Dad isn't very well at all.
17 January 2013, 12:54 PM
#31
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The best advice i can give is let it out, i have since discovered i don't like being around people at such moments, prefering to sort my own thoughts in my head and deal with it alone, because there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, so i would rather not hear it, but i am quite mentally strong.
Try and keep as much normality as possible in your life, this helped me, i don't think it ever goes away and i don't want it to, he lives on with me in my thoughts.
It's a difficult time and there is no right or wrong way to deal with it.
I'm sad and happy at the same time wrighting this as it does come back to the surface on threads like these, but i too took comfort in my father bonding with my son in the last year of his life as he was living with me, it's things like that that i look back on now and it makes me happy not sad like when i started this post.
Just remember the good times.
17 January 2013, 03:01 PM
#32
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MRI scan results confirm that he has had multiple strokes. 
Mum and I thought this 9 days ago but no doctor would listen.
Basically, the arteries in his brain are 'furring up' so the oxygen supply is restricted.
At least we know now I guess. He is now being moved to a stroke ward to access his potential.
Mum and I thought this 9 days ago but no doctor would listen.
Basically, the arteries in his brain are 'furring up' so the oxygen supply is restricted.
At least we know now I guess. He is now being moved to a stroke ward to access his potential.
22 January 2013, 01:11 PM
#34
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Unfortunately Les, there isn't anything they can do regarding the strokes.
His epilepsy can sometimes trigger a stroke or vice versa so he is now on a very, very high dose of anti-epilepsy medication.
He has no real coordination at the moment either. I'll give him a drink out of one those 'fruit-shoots' and when I take the bottle away, he moves his hand to his forehead thinking that is where is mouth is, to have some more, even though he isn't holding anything.
They moved him to the specific stroke unit on Friday. The physio saw him yesterday and after 30 minutes of trying to help him exercise (very gently) he was exhausted. This was with him just sat on the end of the bed. I suppose this is to be expected as he has been bed bound for the last 3 weeks.
The physio also noted that they don't believe he has any vision at all. Combine all that with him now being incontinent, the poor fella really doesn't have much quality of life at all.
The doctors were talking about him going back to the nursing home at the end of this week, but I don't think they are equipped to deal with all of this needs.
I feel completely helpless and just don't know what to do or what to suggest.
His epilepsy can sometimes trigger a stroke or vice versa so he is now on a very, very high dose of anti-epilepsy medication.
He has no real coordination at the moment either. I'll give him a drink out of one those 'fruit-shoots' and when I take the bottle away, he moves his hand to his forehead thinking that is where is mouth is, to have some more, even though he isn't holding anything.
They moved him to the specific stroke unit on Friday. The physio saw him yesterday and after 30 minutes of trying to help him exercise (very gently) he was exhausted. This was with him just sat on the end of the bed. I suppose this is to be expected as he has been bed bound for the last 3 weeks.
The physio also noted that they don't believe he has any vision at all. Combine all that with him now being incontinent, the poor fella really doesn't have much quality of life at all.
The doctors were talking about him going back to the nursing home at the end of this week, but I don't think they are equipped to deal with all of this needs.
I feel completely helpless and just don't know what to do or what to suggest.
22 January 2013, 02:29 PM
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I am very sorry to hear that he is so ill and that he has so many problems associated with it all.
I understand how you feel and it is so difficult to know what to do for the best.
I hope you can resist him being sent back to a nursing home which is not well enough equipped to help him. Maybe your best way is to resist that happening if you can, Sounds like he is much better off in the hospital.
I think your only really effective plan at the moment is to see that he understands your concern for him and that you are doing all you can to support him. Knowing that is always a very good way to help him increase his own inner strength.
I can only send my wishes to you and him for the best.
Les
I understand how you feel and it is so difficult to know what to do for the best.
I hope you can resist him being sent back to a nursing home which is not well enough equipped to help him. Maybe your best way is to resist that happening if you can, Sounds like he is much better off in the hospital.
I think your only really effective plan at the moment is to see that he understands your concern for him and that you are doing all you can to support him. Knowing that is always a very good way to help him increase his own inner strength.
I can only send my wishes to you and him for the best.
Les
22 January 2013, 02:45 PM
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What an awful situation for you.
Have you contacted the Stroke Association?
They will listen to you and offer advice..
http://www.stroke.org.uk/
Have you contacted the Stroke Association?
They will listen to you and offer advice..
http://www.stroke.org.uk/
22 January 2013, 03:17 PM
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What an awful situation for you.
Have you contacted the Stroke Association?
They will listen to you and offer advice..
http://www.stroke.org.uk/
Have you contacted the Stroke Association?
They will listen to you and offer advice..
http://www.stroke.org.uk/
We were told in 2005 that he would only ever deteriorate due to the brain damage and I am very well informed on what he is and isn't entitled to from the government. (Had lots of fights with the council over the years to ensure he gets everything he needed)
It is just hard to see my old man in a state that nobody can do anything about. I can see it on the doctors faces that they don't hold out much hope for him. As they have said to mum and I, at 73, he is not a priority.
I have been 'missing' him for over 7 years now and may be that is why I am finding it so hard.
The doctors tell you what to expect but not how to deal with it.
Feel so bad for just wanting 'closure' for him.
22 January 2013, 03:21 PM
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Sorry to hear about your pops fella. Sounds like an absolutely awful time for everyone involved.
I hope you find solice in knowing people do give a **** about people, even if they're strangers. Thoughts are with you.
I hope you find solice in knowing people do give a **** about people, even if they're strangers. Thoughts are with you.
22 January 2013, 03:41 PM
#39
I appreciate the suggestion, but strokes, unfortunately are not new to us.
We were told in 2005 that he would only ever deteriorate due to the brain damage and I am very well informed on what he is and isn't entitled to from the government. (Had lots of fights with the council over the years to ensure he gets everything he needed)
It is just hard to see my old man in a state that nobody can do anything about. I can see it on the doctors faces that they don't hold out much hope for him. As they have said to mum and I, at 73, he is not a priority.
I have been 'missing' him for over 7 years now and may be that is why I am finding it so hard.
The doctors tell you what to expect but not how to deal with it.
Feel so bad for just wanting 'closure' for him.
We were told in 2005 that he would only ever deteriorate due to the brain damage and I am very well informed on what he is and isn't entitled to from the government. (Had lots of fights with the council over the years to ensure he gets everything he needed)
It is just hard to see my old man in a state that nobody can do anything about. I can see it on the doctors faces that they don't hold out much hope for him. As they have said to mum and I, at 73, he is not a priority.
I have been 'missing' him for over 7 years now and may be that is why I am finding it so hard.
The doctors tell you what to expect but not how to deal with it.
Feel so bad for just wanting 'closure' for him.
22 January 2013, 05:02 PM
#40
I appreciate the suggestion, but strokes, unfortunately are not new to us.
We were told in 2005 that he would only ever deteriorate due to the brain damage and I am very well informed on what he is and isn't entitled to from the government. (Had lots of fights with the council over the years to ensure he gets everything he needed)
It is just hard to see my old man in a state that nobody can do anything about. I can see it on the doctors faces that they don't hold out much hope for him. As they have said to mum and I, at 73, he is not a priority.
I have been 'missing' him for over 7 years now and may be that is why I am finding it so hard.
The doctors tell you what to expect but not how to deal with it.
Feel so bad for just wanting 'closure' for him.
We were told in 2005 that he would only ever deteriorate due to the brain damage and I am very well informed on what he is and isn't entitled to from the government. (Had lots of fights with the council over the years to ensure he gets everything he needed)
It is just hard to see my old man in a state that nobody can do anything about. I can see it on the doctors faces that they don't hold out much hope for him. As they have said to mum and I, at 73, he is not a priority.
I have been 'missing' him for over 7 years now and may be that is why I am finding it so hard.
The doctors tell you what to expect but not how to deal with it.
Feel so bad for just wanting 'closure' for him.
22 January 2013, 08:29 PM
#41
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Just seen this, don't tend to venture far into NSR.
So sorry to hear about your dad, Chris.
I don't think there's anything worse than the feeling of helplessness, like you say.
Try and keep your chin up mate, and like others say, try and spend as much time as possible with him.
And remember, like the some old advert used to say, it's good to talk.
So sorry to hear about your dad, Chris.
I don't think there's anything worse than the feeling of helplessness, like you say.
Try and keep your chin up mate, and like others say, try and spend as much time as possible with him.
And remember, like the some old advert used to say, it's good to talk.
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