> > > > >
> > > > > Essex
>Hurricane Appeal
> > > > > A major hurricane (Shazza) and earthquake
> > > > measuring 5.8 on the
> > > > >Richter scale hit Essex in the early hours of
> > > > Friday with its epicentre in
> > > > >Basildon.
> > > > > Victims were seen wandering around
> > > > aimlessly, muttering
> > > > >"faaackinell".
> > > > > The hurricane decimated the area causing
> > > > approximately £30 worth of
> > > > >damage.
> > > > > Several priceless collections of mementos
> > > > from Majorca and the Costa
> > > > >Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
> > > >
> > Three areas of historic burnt out cars
> > > were
> > > > disturbed.
> > > > > Many locals were woken well before their
> > > > giros arrived.
> > > > > Essex FM reported that hundreds of
> > > residents
> > > > were confused and
> > > > >bewildered and were still trying to come to terms
> > > > with the fact that
> > > > >something interesting had happened in Basildon.
> > > > > One resident - Tracy Smith, a 15-year-old
> > > > mother of 5 said "It was
> > > > >such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came
> > > > running into my bedroom
> > > > >crying. My youngest
>two,
> > > > > Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through
> > > > it all. I was still
> > > > >shaking when I was watching Trisha the next
> > > > morning."
> > > > > Apparently though, looting, muggings and
> > > car
> > > > crime were unaffected
> > > > >and carried on as normal.
> > > > > The British Red Cross has so far managed
> > > to
> > > > ship 4,000 crates of
> > > > >Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken
> > > > locals.
> > > > > Rescue workers are still searching through
> > > > the rubble and have found
> > > > >large quantities of personal
>belongings,
> > > including
> > > > benefit books, jewellery
> > > > >from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from
> > > > Poundland.
> > > > >
> > > > > HOW CAN YOU HELP?
> > > > > This appeal is to raise money for food and
> > > > clothing parcels for
> > > > >those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this
> > > > disaster. Clothing is most
> > > > >sought after - items most needed include:
> > > > > Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa
> > > > tracksuit tops (his and hers)
> > > > >Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport
> > > > boots. Any other items
> > > > >usually sold
>in Primark.
> > > > > Food parcels may be harder to come by, but
> > > > are needed all the same.
> > > > >Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals Tins
> > > > of baked beans, Ice
> > > > >cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
> > > > > 22p buys a biro for filling in the
> > > > compensation forms
> > > > > £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy
> > > drinks
> > > > for a family of 9
> > > > > £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a
> > > > lighter to calm the nerves of
> > > > >those affected.
> > > > >
> > > > > **Breaking
>news**
> > > > > Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble
> > > > smothered in raspberry
> > > > >alcho-pop 'where are you bleeding from?' they
> > > > asked," ROMFORD" said the
> > > > >girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?"
> > > > >

 

done the rounds a while ago

 

shame i not as fast as me scoob