Whos got the most offensive joke?
11 February 2014, 09:16 PM
#34
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This guy from over the road was talking to me earlier.
"My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided.
"What? That fat ugly ****er I see every morning outside your house?"
"Yes," he laughed, cheering up.
"Why would Dave the milkman want to **** that?"
"My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided.
"What? That fat ugly ****er I see every morning outside your house?"
"Yes," he laughed, cheering up.
"Why would Dave the milkman want to **** that?"
11 February 2014, 09:23 PM
#38
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Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens.
Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
11 February 2014, 09:28 PM
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11 February 2014, 09:28 PM
#44
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11 February 2014, 09:30 PM
#45
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I told my wife that Bob down the pub said he has shagged every single woman in our road ... except just one!!
She said, "I bet that's the stuck up bitch at number 20!"
She said, "I bet that's the stuck up bitch at number 20!"
11 February 2014, 09:37 PM
#52
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I said, "Darling, let's try something new in the bedroom... I'll get some chocolate spread, some whipped cream, and a few strawberries.
"Then I'll paint my **** with the chocolate spread, and call the kids in for a 'special treat'. Then, one by one, I'll pop the strawberries up my ****, squirt cream down my crack, and while Emily deepthroats me for the last of the chocolate, Jessica can my lick my arsehole and swallow strawberries as I **** them out.
"Then it'll be time to pop their cherries. I'll start with Jess cos she's already 9, she'll be a bit more developed. While I'm ****ing her childish vagina, Emily can lick up the blood and get her own tiny **** ready for a good stretching.
"Then I'll finish off by banging them in the **** a couple of times before squirting my creamy load over their faces. Shall we give it a go?"
My wife looked stunned. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" she said.
I said, "**** me, you're into some weird ****."
"Then I'll paint my **** with the chocolate spread, and call the kids in for a 'special treat'. Then, one by one, I'll pop the strawberries up my ****, squirt cream down my crack, and while Emily deepthroats me for the last of the chocolate, Jessica can my lick my arsehole and swallow strawberries as I **** them out.
"Then it'll be time to pop their cherries. I'll start with Jess cos she's already 9, she'll be a bit more developed. While I'm ****ing her childish vagina, Emily can lick up the blood and get her own tiny **** ready for a good stretching.
"Then I'll finish off by banging them in the **** a couple of times before squirting my creamy load over their faces. Shall we give it a go?"
My wife looked stunned. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" she said.
I said, "**** me, you're into some weird ****."
11 February 2014, 09:43 PM
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A guy's wife seems poorly so he gets the doc to run some tests.
Doc phones chap with results and says "Your wife's either got Aids or Altzeimers". "What do I do" asks the guy, "How do I tell?"
Doc says "Take her to the bus terminal in the middle of town. If she makes it home, don't f,uck her".
dl
Doc phones chap with results and says "Your wife's either got Aids or Altzeimers". "What do I do" asks the guy, "How do I tell?"
Doc says "Take her to the bus terminal in the middle of town. If she makes it home, don't f,uck her".
dl
