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The door goes, you are in jogging bottoms, no pants and are nursing a bit of a Semi
The door goes, I'm only in lycra shorts, I'm hot n sweaty from cycling and I'm expecting it to be the Jehovah's witnesses I saw a couple of doors up the road so wanted to get rid of them...
Post Christmas dinner after an epic amount of food, deciding the dog needs walking and realising you need to divest yourself of over a pound of Sprouts, pretty quickly, walking like a robot, sitting on walls trying to suck it back in, jogging a bit, looking for somewhere to drop it, ringing the missus to open the door and get out of the way and then only just getting your pants down !
Your boss ringing, (today) sounding a bit serious but asking you to go through your list of topics, still sounding a bit grumpy, then letting you finish and admit he was winding you up ! **** then telling you you have been promoted along with a decent pay rise !!!!!!
Post Christmas dinner after an epic amount of food, deciding the dog needs walking and realising you need to divest yourself of over a pound of Sprouts, pretty quickly, walking like a robot, sitting on walls trying to suck it back in, jogging a bit, looking for somewhere to drop it, ringing the missus to open the door and get out of the way and then only just getting your pants down !
Your boss ringing, (today) sounding a bit serious but asking you to go through your list of topics, still sounding a bit grumpy, then letting you finish and admit he was winding you up ! **** then telling you you have been promoted along with a decent pay rise !!!!!!
Going out on the p1ss, after a two week exercise where the rat packs bunged you right up. Much beer and kebab later, you are lost in your home town and your stomach decides this is the time. Being inebriated, you find a bush and back into it with your trousers down, after all you are a hardened soldier(!). As your body backs in and starts sh1tting similtaneously you realise you have run out of room in the bush, hit a wall but still the front half of your body is outside of the bush on the side of the road......
Waking up the nest day wondering who you sent that pathetic text message to....
Done that one a few times in a drunken state,waking up the next morning then it suddenly comes to mind,did i really send it or was it a dream,reach for phone check sent messages