Having kids....*wow* thats a scary thought.
09 January 2003, 09:53 AM
#1
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Maybe its an age thing,but more and more i've been thinking of do/dont i want kids in the future.I have a niece who i think the world of,but having your own,....wow,thats scary......are they really worth it?...
09 January 2003, 09:59 AM
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Of course it's worth it. It's not something you should consider an easy ride, but when the child looks at you and tells you they love you, it's lovely.
Don't have kids for the sake of having kids. It's an experience, I can tell you!!
Don't have kids for the sake of having kids. It's an experience, I can tell you!!
09 January 2003, 10:14 AM
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I have two daughters and another due in August, so must be fond of em!
You'll hear nothing but complaints about kids, even from me, they cost money (tho only as much as you can afford, or every penny you can afford
) and are a pain most of the time, but those moments when it's all worth it, it's *really* worth it!
Ian
You'll hear nothing but complaints about kids, even from me, they cost money (tho only as much as you can afford, or every penny you can afford
) and are a pain most of the time, but those moments when it's all worth it, it's *really* worth it!Ian
09 January 2003, 10:17 AM
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This sums it up really:
__________________________
I have seen repeatedly the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's, well, nice.
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child
from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the money we could have banked if not for (insert your child's name here).
For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.
But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into
$8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be "rich". It is just the opposite.
What do your get for your $160,140?
Naming rights. First, middle, and last! Glimpses of God every day.
Giggles under the covers every night. More love than your heart can hold.
Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds,and warm cookies. A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain. Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek,catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to keep: reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars.
You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for retrieving a frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step,first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel.
You get to be immortal.
You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.
You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications,and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them
forever,and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.
Ian.
__________________________
I have seen repeatedly the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's, well, nice.
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child
from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, that figure leads to wild fantasies about all the money we could have banked if not for (insert your child's name here).
For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.
But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into
$8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be "rich". It is just the opposite.
What do your get for your $160,140?
Naming rights. First, middle, and last! Glimpses of God every day.
Giggles under the covers every night. More love than your heart can hold.
Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds,and warm cookies. A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain. Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek,catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to keep: reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars.
You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for retrieving a frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step,first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel.
You get to be immortal.
You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.
You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications,and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them
forever,and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.
Ian.
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09 January 2003, 10:22 AM
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Just had our first a few months ago. It's incredible how much time she takes up. They need constant attention and you'll lose a load of sleep.... BUT...it is worth it just to see her smile. I wouldn't change anything.
....
09 January 2003, 10:29 AM
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Cost is one of the greatest considerations, but if you waited until you thought you could afford them, you'd be in your 50s and it would be too late!! (Well, for most women anyway.)
You'd find the money if it happened, you don't necessarily save for them!!
You'd find the money if it happened, you don't necessarily save for them!!
09 January 2003, 10:42 AM
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If in doubt, babysit (with sleepover)... Friends/family are normally only too happy to offload their offspring for a night or two. If you can't handle a child for that long you shouldn't have them. 
09 January 2003, 10:50 AM
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Think you're wrong there swan (sorry), you'd definitely find it harder work with someone else's child. At least with your own, you can set the ground rules from a young age. Even after having Hollie, I found it difficult having someone else's child over to stay.
09 January 2003, 11:02 AM
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It does change your life a fair bit. You have less time to yourself and your priorities change... ie.. instead of fitting the decat downpipe on Saturday afternoon you'll find yourself wandering around mothercare 
We were fortunate that a some of our friends also had kids this year so we're all in the same boat. If you have someone nearby that can babysit for you it's a lot easier to keep your social life too.
We were fortunate that a some of our friends also had kids this year so we're all in the same boat. If you have someone nearby that can babysit for you it's a lot easier to keep your social life too.
09 January 2003, 11:21 AM
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Only thing I found it changed socially was not being able to go to the cinema and having a nice meal with the wife.
Which I really liked doing.
So now we have a home cinema setup and order takeout.
It not so much a forced change as an adaptation really.
But well worth it
Which I really liked doing.
So now we have a home cinema setup and order takeout.
It not so much a forced change as an adaptation really.
But well worth it
09 January 2003, 11:26 AM
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lol, we did the same.
People asked why we bought a 43" TV, simple, we don't go to the cinema as much as we used to, but we buy more DVD's. Life changes, but not for the worse.
People asked why we bought a 43" TV, simple, we don't go to the cinema as much as we used to, but we buy more DVD's. Life changes, but not for the worse.
09 January 2003, 01:25 PM
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Worth every penny. Nothing better than coming home from a bad day at work to a big hug. Snuggling up on a winters day on the settee watching Toy Story with a big bag of popcorn... smiling when they sing along to Nickleback in the back of the car (8 and 9 year old girls), laughing at the look of horror on your wifes face when they declare they want scalextric and so on and so on.
They don't have to change your life. It helps if you live near your family. We have 18 relatives in our home town, including, brothers, both sets of parents, grandparents, uncles aunts and cousins.
As a result we have paid for a sitter twice in 9 years. So our social life has really not been impacted at all.
Bottom line is you just take your kids and find kid friendly restaurants. Don't get them into strict routines and then they are flexible.
Finally my 8 year old gets a kick out of getting and opening my bottles of beer for me. Long may child slavery continue.
Dave
They don't have to change your life. It helps if you live near your family. We have 18 relatives in our home town, including, brothers, both sets of parents, grandparents, uncles aunts and cousins.
As a result we have paid for a sitter twice in 9 years. So our social life has really not been impacted at all.
Bottom line is you just take your kids and find kid friendly restaurants. Don't get them into strict routines and then they are flexible.
Finally my 8 year old gets a kick out of getting and opening my bottles of beer for me. Long may child slavery continue.
Dave
09 January 2003, 08:01 PM
#27
I have 3 lads aged 7,5 and 3, bugger all money and a people carrier, the house is like a boimb site most of the time, they drive me mental whinging, moaning, mithering but all in all its worth it.
09 January 2003, 11:08 PM
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I dont want to sound harsh but think very carefully!
Once you have one that is it!
Most of my mates deeply regret having kids there life has stoped and the kids cost them so much money they have no life of there own,they are either not allowed out or they do not have any money due to the kid or kids.
If the relationship does not work out and they split up they end up paying bewteen £500-£700 per month on a kid they see 1 weekend out of 2.
Things always start off fine then normally it all goes pear shaped and it always leads to so much trouble and unhappyness.
If you intend to have a child make sure you are fully prepared for all the consequences that go with it,it aint something to be taken lightly.
For some people having one is the best thing that has ever happened to them and they live for there kids but they are fully prepared to give up everything.
Have you ever questioned why there are so many single mums and so many divorces?
What has happened to all your mates? are they happy in the long run?none of mine are.
JIM
Once you have one that is it!
Most of my mates deeply regret having kids there life has stoped and the kids cost them so much money they have no life of there own,they are either not allowed out or they do not have any money due to the kid or kids.
If the relationship does not work out and they split up they end up paying bewteen £500-£700 per month on a kid they see 1 weekend out of 2.
Things always start off fine then normally it all goes pear shaped and it always leads to so much trouble and unhappyness.
If you intend to have a child make sure you are fully prepared for all the consequences that go with it,it aint something to be taken lightly.
For some people having one is the best thing that has ever happened to them and they live for there kids but they are fully prepared to give up everything.
Have you ever questioned why there are so many single mums and so many divorces?
What has happened to all your mates? are they happy in the long run?none of mine are.
JIM
09 January 2003, 11:44 PM
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It's not so much having kids is good or not, but whether the time is right.
I'd've hated to have kids up to now, and don't really want kids for another fair few years yet but in a few year I probably will.
The other thing (a big one) is having kids with the right person. If you've found the right person and the times right it's probably a good thing to do.
If the partner or timing is not right then it's probably best to wait.
I'd've hated to have kids up to now, and don't really want kids for another fair few years yet but in a few year I probably will.
The other thing (a big one) is having kids with the right person. If you've found the right person and the times right it's probably a good thing to do.
If the partner or timing is not right then it's probably best to wait.
09 January 2003, 11:56 PM
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I'll add a minus point here!
I'd be mortified if I found out I was going to become a dad!
I can barely look after myself, and never seem to have much(spare) money despite earning way over the national average wage.
There's nothing better (for me) than just doing exactly what I want, buying what I want, and just fooking off for 2wks around the country to visit friends, family, etc. without a care in the world.
My mates have young kids and I love spoiling them, but that's plenty!
And no, I'm not 18!
Kids? SHUDDER
I'd be mortified if I found out I was going to become a dad!
I can barely look after myself, and never seem to have much(spare) money despite earning way over the national average wage.
There's nothing better (for me) than just doing exactly what I want, buying what I want, and just fooking off for 2wks around the country to visit friends, family, etc. without a care in the world.
My mates have young kids and I love spoiling them, but that's plenty!
And no, I'm not 18!
Kids? SHUDDER