We have aquired a rodent.
14 March 2004, 06:28 PM
#1
We have aquired a rodent.
Went to the pet shop to look at fish tanks and came out with a bloody Hamster, Hamster was only seven quid but there was thirty od quid of Roto-Stack luxury for it, plus food and bedding, forty something quid, with the add ons you could get for it you could spend hundreds and get it on MTV cribs.
They gave it us in a cardboard box sealed with sellotape, by the time we had got the three miles home it had expanded on of the air-holes enough to poke its head out, beady eyed thing it is, with huge evil yello teeth (more of which later. Anyway gets home with the three kids going mental wanting to 'hold' the hamster and cuddle it, the thing was almost free of the box now so we put it in the Roto-Stack box where it finally got its freedom to be greeted by the bigger box and three eager kids, "me first", "me first", no chance I though, poor little sod isnt going anywhere near those grabbing little hands so I scooped it up ever so gently and spoke gently to it, it curled around looked oh so cute in my palms just before it sunk its evil yellow fangs into my succulent thumb, I yelped and instinctively dropped it, well tried to it was sort of embedded in the fleshy part of my thumb, it got bored and fell a couple of feet onto lino, dropped its breakfast in the form of three poo's and a quantity of milky gunge (apparently Hamster Wee Wee is Milky white, must tell the missus or she will blame me....)
Anyway, managed to scoop it up (less delicately than before) and handle it in the manner of a hot coal before popping it in the top and locking the lid tight down. The only good to come from my bleeding thumb is that the kids have lost their enthusiasm for handling SPG (its name, see the Young Ones circa 1986, Vivian's Hamster)
Now it explored a bit, pooped some more, bedded down and its been asleep ever since, could acheive the same effect with a bit of synthetic fur, a battery, stepper motor and a 555 timer.
Why did I spend half the value of a new dump valve for my car on a useless rodent, it wont make my car any faster (neither will the dump valve I suppose), it doesnt make a whoosh noise and when it pooped I got a hint of what the cage will smell of in a weeks or sos time. They only live a couple of years, ah well
They gave it us in a cardboard box sealed with sellotape, by the time we had got the three miles home it had expanded on of the air-holes enough to poke its head out, beady eyed thing it is, with huge evil yello teeth (more of which later. Anyway gets home with the three kids going mental wanting to 'hold' the hamster and cuddle it, the thing was almost free of the box now so we put it in the Roto-Stack box where it finally got its freedom to be greeted by the bigger box and three eager kids, "me first", "me first", no chance I though, poor little sod isnt going anywhere near those grabbing little hands so I scooped it up ever so gently and spoke gently to it, it curled around looked oh so cute in my palms just before it sunk its evil yellow fangs into my succulent thumb, I yelped and instinctively dropped it, well tried to it was sort of embedded in the fleshy part of my thumb, it got bored and fell a couple of feet onto lino, dropped its breakfast in the form of three poo's and a quantity of milky gunge (apparently Hamster Wee Wee is Milky white, must tell the missus or she will blame me....)
Anyway, managed to scoop it up (less delicately than before) and handle it in the manner of a hot coal before popping it in the top and locking the lid tight down. The only good to come from my bleeding thumb is that the kids have lost their enthusiasm for handling SPG (its name, see the Young Ones circa 1986, Vivian's Hamster)
Now it explored a bit, pooped some more, bedded down and its been asleep ever since, could acheive the same effect with a bit of synthetic fur, a battery, stepper motor and a 555 timer.
Why did I spend half the value of a new dump valve for my car on a useless rodent, it wont make my car any faster (neither will the dump valve I suppose), it doesnt make a whoosh noise and when it pooped I got a hint of what the cage will smell of in a weeks or sos time. They only live a couple of years, ah well
14 March 2004, 08:01 PM
#5
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And when it snuffs it inexplicably next week you have to rush around every pet shop in the County while the kids are out trying to find a clone before the kids get back.....
And when it, or the clone, finally goes to the big wheel in the sky you have to bury the yellowey toothed remains in the garden with 3 days mourning.
And then you move up to the Guinea Pig and then the Rabbit........ T-Shirt anyone??
And when it, or the clone, finally goes to the big wheel in the sky you have to bury the yellowey toothed remains in the garden with 3 days mourning.
And then you move up to the Guinea Pig and then the Rabbit........ T-Shirt anyone??
Last edited by David Lock; 14 March 2004 at 08:58 PM. Reason: Adding Guinea Pig into life cycle..
14 March 2004, 08:05 PM
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Don't put the cage next to curtain if ot has metal bars, the school hamster from my primary school days chewed lovely big hole in the curtains. He also chewed through the base of the cage and escaped on a number of occasions, tho each time he managed to end up in a pot of powder paint.
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14 March 2004, 08:55 PM
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PMSL @ J4CKO
Oh yes mate, many a good evening to be had wondering if that little sniff of the finger whilst holding it will result in to 1/2 pint of blood loss
Both my kids have hamsters, look at this little sod --------->
I have found that washing your hands thoroughly before handling them stops them biting. Dont touch any food or feed them when holding them
You will have to handle them at least for 1/2 hour a day. At first they will go like an STi with FMIC PPP and full de-cat until they "trust"
you.
After a week they will calm down and move more like a 2.0 Sport
................................oh yeah he'll pi55 and **** everywhere during this time and even jump distances comperable to an olympic long jumper but he'll settle down.
If you "HAVE" to wake him up dont stick your fingers in his bed coz he'll ave em. Wait for him to get up and find his way to the cage doorthen while he's just getting out grab him
Oh yes mate, many a good evening to be had wondering if that little sniff of the finger whilst holding it will result in to 1/2 pint of blood loss
Both my kids have hamsters, look at this little sod --------->
I have found that washing your hands thoroughly before handling them stops them biting. Dont touch any food or feed them when holding them
You will have to handle them at least for 1/2 hour a day. At first they will go like an STi with FMIC PPP and full de-cat until they "trust"
you.After a week they will calm down and move more like a 2.0 Sport
................................oh yeah he'll pi55 and **** everywhere during this time and even jump distances comperable to an olympic long jumper but he'll settle down.
If you "HAVE" to wake him up dont stick your fingers in his bed coz he'll ave em. Wait for him to get up and find his way to the cage doorthen while he's just getting out grab him
14 March 2004, 10:27 PM
#10
Its a new form of Russian Roullete !, half an hour of that a day and I will have no fingers left, as for washing my hands, hah, I am going to give my undercarriage a good old scratch to thank it for tasting my finger, in fact if these little furry b4stards were used on 'Im a Celebrity, get me out of here' I am sure that Jordan wouldnt have lasted ten seconds with a face full of angry Hamster (Latin Name, *******us Diminutai)
In fact now its bit me I am fully expecting to be blessed with special Hamster powers, perhaps along the lines of Big fat cheeks, ejecting milky goo and crapping all day.... In fact forget it, Ill never notice any difference.
It came to for an hour or so earlier and tore round its cage, I say tore but it was more of a spirited amble through the tubes, indeed the tubes that dont look of a big enough diameter for the fat little f*cker, It reminds me of the Fat Kid from Charlie and the Chocolate factory when ascending to its 'penthouse'
'Augustus, Augustus Nooooooooooo'
So its slept all day, Had a dump (or 27), ejected some fluid, done minimal exercise (on its wheel) and ate some Bombay Mix, then p1ssed off back to bed, perfect Sunday by anyones standards.
In fact now its bit me I am fully expecting to be blessed with special Hamster powers, perhaps along the lines of Big fat cheeks, ejecting milky goo and crapping all day.... In fact forget it, Ill never notice any difference.
It came to for an hour or so earlier and tore round its cage, I say tore but it was more of a spirited amble through the tubes, indeed the tubes that dont look of a big enough diameter for the fat little f*cker, It reminds me of the Fat Kid from Charlie and the Chocolate factory when ascending to its 'penthouse'
'Augustus, Augustus Nooooooooooo'
So its slept all day, Had a dump (or 27), ejected some fluid, done minimal exercise (on its wheel) and ate some Bombay Mix, then p1ssed off back to bed, perfect Sunday by anyones standards.
14 March 2004, 10:36 PM
#11
'And when it snuffs it inexplicably'
Or perhaps, not so inexplicably, Muhhahahahahahahaha
Only joking, disclaimer for the Scoobynet RSPCA
Lol at the mention of Powder Paint, my uncle was an art teacher and nicked a pot of every colour for us as a kid, the red one left in the shed got wet and left on the floor (shed was condemed) and in this period of heavy rain tured the puddles around the shed livid red, pretty scary really as we were expecting to find a murder victim in there !
Or perhaps, not so inexplicably, Muhhahahahahahahaha
Only joking, disclaimer for the Scoobynet RSPCA
Lol at the mention of Powder Paint, my uncle was an art teacher and nicked a pot of every colour for us as a kid, the red one left in the shed got wet and left on the floor (shed was condemed) and in this period of heavy rain tured the puddles around the shed livid red, pretty scary really as we were expecting to find a murder victim in there !
14 March 2004, 10:46 PM
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Funniest post since the fella with the neighbour writing snotty letter about parking!
You have made my night!
If things get too bad buy a cat and leave the door open by 'accident'.
You have made my night!
If things get too bad buy a cat and leave the door open by 'accident'.
14 March 2004, 11:08 PM
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Hamsters can only see clearly for about 2 inches. They rely on smell. If you don't wash your hands, you smell like raw meat - which you technically are - so they'll eat you.
Females are more aggressive than males. Female hamsters smell more than males - a good reminder to clean out the cage. And cats won't make a difference - I've heard of at least two cats being terrorised by hamsters.
They are truly fascinating animals - and a good way to teach kids that if they have pets, they can't just (expletive) around with them, because they'll bite them stupid.
Expect a male Syrian (big one - the kind that likes to live in Rotostack) to live 18 months, and a female to about 2 years - unless you bought them from a big pet store chain, in which case expect them to snuff it suddenly from a rare disease, usually with great expense from the local vet, at any time. And read a book about them - the RSPCA's guide is helpful.
Don't feed them too much fruit, as they store it in their bedding - where it will ferment. They will eat meat if they can get some - like your fingers. A good mixed proprietary hamster/gerbil food will suffice, at a cost of about £4 per lifetime. Don't give them proper chocolate as this will kill them (same applies to dogs - really). That's pretty much it...
Females are more aggressive than males. Female hamsters smell more than males - a good reminder to clean out the cage. And cats won't make a difference - I've heard of at least two cats being terrorised by hamsters.
They are truly fascinating animals - and a good way to teach kids that if they have pets, they can't just (expletive) around with them, because they'll bite them stupid.
Expect a male Syrian (big one - the kind that likes to live in Rotostack) to live 18 months, and a female to about 2 years - unless you bought them from a big pet store chain, in which case expect them to snuff it suddenly from a rare disease, usually with great expense from the local vet, at any time. And read a book about them - the RSPCA's guide is helpful.
Don't feed them too much fruit, as they store it in their bedding - where it will ferment. They will eat meat if they can get some - like your fingers. A good mixed proprietary hamster/gerbil food will suffice, at a cost of about £4 per lifetime. Don't give them proper chocolate as this will kill them (same applies to dogs - really). That's pretty much it...
14 March 2004, 11:18 PM
#16
lol ive not laughed so much for bloody ages, we have two rats one is a right arsie git and will happily have your finger upto the knuckle for lunch and the other is soft as ****e. pre warn you though dont put anything near it that you dont want to be eaten!! they will eat anything!!! childrens fingers included, and my buggers!
jamo
jamo
14 March 2004, 11:46 PM
#19
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You should count yourself lucky, if they had fooled you into getting a Russian hamster you wouldn't have any fingers left by now.
I had two at uni and they were the most viscious pet I have ever had To get them out the cage I would just stick my hand it, wait for the two little gits to latch on to a finger each and then lift them out. Got used to the pain after a while. Used to terrorise anyone who came round if they were loose on the floor, bare foot was never an option after the first visit unless you wanted your toes bitten off
Currently have 5 rats, they are fine unless you stick your fingers through the cage where they instantly think its food and bite with all their mite Have been caught a couple of occasions when fixing the water bottle on and hell it hurts lol and blood everywhere, once they eventually let go that is
Just think you have at least 2 years of night time noise (the squeaking wheel is the worst!), constant smell (unless you train the hamster to use a jam jar for the loo and clean it every day), bitten fingers at feeding time or when its woken up and doesnt want to be woken up, constantly finding poos on the floor as the little bu66ers will get into places you would never have thought possible, vets bills as Hamsters have a tendancy for not being too bright and jumping from high up places they shouldn't try unless your kids keep it firmly on the floor oh and if they get it one of those excersise ***** for it do not let it play anywhere near the top of stairs
Enjoy your new member of the family
I had two at uni and they were the most viscious pet I have ever had
To get them out the cage I would just stick my hand it, wait for the two little gits to latch on to a finger each and then lift them out. Got used to the pain after a while. Used to terrorise anyone who came round if they were loose on the floor, bare foot was never an option after the first visit unless you wanted your toes bitten off Currently have 5 rats, they are fine unless you stick your fingers through the cage where they instantly think its food and bite with all their mite
Have been caught a couple of occasions when fixing the water bottle on and hell it hurts lol and blood everywhere, once they eventually let go that is Just think you have at least 2 years of night time noise (the squeaking wheel is the worst!), constant smell (unless you train the hamster to use a jam jar for the loo and clean it every day), bitten fingers at feeding time or when its woken up and doesnt want to be woken up, constantly finding poos on the floor as the little bu66ers will get into places you would never have thought possible, vets bills as Hamsters have a tendancy for not being too bright and jumping from high up places they shouldn't try unless your kids keep it firmly on the floor oh and if they get it one of those excersise ***** for it do not let it play anywhere near the top of stairs
Enjoy your new member of the family
15 March 2004, 12:17 AM
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Originally Posted by greg.g
Powder paint
Now theres a blast from the past
Now theres a blast from the past
DISCLAIMER: I was not responsible for the desk incidents
15 March 2004, 07:36 AM
#21
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there is no reason for hamsters to exist...they dont teach kids how to look after pets...in fact the only thing that does is when your kids 28 and has to pay the bills for the vets, in the meantime tell your kids to go jump when they want a stupid rodent.
AND HERES THE RAT WARNING......do not be fooled by the "ohh, get a rat they are so much more friendly than a hamster" brigade. as much as a hamster bites a rat stinks.....they are all evil.
AND HERES THE RAT WARNING......do not be fooled by the "ohh, get a rat they are so much more friendly than a hamster" brigade. as much as a hamster bites a rat stinks.....they are all evil.
15 March 2004, 12:32 PM
#22
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LOL - speaking as a shooter who therefore views any rodent as vermin, the only good use of a hamster is as a target.....
Wasn't there an uproar in the papers last week about a fur coat made out of 1500 hamster pelts? You only need to collect another 1499.......
Wasn't there an uproar in the papers last week about a fur coat made out of 1500 hamster pelts? You only need to collect another 1499.......
15 March 2004, 06:37 PM
#23
Tiggs,
Hamster never asked to be domesticated, they were quite happy being prey for just about everything else.
And Dave, remember where you are, you cannot advocate any kind of animal cruelty without getting the thread locked, though I could have quite cheerfully 'popped a cap in its ***' yesterday !
Hamster never asked to be domesticated, they were quite happy being prey for just about everything else.
And Dave, remember where you are, you cannot advocate any kind of animal cruelty without getting the thread locked, though I could have quite cheerfully 'popped a cap in its ***' yesterday !
15 March 2004, 07:24 PM
#24
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Our ratties don't stink, got 3 of them, cage is cleaned every 3 days. Any droppings on plastic surfaces are cleaned up as is urine.
Our's spend alot of time with us out of the cage so are handled very regulary. We have not been bitten by them when putting fingers through the bars. The just groom around the nail. I have amazing cuticles now
They take food from our mouths an will cart any food off given the chance. Had many a tug of war with our three.
Our's spend alot of time with us out of the cage so are handled very regulary. We have not been bitten by them when putting fingers through the bars. The just groom around the nail. I have amazing cuticles now
They take food from our mouths an will cart any food off given the chance. Had many a tug of war with our three.
15 March 2004, 07:31 PM
#26
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"They take food from our mouths"
why why why why would you do that?
is it like at seaworld?
i love my wife/kids/dogs but none of them is eating from my mouth!
T
ps- do they tow you round the pool as well? that would be cool!
why why why why would you do that?
is it like at seaworld?
i love my wife/kids/dogs but none of them is eating from my mouth!
T
ps- do they tow you round the pool as well? that would be cool!
16 March 2004, 12:13 AM
#28
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Tiggs. LOL Unfortuneately they don't have the swimming strengh to pull us around the pool.
Taking food from the mouth shows trust and strengthens the bond.
Quite often at meal times Indy our Agouti will sit on my dads leg and have some food with us. When finished, Indy goes back into my dads sleave. Or sit there and grab scraps from the plate.
Unfortuneately they don't have the swimming strengh to pull us around the pool. Taking food from the mouth shows trust and strengthens the bond.
Quite often at meal times Indy our Agouti will sit on my dads leg and have some food with us. When finished, Indy goes back into my dads sleave. Or sit there and grab scraps from the plate.
