Jokes to upset everyone
03 September 2011, 02:19 PM
#37
What's blue and doesn't fit?
A dead epileptic.
What's 12 inches high, sparkly and sits at the end of a kids bed?
Gary glitter's boots.
A bit more obscure:
What's blue and square?
An undercover orange.
A dead epileptic.
What's 12 inches high, sparkly and sits at the end of a kids bed?
Gary glitter's boots.
A bit more obscure:
What's blue and square?
An undercover orange.
03 September 2011, 10:07 PM
#50
Scooby Regular
My friends car was a total write off, it was covered in blood, mud, leaves and grass.
I asked "what's happened" and my friend replied " I ran over Wayne Rooney". I said, "well that explains the blood but what about the mud, leaves and grass?" My friend replied "He tried to escape across the park".
I asked "what's happened" and my friend replied " I ran over Wayne Rooney". I said, "well that explains the blood but what about the mud, leaves and grass?" My friend replied "He tried to escape across the park".
03 September 2011, 10:42 PM
#51
Scooby Regular
I just watched my dog chase it's tail for ten minutes and I thought to myself
'Wow, dogs are easily entertained.'
...Then I realised, ...I just watched my dog chase its tail for ten minutes.
'Wow, dogs are easily entertained.'
...Then I realised, ...I just watched my dog chase its tail for ten minutes.
04 September 2011, 12:08 PM
#53
Barack Obama is on one of his public outings on the coast and he sees an obvious redneck fishing a black guy out of the water. Obama feels a lump in his throat; this is what he has been working towards all his life. Suddenly, Cleatus throws the guy back into the water. Obama is confused and outraged. He runs across, pulls the guy out of the water and asks Cleatus, 'What the hell are you doing, man?'
Cleatus replies 'Ahm shark fishing, Mr president'
Cleatus replies 'Ahm shark fishing, Mr president'
04 September 2011, 01:54 PM
#55
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 897
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The missus came home steaming drunk last night. "You up for some role play action, babe?" She asked with a wink.
"Not really." I replied.
"Oh, come on." She said. "We can act out ANY scene, from ANY film you want."
Walking over to her with a huge smile on my face, I noticed her expression change. She had realised her mistake, however it was too late. Where I had previously seen arousal in her eyes, I now saw only blind terror.
As I shouted "THIS... IS... SPARTA!" and kicked her down the stairs
"Not really." I replied.
"Oh, come on." She said. "We can act out ANY scene, from ANY film you want."
Walking over to her with a huge smile on my face, I noticed her expression change. She had realised her mistake, however it was too late. Where I had previously seen arousal in her eyes, I now saw only blind terror.
As I shouted "THIS... IS... SPARTA!" and kicked her down the stairs
04 September 2011, 01:55 PM
#56
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 897
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Stolen from Sickipedia:
Apparently Adele is meant to be doing the theme to the next James Bond. What the **** will they call the film?
Dr. No Salad? Thunderthighs? Pies Another Day?
Apparently Adele is meant to be doing the theme to the next James Bond. What the **** will they call the film?
Dr. No Salad? Thunderthighs? Pies Another Day?
