scoobynet 10 commandments
29 December 2003, 11:52 PM
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The ten commandments
1. Thou shalt not read thy paper on company time, lest thy employer make it impossible to continue thy car payments.
2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's car nor his garage, nor his battery charger.
3. Thou shalt not store thy car out-of-doors except for the wife's Toyota.
4. Thou shalt not deceive thy wife into thinking that thee is taking her for a romantic Sunday drive when indeed thou art going out to look at another car.
5. Thou shalt not love thy cars more than thy wife and children.
6. Thou shalt not despise thy neighbour's Skoda, nor his Lada, nor even his 74 Capri.
7. Thou shalt not tell thy spouse the entire cost of thy latest restoration, at least not all at the same time.
8. Thou shalt not promise thy wife a new addition for the house and then use it to store cars.
9. Thou shalt not allow thy sons and daughters to get married during the car show season.
10. Thou shalt not buy thy wife a floor jack for Christmas.
1. Thou shalt not read thy paper on company time, lest thy employer make it impossible to continue thy car payments.
2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's car nor his garage, nor his battery charger.
3. Thou shalt not store thy car out-of-doors except for the wife's Toyota.
4. Thou shalt not deceive thy wife into thinking that thee is taking her for a romantic Sunday drive when indeed thou art going out to look at another car.
5. Thou shalt not love thy cars more than thy wife and children.
6. Thou shalt not despise thy neighbour's Skoda, nor his Lada, nor even his 74 Capri.
7. Thou shalt not tell thy spouse the entire cost of thy latest restoration, at least not all at the same time.
8. Thou shalt not promise thy wife a new addition for the house and then use it to store cars.
9. Thou shalt not allow thy sons and daughters to get married during the car show season.
10. Thou shalt not buy thy wife a floor jack for Christmas.
29 December 2003, 11:57 PM
#2
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SCOOBYNET FOR SALE BIBLE
needs minor work = needs significant work
needs nothing = except a tow truck
easy project car = completely disassembled, bring many boxes
minor rust = don't sit down!
minor rust = major rust you can’t see...
low mileage = only 170,000
convertible = after driving under truck
runs great = too bad it doesn’t roll
alarm = wires are cut to sell stolen
nice stereo = to overcome exhaust noise
needs paint = to cover rust
new paint = beautifully covers rust
fully loaded = seller is too
all options = 8-track player
only 59,000 miles = actually 359,000 miles
rare model = one of 500,000 made
must sell = before the law finds seller
must sell = need bail money
summer fun = roof leaks in winter
summer fun = won't make it to fall
reliable = don't leave the neighborhood
daily driver = 400 miles a day
only driven Sundays = Sunday is race day
engine rebuilt = engine degreased to look it
doesn’t smoke = no oil to burn, or 90wt oil
trans. rebuilt = fine sawdust used to make it quiet
4 speed gearbox = 5th gear is dead
hurry, won't last = neither will car
new tires = retreads years ago
well maintained = oil changed every other leap year
drives like dream = nightmare
car cover = to help keep out rats
always garaged = embarrassed to leave it outside
family owned = driven by 6 teenagers
fully restored = nothing original
smog exempt = DMV doesn't think so
tags till next year = stolen year sticker
moving, must sell = off to jail, need bail money
needs minor work = needs significant work
needs nothing = except a tow truck
easy project car = completely disassembled, bring many boxes
minor rust = don't sit down!
minor rust = major rust you can’t see...
low mileage = only 170,000
convertible = after driving under truck
runs great = too bad it doesn’t roll
alarm = wires are cut to sell stolen
nice stereo = to overcome exhaust noise
needs paint = to cover rust
new paint = beautifully covers rust
fully loaded = seller is too
all options = 8-track player
only 59,000 miles = actually 359,000 miles
rare model = one of 500,000 made
must sell = before the law finds seller
must sell = need bail money
summer fun = roof leaks in winter
summer fun = won't make it to fall
reliable = don't leave the neighborhood
daily driver = 400 miles a day
only driven Sundays = Sunday is race day
engine rebuilt = engine degreased to look it
doesn’t smoke = no oil to burn, or 90wt oil
trans. rebuilt = fine sawdust used to make it quiet
4 speed gearbox = 5th gear is dead
hurry, won't last = neither will car
new tires = retreads years ago
well maintained = oil changed every other leap year
drives like dream = nightmare
car cover = to help keep out rats
always garaged = embarrassed to leave it outside
family owned = driven by 6 teenagers
fully restored = nothing original
smog exempt = DMV doesn't think so
tags till next year = stolen year sticker
moving, must sell = off to jail, need bail money