger capacity and would stop him from p*ssing his Farah slacks. . Still when matron gives me my next bed bath I'll make sure I have a stonking great................

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

packet of condoms as they are doing a special offer on bum boys international £7 for 100 dont you know, so when the camel traders come for tea i'll have enough for a bumrumpy session, suddenly he was interupted from posting on scoobynet by a loud banging noise coming from the kitchen

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

It was PS Lewis' deluxe "hint of lavender" lonely man friend, his rubber love wand falling from the work surface as he had forgotten to switch it off. As he picked it up and grasped it between his arthritis ridden hands and marveled at its girth he felt for the poor camel, "Christ, the poor creature will have ringpiece like a dinner plate he thought. I'm glad my male friends always lube it up, otherwise I'd walk like............

madscoob

iTrader: (3)

an egyptian with a thousand camel flees hanging from his nads , luckily the lube prevents this from happening as they fall off and can't

my06 ppp silver

iTrader: (2)

infect his wise followers starstruck by his infinite wisdom wiping out his power to render people gobsmacked by his propoganda

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

Which is slang for having a really good look at something, which if he had gone to spec savers he would of been able to see that the diesel engine in his honda is really not the one to have, as it will be discontinued shortly due to it being

Hysteria1983

Unsuitable for conversion to a lawnmower due to it's lack of speed.

Whilst PS Lewis mulled over the extremes of his car and camel worries there was a knock at the door. He was met be a charming lady who introduced herself as 'splicer'.

She was dresses head to toe in PVC and in this July heat...

mamoon2

..... and was naturally sweating profusely. "Please Sir, I need help, I'm stuck in this PVC suit and it has shrunk due to the heat, do you have any garden shears to free me?"

Pete went inside......

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

And had a quick rummage through the draws only to discover it was a transvestite, which pleased him greatly as he had so missed the feel of man meat since his experience with the egyptian police when he was

madscoob

iTrader: (3)

lengthed senseless by a egyptian camel trainer who caught him trying to seduce his favorite camel with a carrot

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

problem was camels don't favour carrots and it soon became painfully clear ..

Ant

so he just date raped the camel

RobsyUK

iTrader: (2)

while thinking about that copper in his 'hot' uniform and trimmed mustache running his hands all over his body...

The Trooper 1815

iTrader: (31)

Pete locked himself in a dark room, dropped another Viagra and slipped on his glow in the dark Captain America Condoms when suddenly.............

RobsyUK

iTrader: (2)

Darth Vader taps him on the sholder, rolls on a glow in the dark and challanges him to a duel to the death! Both hold there light sabiers and begin....

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

The door was flung open. it was Mrs PS Lewis. " Pedro,Your soup's ready" she said, " Leave your teeth on the side and make sure your bag's not full" she barked, squinting in the dark towards the glow in the dark Captain America Condom adorning Pedro's tiny excuse for a c*ck. "I think the clock in the hall has stopped", she said nodding towards Pedro's c*ck. "The second finger on your luminous clock is pointing to half past. "Damn damn damn" he cursed, "Even when fitted with discount branded, padded, luminous condoms, my manhood still appears the size of a fruit flies. Reaching into the top drawer Pedro took out his trusty...................

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

Vibrating pocket pu$$y and sliped it onto darths light saber, and told him to imagine how good his *** was going to feel after he has finished his soup and off he went back into the kitchen to

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

dip his bread

The Trooper 1815

iTrader: (31)

...............in absolutely standard OE from Subaru engine oil and proceeds to massage it into his shrinking manhood when Mrs PS says...................

joz8968

iTrader: (13)

...FFS Pete, it's as small as the crank sensor! That's no good to me! Please, please, just unplug it from me, or otherwise there'll be a catastrophic failure in my ****** tonight........

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

**** sprang to the deluded old tw*ts mind. Some folk on scoobynet are so ****. With that in mind the mange ridden old Lewis reached for his Comma 10/40 semi and began rubbing it into...................

The Trooper 1815

iTrader: (31)

Mrs Lewis who realised Pete suddenly meant business. But this was the last time his walnuts would spew forth the malformed sperm because.........................

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

They had been swimming in pewtrified vinegar so long that they had become

madscoob

iTrader: (3)

soft and easy to grasp . she contemplated surgical removal for a brief second , then upon considering the cost decided her best dressmaking scissors would be a cheeper option . she lay in wait over the sofa(**** in the air) scissors hidden under her

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

So as the smelly slimey **** stained y fronts droped to the floor and he struggled to clear her clag nuts with his shriveled winkel she got the scissors at the ready,Just at that point she had a sobering thought, if i cut his nuts off then he will be in all day sat by the fire and even more of a miserable old git, and that would end my daily romps with

The Pink Ninja

iTrader: (23)

That camel who i sent out to find him all that time ago.......Just then she thought...

s70rjw

iTrader: (2)

Even the camel had fresher smelling breath than the senile old git, still desperately trying to get..........................