**Girl problems** - Any advice to help or just make me feel better?!
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06 March 2003, 11:23 AM
#4
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With Popeye on this one, as hard as the decision seems - if you've reached the verdict you have then she isn't the one for you.
I would have thought (although quite willing to be corrected) that you would stand more chance of starting your career in London than Edinburgh, so if you feel strongly enough then don't let that stop you.
As far as not being ready for commitment, why not rent somewhere - there's not much commitment there.
I would have thought (although quite willing to be corrected) that you would stand more chance of starting your career in London than Edinburgh, so if you feel strongly enough then don't let that stop you.
As far as not being ready for commitment, why not rent somewhere - there's not much commitment there.
06 March 2003, 12:21 PM
#7
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I wouldn't finish with her if you are still in love and enjoy being with each other. You haven't even tried to make a long distance relationship work so you don't know how it will be. Don't sacrifice what is obviously a good realtionship for unknown and untried reasons. Who is to say that you new career isn't going to be in or around where she's living, what's stopping her moving to near where you will be working. Why put a false deadline on your relationship when you haven't even tried to make it work after you complete your course. Unless of course this is your easy way of getting rid of her because you want to move on. If that's the case, tell her straight, show you have a spine.
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06 March 2003, 12:25 PM
#8
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Well, if you are happy at the moment, give the long distance thing a try. Don't just pack it in because you don't think it will work. It will be difficult, as you'd not be able to just 'pop round' to see her, but it could not, not all of them do, but some do. Give it a shot, it's worth it. If it does not work out, well, move on. Hard, but so very very true.
06 March 2003, 12:33 PM
#11
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I was in a long distance relationship, it really got to me so I moved from Edinburgh to Sheffield. Everything is going great, he even proposed on christmas day 
What I'm trying to say is that if you really love each other you shouldn't hesitate to make that commitment and move, otherwise your life will be full of what ifs. I think there is one person that is meant for you for the rest of your life.
Good Luck
Loo
What I'm trying to say is that if you really love each other you shouldn't hesitate to make that commitment and move, otherwise your life will be full of what ifs. I think there is one person that is meant for you for the rest of your life.Good Luck
Loo
06 March 2003, 12:35 PM
#13
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I put up with travelling back and forth between Manchester/Preston and Surrey for nearly a year!!
We were fine together, but I think we grew apart in that time!
With a new career about to start, have you considered starting it in London?
If you don't, you'll find that your weekends will be spent travelling (or waiting) and you'll lose a whole new potential social life (based where you will work)!
Whether you decide on long distance or to up root your life, it's a tough choice!
Good luck whichever way you choose!
We were fine together, but I think we grew apart in that time!
With a new career about to start, have you considered starting it in London?
If you don't, you'll find that your weekends will be spent travelling (or waiting) and you'll lose a whole new potential social life (based where you will work)!
Whether you decide on long distance or to up root your life, it's a tough choice!
Good luck whichever way you choose!
06 March 2003, 12:54 PM
#14
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Sorry, but if you really did love one another, you would not be contemplating ending it.
I met a Dutch girl living in this country early on in my career. She moved back to Holland for about 6 months, and the relationship became "long distance", but we stuck with it, have been together over 9 years, and are now married.
I met a Dutch girl living in this country early on in my career. She moved back to Holland for about 6 months, and the relationship became "long distance", but we stuck with it, have been together over 9 years, and are now married.
06 March 2003, 12:57 PM
#15
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I've done the long distance relationship thing, I was in London with my girlfriend in Glasgow. All I will say is it can work, it did with me. And the thinking about her all the time was no real problem, as we found absense really did make our hearts grow fonder, when we got together it was great. Made me appreciate the time we had together more too, we weren't bickering about the mundain things, we just concentrated on having good fun together in the time we had. We would try and squeeze in all what we missed in the previous 3/4 weeks. We could talk everyday on the phone or via the internnet during our time apart, so we always knew what each other was upto and how they were.
I didn't mean to sound like I was having a pop at you in my earlier post, but you really haven't got anything to lose by giving your relationship a chance. What is the worse that can happen? you'll break up? Well you were already going to do that anyway, might aswell try and keep hold of her if you can.
I didn't mean to sound like I was having a pop at you in my earlier post, but you really haven't got anything to lose by giving your relationship a chance. What is the worse that can happen? you'll break up? Well you were already going to do that anyway, might aswell try and keep hold of her if you can.
06 March 2003, 01:04 PM
#16
Some of the best relationships start when people meet early in their life. You may want to bin her and play around for a few years, I can't blame you but I'm in an office where most are 30 somethings and are looking for the 'one', and they are now panicing that they'll never meet them. They have had short term relationships and now carry the battlescars and emotional baggage so they now have natural distrust built in. This hampers any new ventures.
If you've found the one now then don't throw it away easily IMHO.
F
If you've found the one now then don't throw it away easily IMHO.
F
06 March 2003, 01:14 PM
#17
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If you really love each other and want to be together then I wouldn't split up. I'm miserable just now to be honest. I've got lots of great mates, I'm young with a fast car that people comment on (in a good way) in the street, got an ace flat-mate and a secure, got lots of activities in my life (whole month ahead is booked up!!). Young, free and single and all that but I'd give it all up for the love of a good women.
You can have all the best things in the world (money, career, cars, whatever) and still be miserable when you climb into bed at night knowing there isn't someone (be it next to you or X miles away) who loves you to bits. Similarly, you can climb into bed (or a cardboard box) with not a penny in the world but be the happiest guy alive if you truly are in love with someone.
I wouldn't give that up, no way
You can have all the best things in the world (money, career, cars, whatever) and still be miserable when you climb into bed at night knowing there isn't someone (be it next to you or X miles away) who loves you to bits. Similarly, you can climb into bed (or a cardboard box) with not a penny in the world but be the happiest guy alive if you truly are in love with someone.
I wouldn't give that up, no way
06 March 2003, 01:34 PM
#21
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Agreed... if you reckon it's got as far as love, then stick with it Kosy
What are you both doing post grad? Any options for somebody to go closer to the other? The distance is big to move away from home, your family, your friends etc but better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all IMHO.
Chris.
What are you both doing post grad? Any options for somebody to go closer to the other? The distance is big to move away from home, your family, your friends etc but better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all IMHO.
Chris.
06 March 2003, 09:18 PM
#23
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Did somebody talk about long-distance relationships? I thought I read it somewhere, but couldn't see the long distance?
Over the last nine years...
I had a girlfriend in Sussex. I got a job in Moscow. Came back from Moscow and got a job in Brussels.
Got a girlfriend in Brussels and got a job in Mongolia.
Got a girlfriend in Mongolia, I moved back to Moscow again. Meanwhile she moved to America.
From Moscow I moved to Sussex, then after 18 months, to Portugal.
She came from America to join me in Portugal, we married, and we are now very happily living together.
There is a LOT more to it than that - I lost count of the number of times we split up as it didn't seem worth continuing - but hey, London and Edinburgh - well, when I look at my little globe of the world, they're right next to each other!
Good luck mate. One warning; get a good job or an account with OneTel, 'coz your phone bills could be horrendous!
BJH
Over the last nine years...
I had a girlfriend in Sussex. I got a job in Moscow. Came back from Moscow and got a job in Brussels.
Got a girlfriend in Brussels and got a job in Mongolia.
Got a girlfriend in Mongolia, I moved back to Moscow again. Meanwhile she moved to America.
From Moscow I moved to Sussex, then after 18 months, to Portugal.
She came from America to join me in Portugal, we married, and we are now very happily living together.
There is a LOT more to it than that - I lost count of the number of times we split up as it didn't seem worth continuing - but hey, London and Edinburgh - well, when I look at my little globe of the world, they're right next to each other!
Good luck mate. One warning; get a good job or an account with OneTel, 'coz your phone bills could be horrendous!
BJH
06 March 2003, 10:29 PM
#24
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TBH mate. If you're thinking that when she says "ILU" shes false then there aint no future for the pair of you. You'll never trust her the same as you did before, you'll start to resent each other (she'll pick up on your distrust) and it WILL end in tears (and bunny death! )
Better to end it sooner and have happy memories than drag it out and hate her!
2p
Richard (NOT a relationship specialist by any means)
)Better to end it sooner and have happy memories than drag it out and hate her!
2p
Richard (NOT a relationship specialist by any means
)
06 March 2003, 10:39 PM
#25
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i think that if you are asking here then you know the answer. if you are in love and life is great then there is NO way in hell you would just end it.
tellin' it as it is...
steven
tellin' it as it is...
steven
