MAJOR EARTHQUAKE MEASURING 3 ON THE RICHTER SCALE, HIT ON MONDAY 21st OCTOBER 2002. IT EPICENTERED ON MILES PLATTING, MANCHESTER.

Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering : "Sorted","Top" and "Arr Kid".

The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth
of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged. Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.

Many were woken well before their giro arrived.

Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Manchester.

One resident, Donna-Marie Dutton, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little Chantal-Leanne came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha this morning."

Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.

The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken masses. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

* HOW YOU CAN HELP?

This appeal is to raise clothing and food parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in it.

Clothing is most sought after. Items required include: -
Baseball caps
Henry Lloyd Jackets
Lacoste Shirts/Trousers (Male)
Shell Suits (Female)
Rockport Boots.

Food parcels may be harder to put together but necessary all the same. equired foodstuffs include: -
Hollands Pies
Black Peas
Tripe and Onions
'Pigs Blood Pud'
Boddys Bitter

£2 buys chips, scraps and blue pop for a family of four.
£10 can take a family to Salford for the day, where children can play on an unspoiled canal bank among the national collection of stinging nettles.
22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim.

Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of "posh" housing is unfair on the population of neighbouring areas of Newton Heath and Moss side

 

Apologies for posting twice...don't know what went wrong???