THE FUNNY ONES
29 December 2003, 09:17 PM
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Difficult to say I think as there are lots of different era's to consider.
I dont find any of the new generation that funny though.
I suppose Ken Dodd must be up there with them.
chip.
I dont find any of the new generation that funny though.
I suppose Ken Dodd must be up there with them.
chip.
29 December 2003, 09:19 PM
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If dennis norden appears lock this post immediately
Have to agree, no new ones are funny, its all the older ones.
Have to admit as well think Bernard Manning is hysterical
Have to agree, no new ones are funny, its all the older ones.
Have to admit as well think Bernard Manning is hysterical
29 December 2003, 09:21 PM
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Billy Connely(sp)
'We were so poor when we were kids, that my Mum used to take us to the pet shop, and tell us it was the Zoo'. Class......
'We were so poor when we were kids, that my Mum used to take us to the pet shop, and tell us it was the Zoo'. Class......
29 December 2003, 09:27 PM
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During a performance one evening, comedian Billy Connolly was interrupted by an obnoxious heckler. Fortunately, Connolly had a ready reply: "When they put teeth in your mouth," he declared, "they spoiled a perfectly good bum!"
Could be good on this site LOL
Could be good on this site LOL
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29 December 2003, 09:40 PM
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The best sketch ever (official) was the two ronnies.
Its set in hardware shop.
Guy comes in asks for four candles - shopkeeper climbs up gets them, passes them to customer.
Customer says no - fork andles - handles for forks.
And so the sketch goes on.
Its set in hardware shop.
Guy comes in asks for four candles - shopkeeper climbs up gets them, passes them to customer.
Customer says no - fork andles - handles for forks.
And so the sketch goes on.
The Big Yin is hard to beat.. but how about Dennis Leary? He was great.
30 December 2003, 03:48 PM
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Bill Hicks - Class:
No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs, I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth- I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my *** off, and went about my day. Sorry.
I just cannot, you know, believe in a war against drugs when they've got anti-drug commercials on TV all day long, followed by, "This Bud's for you." I got news for you, folks. A-1, alcohol is a drug, and B-2, and here's the real one, alcohol kills more people than crack, coke and heroin ... combined each year.
Pot is a better drug than alcohol - fact, and I'll prove it. You're at a ballgame, you're at a concert, someone's really violent, aggressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot? (Audience) Drunk! The one and only correct answer, tell them what they've won, Johnny!
...cigarettes legal, alcohol legal, kill more people than all illegal drugs combined times one thousand, they are legal. Marijuana, a drug that kills...um...no one, and let's put in a time frame: ever, is illegal.
Isn't it interesting how cigarettes and alcohol, the two drugs that do NOTHING for you, are legal, while pot and mushrooms,two drugs that open your eyes to how you're being f-cked every day, are illegal. Isn't it interesting? I'm sure they have our best interests at heart...
No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs, I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth- I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my *** off, and went about my day. Sorry.
I just cannot, you know, believe in a war against drugs when they've got anti-drug commercials on TV all day long, followed by, "This Bud's for you." I got news for you, folks. A-1, alcohol is a drug, and B-2, and here's the real one, alcohol kills more people than crack, coke and heroin ... combined each year.
Pot is a better drug than alcohol - fact, and I'll prove it. You're at a ballgame, you're at a concert, someone's really violent, aggressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot? (Audience) Drunk! The one and only correct answer, tell them what they've won, Johnny!
...cigarettes legal, alcohol legal, kill more people than all illegal drugs combined times one thousand, they are legal. Marijuana, a drug that kills...um...no one, and let's put in a time frame: ever, is illegal.
Isn't it interesting how cigarettes and alcohol, the two drugs that do NOTHING for you, are legal, while pot and mushrooms,two drugs that open your eyes to how you're being f-cked every day, are illegal. Isn't it interesting? I'm sure they have our best interests at heart...
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