Evolution Stu

iTrader: (2)

Also, dont forget the seperation order, its an absolute NECESSITY nowadays.

Did you know that if you win the lottery, even after your divorce, the ex wife can claim half of it? Take care out there...!

chrishigham

right a little update, i went to visit the bank and they checked to see if i could afford the mortgage on my own and i cant so the only option now is to sell the house. I asked if my parents could be guarentors, which they could be but they must prove they can pay the mortgage themselves and after my dads heart attack on thursday i dont want to bother them with this. The annoying bit is i could afford it, the subaru, gym and expensive virgin tv package would all have to go but i could quite easily but there computer says no.

LEO-RS

Why the need for seperation orders etc?

Can you not just remortgage the house with a different lender under your name only or is it to do with title deeds on buying the house in the 1st place?

chrishigham

i just spoke to an estate agent and he recommended trying to re mortgage under just my name

Evolution Stu

iTrader: (2)

Because a divorce does nothing more legally than dissolve the marriage and allow you freedom to remarry. It does not sever financial, moral or obligatory ties to each other, which is why you read about divorced men getting nailed financially 5 years later or so when they win lottery etc etc... clever lawyers advise the woman to keep an eye on her ex in case his standard of living improves.

chrishigham

we arent married thankfully if that makes any difference

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

That works both ways though, presumably?

Carlh

hope everything goes ok for you chris

chrishigham

cheers

tubbytommy

iTrader: (20)

having been through this previously (2003) me and my ex got the house valued and i just gave her half the equity and we split the stuff inside.
i then remortgaged for her half of the equity and gave her the money.
that said though it was very amicable and no kids involved.
unlike my divorce in 2010 which wasnt so easy as 2 kids were involved.
this was more complicated as a house two kids and two cars were involved.
but it all worked out ok in the end, you pay your child maintenance,see your kids as there is nothing else you can do.
try not to make it messy with your ex if kids are involved though as they can pretty much do what they want kids wise and its very hard to get access if they dont want you to have it.
good luck though fella

Midlife......

iTrader: (2)

Did I read the post right..... you are not married?

If this is the case then it's completely different to a divorce. Children are very different too as you have no automatic parental rights. Tricky and legal advice deffo needed.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governme...ends/index.htm

Shaun

Jamz3k

I think you can try to choose wisely but in the end all women are the same much in the same way all men are the same, its pretty much damage control. Regardless of how nice you think a woman is, it is generally as fake as the caked in makeup face she has on, she'll claw your eyes out the minute it suits her (or the minute you stop suiting her needs). imo.

GlesgaKiss

And life is unpredictable.

Hope it works out for you, OP.

chrishigham

Thanks everyone, thats right we're not married, the house was valued today there will be roughly 70'000 equioty so half that = R34 GTR

kenc

iTrader: (6)

I dont think its just a case of the bank wont let you have it on your own, and you have to sell it??? that doesnt make sense, so if in an bad time your house say that you owe 200k on is only sold for 100k... who covers the 100k loss???? You are not fit for a mortage according to them so are they going to suffer the 100k... if so everyone would be "breaking up"
IMO you shouldnt of went near the bank, you need legal advice not bankers advice...

If for example you GF said she wanted nothing to do with the house, and wanted off the Mortage, what would the bank do then?
With the right legal backing you can do the dictating, not the bank

chrishigham

they said i couldnt afford the mortgage on my single income, and i could go elsewhere and try and remorgage. We bought the house for 183k and it got valued today at at least 250k (we got it cheap in the first place). I will go and seek legal advice before i jump into anything thanks

Turbohot

If she was such a **** teaser d!ckhead, why on earth did your pal marry that woman and had two kids with her??? They say that one needs to keeps his/her eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards. He did the opposite, by the read of it. Unless he likes to be emotionally abused/challenged, but couldn't hack living with it 24/7.

And then some peeps will go through it all over again with someone new. New relationship for them also starts all nicey nicey, but one day, that new person also becomes their worst enemy. However, it makes them feel better when they think -" I am the sole victim in this, and she is a total biatch or he is a right barsturd through n' through! ". Viscious cycle for some.

ScoobyWon't

And yet they never realise that the only common denominator in all of their failed relationships is themselves.

Turbohot

This is exactly what I meant, SW.

Victims need to examine their own vulnerability as well as spot the evil in the exploiting party, especially the ones who keep choosing to fall for abuse. Other than that, just being with someone isn't enough for either party. How you are with them matters most. Unfortunately, people change with time. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. After starting a living-in relationship, its often observed that some people hit the comfort zone, and become different to what they used to be, when they spent some quality hours together while dating. That sort of thing doesn't help either.

Jamz3k

The examples below show how men and women are wired differently.

Susan Boyle is brute ulgy and minted, she's single because a man would rather be skint and banging some fine *** than minted and eating from Susan Boyles acidic furry cup.

Paul Daniels, he's short, old and rich. He's knows that Debbie McGee only cared about the money and he doesn't care that people made fun of him because at the end of the day he was banging Debbie McGee and is quite happy to pay for it.

Women love money and will do anything for it.
Men love fine *** and will do anything for it.

tubbytommy

iTrader: (20)

i love chips

Jamz3k

I love fishy fingers