Divorce - How much would it cost me ?
10 December 2003, 04:37 PM
#1
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Right - cars in need of some modding and I'm sick of being told WE'VE no money cause she's been out shopping - again !
I'm 33 with a reasonably paid job and (heres the expensive bit) 2 kids under 4 yrs old.
We've enough posative equity in the house to sell up and buy 2 reasonable sized houses in a cheaper area.
What would I expect to pay in maintainace on say £25k a year wage ? and what other factor do they (CSA) take into account ?
May not go through with it
but a bit of ammo never hurts 
Chris - Who's hoping She's not logged on
Or maybe I am
I'm 33 with a reasonably paid job and (heres the expensive bit) 2 kids under 4 yrs old.
We've enough posative equity in the house to sell up and buy 2 reasonable sized houses in a cheaper area.
What would I expect to pay in maintainace on say £25k a year wage ? and what other factor do they (CSA) take into account ?
May not go through with it
but a bit of ammo never hurts Chris - Who's hoping She's not logged on
Or maybe I am
10 December 2003, 04:59 PM
#3
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If you have two kids mate you're gonna get shafted for cash....Your wife will be entitled to roughly 20% of your net income for child maintainance and you can forget about you getting a house. The kids will more than likely stay with mother and she is the one that needs a house. You will poss have to settle for something a little smaller.....
Another thing, she will be able to kick you out of the house when the divorce is through, but to do so she will have to pay you off. That could be as much as 50% of the equity in the house (if she can afford it) but more likely 30 - 40%.... But and this is the killer.... she will have to provide a financial statement of her needs (incl the kids) and any shortfall from your 20% payment and her own income will have to be made up by you. And then there's your pension......
My advise mate.....see a solicitor abd get a good one who practices family law...
How do I know all this.....Cos I'm right in the middle of it myself right now........ good luck.... Choose wisely
Another thing, she will be able to kick you out of the house when the divorce is through, but to do so she will have to pay you off. That could be as much as 50% of the equity in the house (if she can afford it) but more likely 30 - 40%.... But and this is the killer.... she will have to provide a financial statement of her needs (incl the kids) and any shortfall from your 20% payment and her own income will have to be made up by you. And then there's your pension......
My advise mate.....see a solicitor abd get a good one who practices family law...
How do I know all this.....Cos I'm right in the middle of it myself right now........ good luck.... Choose wisely
10 December 2003, 05:04 PM
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Matt - Not serious yet - just considering my options
Tomsy - If I were to sell our current house it would leave enough to buy 2 houses in a cheaper area.
Would she be able to stop me selling the original house if I offered a morgage free alternative ?
Chris
P.S. 20 % is tempting -he earns similar to me so won't be ableto claim "extra's"
Tomsy - If I were to sell our current house it would leave enough to buy 2 houses in a cheaper area.
Would she be able to stop me selling the original house if I offered a morgage free alternative ?
Chris
P.S. 20 % is tempting
-he earns similar to me so won't be ableto claim "extra's"
10 December 2003, 05:11 PM
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Just watch her mate - she will screw you guaranteed and with the kiddies involved she WILL get a handsome payoff.
Better to plan it well in advance and start shifting cash / equities "around"
Alternatively you could be really cunning and suggest you move, find a house where the chain stops - then just as you are about to exchange say something really dodgy has shown up on the survey and you're pulling out of buying. But as you're an honest guy you dont want to affect everyone else in the chain so you'll rent somewhere until you find your dream house (ie without her!!)
Better to plan it well in advance and start shifting cash / equities "around"
Alternatively you could be really cunning and suggest you move, find a house where the chain stops - then just as you are about to exchange say something really dodgy has shown up on the survey and you're pulling out of buying. But as you're an honest guy you dont want to affect everyone else in the chain so you'll rent somewhere until you find your dream house (ie without her!!)
10 December 2003, 05:19 PM
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I dont think she could stop you selling the house but she would be due a share of the proceeds
a friend of mine is divorced pays £400 a month for his 2 kids only earns 1k a month
you could find yourself worse off
a friend of mine is divorced pays £400 a month for his 2 kids only earns 1k a month
you could find yourself worse off
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10 December 2003, 05:26 PM
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If she didnt want to move and she could afford to pay you off with the current house then she can say no too moving. The biggest issue here and always will be is the kids well being. The courts are only interested in if the kids are gonna be OK.
I'm afraid when it comes to divorce, when kids are involved the men have very few choices. And if you forced her (even by deception) into doing something that she didnt want to do she could make your life very hard.... Including access to your children...
I am no expert, just going through the process myself, My advise is to see a family law solicitor.... and good luck
I'm afraid when it comes to divorce, when kids are involved the men have very few choices. And if you forced her (even by deception) into doing something that she didnt want to do she could make your life very hard.... Including access to your children...
I am no expert, just going through the process myself, My advise is to see a family law solicitor.... and good luck
11 December 2003, 08:54 AM
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Tomsy - Thanks for the advise.
LMAO @ Scooby 96
Surprisingly she was a changed woman last night (she must be on here) and has promised to curtail her spending ways .
I'm not seriously considering divorce - well not yet anyway -Think I'll wait till the kids R 16 then trade her in for a younger model and a STI 26
Chris
LMAO @ Scooby 96
Surprisingly she was a changed woman last night (she must be on here) and has promised to curtail her spending ways
.I'm not seriously considering divorce - well not yet anyway -Think I'll wait till the kids R 16 then trade her in for a younger model and a STI 26
Chris
11 December 2003, 09:23 AM
#10
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No advice really but a rather shocking settlement for someone I know.
He has just split with his wife, their 11 year old son demanded he stay with his dad. They have two houses and one overseas.
He's got to pay £2000 a month which will go up in line with inflation. He has the son to look after and he gets the cheaper house where she gets the big one and the holiday home.
Also, he may inherit a substantial amount of money in the next few years and she may be able to have a slice of that too.
I've got a 2 year old daughter but my GF and I are not married and I have no intention of doing so - ever!
He has just split with his wife, their 11 year old son demanded he stay with his dad. They have two houses and one overseas.
He's got to pay £2000 a month which will go up in line with inflation. He has the son to look after and he gets the cheaper house where she gets the big one and the holiday home.
Also, he may inherit a substantial amount of money in the next few years and she may be able to have a slice of that too.
I've got a 2 year old daughter but my GF and I are not married and I have no intention of doing so - ever!
11 December 2003, 09:40 AM
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A mate of mine is going through a divorce at the moment, they have 2 kids both under 10 years old.
He has been told by his solicitor that his wife has the right to remain in the house while the kids are getting full-time education. This is the crunch bit though.... he has also been told he still has to pay the mortgage and that the courts can make him sign over his half of the house to her, this half will revert back to him, when both have left school and only then can the house be sold.
[Edited by Redkop - 12/11/2003 9:42:21 AM]
He has been told by his solicitor that his wife has the right to remain in the house while the kids are getting full-time education. This is the crunch bit though.... he has also been told he still has to pay the mortgage and that the courts can make him sign over his half of the house to her, this half will revert back to him, when both have left school and only then can the house be sold.
[Edited by Redkop - 12/11/2003 9:42:21 AM]
11 December 2003, 10:03 AM
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WTF!!!!! what would happen if you refused to pay some stupid figures that the courts tell you to pay, I mean how can they tell u to pay the morgage on the house yet u cant live there and you'd have to give money over every month meaning you cant get a place of your own, the law is screwed up. fair play the kids have to be well looked after but sometimes it takes the pi55, What would happen is some1 said no I aint paying this much they cant make u, whats the worse they can do lock u up? least youd have somewhere to live
11 December 2003, 10:42 AM
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Davegtt
The law isn't totally screwed up. The fact is that a lot of people decide to start, then end relationships, without thinking of the consequences.
Kids need support, and it's unfair to make them leave the house just because you can't live with your wife any more. If you're the main wage earner, then obviously you have to continue to support the household.
Where I think the situation needs to be reviwed is with regard to paternal access and custody; I have a couple of kids who are both at school and they're looked after equally - we both work full time.
Should the divorce question ever arise, I'd imagine the courts would determine that their mother should have custody, though based on what grounds I can't imagine. Custom and practice at the moment suggests that I'd have to show the mother to be unfit to reverse the automatic maternal custody, which seems to me grossly unreasonable.
The law isn't totally screwed up. The fact is that a lot of people decide to start, then end relationships, without thinking of the consequences.
Kids need support, and it's unfair to make them leave the house just because you can't live with your wife any more. If you're the main wage earner, then obviously you have to continue to support the household.
Where I think the situation needs to be reviwed is with regard to paternal access and custody; I have a couple of kids who are both at school and they're looked after equally - we both work full time.
Should the divorce question ever arise, I'd imagine the courts would determine that their mother should have custody, though based on what grounds I can't imagine. Custom and practice at the moment suggests that I'd have to show the mother to be unfit to reverse the automatic maternal custody, which seems to me grossly unreasonable.
11 December 2003, 10:55 AM
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Dave you don't have a choice, they take it direct from your employer! You never see it, you just get whats left in your pay packet.
Hence when my ex tried taking me for everything I told her quite clearly that if she pursued that line of ******* me up I would quit my job and live in the gutter and I would get no benefits etc due to me quitting my job and then she wouldn't get a penny off me as she can't have what I don't have. I was 100% serious and it showed.
Hence when my ex tried taking me for everything I told her quite clearly that if she pursued that line of ******* me up I would quit my job and live in the gutter and I would get no benefits etc due to me quitting my job and then she wouldn't get a penny off me as she can't have what I don't have. I was 100% serious and it showed.
11 December 2003, 11:05 AM
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Good luck to the ladies... I know a girl who got married to a wealthy man...why?? so she can have the kids she wants then screw him in court .Take the money and live the real life she wants!!!
Poor bugger.
best thing is to Kill the wife and dump the kids off at Barnados. take the money to Thailand and get well happy for the rest of you life.
[Edited by Luke - 12/11/2003 11:06:38 AM]
Poor bugger.
best thing is to Kill the wife and dump the kids off at Barnados. take the money to Thailand and get well happy for the rest of you life.
[Edited by Luke - 12/11/2003 11:06:38 AM]
11 December 2003, 12:53 PM
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Kids are an issue all of their own.
But in this day of equality, where both partners are working, no kids, it's ludicrous that a man can lose half his estate to someone he's only known a year or two.
There's the law, and then there's justice. Not the same thing.
But in this day of equality, where both partners are working, no kids, it's ludicrous that a man can lose half his estate to someone he's only known a year or two.
There's the law, and then there's justice. Not the same thing.
11 December 2003, 01:26 PM
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David,
It worked the other way for a mate of mine !
She earned double what he got, he moved into her house a few grand in debt, left a couple of years later a well off man.
There's always an exception to the rule I suppose
It worked the other way for a mate of mine !
She earned double what he got, he moved into her house a few grand in debt, left a couple of years later a well off man.
There's always an exception to the rule I suppose
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