TelBoy

VII, you went to admirable lengths to avoid mentioning this person was a woman to begin with! Marriage break-ups can be very messy - your wife really was stringing you along all this time wasn't she? Two options - keep fighting on and let this take over your life, or move on/out and do a damage limitation exercise, financially as much as anything. Your choice fella.


[Edited by TelBoy - 9/1/2003 8:00:52 AM]

STi VII

The war of words took place yesterday in front of my children [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]

Some 'person' banged on the front door of my familys home and when my wife opened it they came in and started to row with me in front of my kids and also they brought their 10 year old kid to watch as well.
I asked them, no in fact I told them on several occastions to leave as they had no rights to be there and that they was to stay out of my marraige/family, they refused to go and kept asking me what I was doing in my House! [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] So I phoned 999 and asked the Police to attend and to have this person removed from my matrimonial home. The Police said that as my wife had invited them in and did not want them to leave then there was nothing that they could do [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
This person admitted in front of my wife to previously making nusience phonecalls to my home and just hanging up when I answered whilest also with holding their number, when they knew my wife was there and they made telephone calls to my home and spoke with my wife they did not with hold their number once. When I tried to reason with this person and explain that I thought that something more was going on and I tried to explain my so called 'paranoia' towards them was based on certain material facts and my lack of acceptance of there so called innocent interest in my wife, when I stated why I had reached the conclusions I had they accused me of wanting sympathy and they then went into great lengths to explain that whilest on Holiday somewhere in the UK that their Mother was admitted to hospital with a broken back and that their Father has Atzeimers (last time it was angina)
My question for Scoobynetters is, if your mother had been admitted to Hospital with a broken back and your father was with her who had atzeimers would you really be bothered to go round to your 'friends' house to argue with their other half about why they was there to see their kids?
Also while her Mother is in Hospital with a broken back, this person admitted that they decided to pick some guy up in a Pub and have sex with them all afternoon, I suppose this is to counter my claims that they are a Lesbian who is after my wife. Then in conversation with my wife 5 mins later she says she spent a lazy day at home in her PJ's is what this person is!

What I want to achieve is to stop this person coiming within any distance of me, my children or my familys home. I also want to restrain her from contacting me or my children in any way. I can not risk after the performance that was done in front of my children her doing it again. SHE HAD THE CHEEK TO ASK WHAT I WAS DOING IN MY KIDS HOME [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] WHOTF DOSE SHE THINK SHE IS [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]

This person picked the wrong bloke to mess with, poison my wife towards me, shout at me, argue with me, hit or attack me but you dare to expose my kids to any of it and you have lost the war before the first battle is over...
[img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]

Silver-Bullet

Shoot the biatch!

Fatman

Sorry, not a complete answer but... did you know you can get calls with withheld numbers blocked from calling you?

TopBanana

If you're wife's prepared to listen to some freak poision your name, you're probably better off without IMHO.

STi VII

Hi Fatman, this is how I knew that the calls came from her in the first place, as we was receving funny phonecalls for a while so we changed our number. This woman then turned up a few days later and offered to take our new phone number into her and my wifes workplace, even though my wife was going into work the next day and could of done it herself.
Then after a few days the phonecalls with a withheld number started again, so I contacted BT and they informed me of this service that they offer. So the next time I recieved a call and no one spoke to me, but just held the line open, I hung up and entered the code and barred the withheld number. A few days later my wife told me it was this womans number that had been barred and she offered the explanation without prompting by my wife, that she had hung up on me at the same time as I picked up and did not know I was there.
Well yesterday she said that she had wanted to not speak with me when she made these calls and that she wanted to chat to my wife. When I pointed out that if she wanted to speak with my wife all she had to do was check their work rota to see if my wife had a day off, she said "I don't live my life by the rota" I asked her why she had never invited me once into her home and she said because she didn't like me, in fact she had never liked me and that my wife is a special friend to her. I wont go into anymore detail but believe me when I say this person said a few things about their views and behaviour that I have been pointing out to my wife for a while and hopefully now my other half will see this infatuation this woman has got for her. Also now my wife has seen her contracdict herself on many different areas, I am just hoping she will realise that she has been manipulated in a big way by this pathological lier and manipulator.

Freak

Its the protection from harassment act you want- they can speak to them, then caution, then if it carries on then charge and prosecute for it- and conditions can be placed upon conviction etc

Not a direct quote- but you get the jist...

Two occasions of unwanted contact deemed liable to cause distress or offence can be classed as harassment and said person can be prosecuted under the protection from harassment act...

And yes nuisance calls count.

Speak to the local plod about it.

pugoetru

yes but if the police dont attend what chance have you got?

our neibour is an idiot complains about everything he came to the door one night shouting about graffiti on his wall

blamed my kids but they were with me my wife phoned the police they didnt even bother coming!

i went up to cop shop and complained they said they had no record of call total *****

TelBoy

I'm surprised he hasn't complained about the constant stream of strangers coming and going from your front door pugoetru, from what i've read..!

red_dog104

Bunny boiler!! Why is your wife listening to her? I'm a little confused. Sorry if i've misread or misunderstood but are you and your wife still together or seperated? Is your wife having a 'thing' with this woman or what?

DRUNKNORGY

Hmm, if your wife invites her in - your buggered.
As I see it, The issue is not with this person, its with your wife. You haven't stated if you're separated. If you are then most likely whatever you say to her will be misinterpreted or read into. If you are still together and able to communicate, get yourself along to Relate (It may not be a Lesbian Relationship and she may see her as a port in a storm).

289

Drunkorgy is right, it's down to your wife. Unless you can demonstrate physical harm to you, your children or your property, the police would find it astonishingly hard to intervene when your wife hasn't made a complaint toback you up. And yes, you could eventually get a restraining order, but that takes time, costs money, and would require you to demonstrate that the person was causing you aggravation on a repeated basis. Think 6 months to get action on that, and then you have to enforce it.

You've previously said that you're divorcing/separating, if I recall. Well, now's the time to think of yourself and your children. If you can show that your wife in in a relationship with a somewhat unstable person, and that your children may be psychologically harmed through this, you may stand a good chance of getting custody, assuming that this is what you want.

Certainly mention it to your solicitor first thing tomorrow.

astraboy

for an easy pop you could go for a Solicitors letter stating that if she comes on your property again she will be forcibly ejected and you will start proceedings against her for harrassment, trespass, mental anguish you name it.
costs around 40 quid, but send recorded delivery and its more effective than you might think.
plus if it does kick off then you can show the letter to the police and once again, doesent do any harm to your case against her.
astraboy.

289

AB

S'okay if the wife's behind it, but if she's not then such a letter would be worthless (though I stand to be corrected on this).

All depends on whether there's a relationship (between Mr and Mrs STi VII) which is worth saving; from what's been written in the past, I suspect there ain't much of one left, in which case it's sort of irrelevant what happens with this 3rd party; I'd be more concerned with the kids than the potential future partner. Inevitably there will be one at some point, which will always be hard to deal with.

scoobynutta555

Im very confused as to what this is all about. Can you please write out the specific facts in a chronological order showing whats been done to whom and what your relationship is to them.

Not having a go, but what you have written isnt very understandable.

Bullet points with spaces between each fact would be a bonus

vindaloo

Talk calmly (as is H possible) about it with your wife. Make the points you've made here regarding subjecting your kids to it if you feel matters are going well.

I don't understand why this woman would do this is she works with your wife (or was that a pretext?). Surely they'd be able to have a chat in the office or she could pop into the office when she knew your wife would be there.

It all sounds a bit desperate. It's more likely she's coming off drugs or someone's beating the sh*t out of her than she wants to sh*g your wife.

Vindaloo.