You know you're from Essex when.....

You've been to Colchester Castle on a school trip.

You know what Bas Vegas is.

You Christmas shop in Lakeside.

You stand behind Jodie Marsh in the supermarket.

You scream out Essex when you're drunk and just outside London when your sober.

You recognise that water is pronounced with a silent t.

You've heard every Essex girl joke under the sun and they still aren't funny, just disgusting.

You once thought that a train on a pier was cool.

You remember when Southend Pier used to be the longest pier in the world.

You get a little excited when Eastender's ventures into Essex for one episode.

You know or know someone who knows someone who has been on Big Brother.

You know what Chelmo is short for.

The drink Lambrini is very familiar to you.

You overuse the word mate to complete strangers.

You say shut up a lot.

You say 'you what' a lot.

Peter Pan's playground was a highlight of your childhood.

People think you are posh because you don't have a tattoo.

You've been to a lot of different garden centres.

You go on holiday to Kavos or the like and see the same people as home.

Even when abroad people laugh at you when you tell them where you're from.

You have to dress up as a chav and don't have to buy anything.

You go to the ogs ead at ornchurch..

You go out wearing a top that doesn't cover your belly...or belly button.

You commonly state that Bluewater is full of 'posh shops.'

You get your acrylic nails done for any occasion.

You mix up 'are' and 'our'.

You use 'Mug' as an insult and not for describing a drinking implement.

You pronounce Essex 'Essix'.

You say things like "My light don't work" or "I fink it's broke".

You pronounce Dagenham 'Dagnam' or just "NAAAM"

You say "You know wot i mean" a lot!

When an Essex girl tells another girl they're from Essex they get a dirty look, but when you tell a bloke and they smile!!!

Bus drivers often pull over to chat up a girl on the street!

When you find yourself in New York and someone asks what London is like you reply "I don't know, I'm from Essex innit"

You descrive people as "a rite sort" or "well fit...!!!"

People all over the world know the Essex stereotype, and constantly remind us when we go abroad! When you say you're from Essex a common reply is "O yer Essex girls we like Essex girls"

You can spot an Essex boy because he's got the tribal band on his arm!

You drive a white xr3i, or ford escort gti (or such!)

Blacked our windows on a Ford Focus are typical.

To men Essex women (even strangers) are known as "M'Love" (My Love) or "Babe".

When you go to a club out side of Essex (i.e. Butlins in Bognor) you shout "You what! You what! You what you what you what!" a lot!!!!

Essex girls in clubs dance around their handbags after a bottle of Blossom Hill Rose.

Everyone has heard of Dukes.

You spell stuff the way it's said, "Whotya doin' laters?"

Garage music makes you homesick.

Two words. Jog On

You drive your modified car to the 24hr McDonalds to show how cool you are.

You’ve been taken on a date to McDonalds with someone in a modified car.

You recognise the people on “Essex Wives”

Jacks in Ilford is familiar to you.

You know the difference between Woodgreen and Woodford Green.

You know the difference between Harold Wood and Harold Green.

You’ve watched Channel U.


You know you're from essex when you say words like....

INIT- Isn't it.

EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."

EJOG - A small, spiky animal (hedgehog).

FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off wiv fingy last night."

FONG - Skimpy undergarment.

HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.

ALRITE DARLING - Hello miss

LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.

MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park.

PACIFIC - Specific.

ROOFLESS - Without compassion.

SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.

WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."

WELFIE- Rich.

SAFF - South.


FARRRRRRK OOUFF - Go away!

GAF- House

WEBBATS - Querying the location.

CORT A PANDA - A rather large hamburger

AWSS- Horse

BRANNA - 'Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?'


...but we're still proud!

 

Stood behind Jodie Marsh in Wet n Wild in Florida...............Never seen so much Cellulite

 

 

 

lol busy then Frayz lol

 

You go on holiday to Kavos or the like and see the same people as home.

YES!!!! That actually happened to me!!! In Kavos.... I'll get my coat!

 

It still is!



Southend Pier - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

OK then mate, who's going to admit how many of those you found yourself agreeing with?

 

LOL - yes, I too have been to Kavos

And although from Essex - I don't drink wine, nor dance round a handbag OR own white stilletoes to wear with jogging pants!!! Guess I'm classy after all LMFAO

 

Focus with tinted windows





Guess I have lived in Essex too long then, might have to go back to East London

 

old fav places. that are no more..

hollywoods romford.

dolphin swimming pool romford.

celler bar south street romford. Oppsite 'boys from rathbone' shop

ilford palladium.

jakes burger bar seven kings (square burgers)

kings nightclub seven kings.

Palms hotel on a friday night

hornchurch car drome skateboard park.

 

old places I knew that are no more:

The massive cinema in Maldon...

Maldon Bus Station...

The little steam train down the prom in Maldon...

The Roller Rink at the Prom in Maldon

The Pedal Go kart track at the Prom!!!!

The Crown Pub on Broad Street Green (Sunday night pool sessions)

The old Maldon railway viaduct that was blown up (watching Eddie Kidd jump it!)

Never guess where I grew up!

 

You pronounce Dagenham 'Dagnam' or just "NAAAM"

lol, went out with a girl who said she was from dag-arn-ham. took me ages to figure it out without looking dim, she pronounced it exactly that way
according to your list i am a sort of essex/kent hybrid

 

My favourite on here is the letter Haitch a real bug bear of mine even the kid's in school are taught to pronounce it that way

 

The Crown Pub on Broad Street Green (Sunday night pool sessions)

Had many a good night down there, along with the Mill Beach, which i think is still there

 

Blue water is full of posh shops though

 

The Mill Beach PUB lol I was sat at the bar having a quite drink with a mate and our girlfriends (just left school), someone decided to smash a bottle over my mates head and it kicked off like a scene from a western!!!!

Ended up with a slashed hand from a stanley knife and a chunk out of my ear!!!!!

Happy days

 

that has got to be the funniest god damn thing ive ever seen and the sad fact is that 99% of that is true lol especially the bit about bus drivers lol as i am one haha

 

Yeah mate, used to race models cars behind BAC windows too

 

Sounds like the night i was there when Marky taylor from Tiptree bottled some bloke outside against the car i was sitting in Might of even been the same night!!

 

Used to to go to upminster buggy club just off the 127 upminster turning.

 

Never found out who it was that did it.....

Laugh about it now!!