mj

My 12 yr old daughter turns 13 in a couple of weeks , last week I had the shock of my life when I saw her for the first time in make up, she looks about 15 all of a sudden.

My GF has planned to take her to one of these tart parlours for her birthday to get her nails done etc, I thought this was a bit odd at the time, I was under the impression my daughter would prefer to go and watch harry potter or something, but I kept sshtum for what it was worth.

Now I have just come off the phone to my EX ( all very amiable BTW ) who tells me that our sprog has now taken to do doing Robert Smith impressions with her eyeliner, lipstick etc, she also says ( and this is the bit that worries me) that she rolls her skirt up so it bareley covers her ****, but apparently all the girls do it. My EX thinks the visit to the parlour is a bit odd aswell.

I'm just wondering if this planned visit to the tart parlour might be giving out the wrong message, I don't want her growing up to think she needs to look like some Z-list trollop bint to get on in life.

Either way, if I stick my beak in I'll end being the biggest a***hole in the world as she is looking forward to it, I can also see some flak coming my way from the missus

any suggestions

concerned,

manchester

16vmarc

If there was a best title award you would win it imo

D.K.1

Nothing wrong in getting your nails done, they look good if they're done properly, not that I have mine any more

When I was that age, all the girls in school rolled their skirts up

The make up thing may be abit worrying, if she insists on wearing it, perhaps someone can show her do do it properly so she doesn't look a mess or tarty.

You can't stop her from growing up, but you are able to guide her in the right direction, if she will listen

Brun

Wise words

ProperCharlie

absolutely!

Poor Guy

steer her towards heavy metal now now now!
dark make up, no chance of a johnboy nova driving boyfriend and rebellious, quality but rarely revealing clothing.

get her a Marylin Manson CD for her birthday



seriously though. get her into metal if you want her covered and not tarty looking. Im 18 and seriously dislike todays revealing female "fashion".

camk

PMSL, only because I can laugh at the moment, mine is 6 now and has a Boyfriend at school, FFS.....can't wait for faux moustached 15 year old lads in Track Suits turning up at the door.

I think if you take the no makeup approach it may end up with you sounding a bit like Ken Barlow.

LG John

Yup, my sister is going through the exact same stage (she's 12/13). I find with kids this is the dangerous period in their life. 1st year to 4th year at high school very often define their personality for life and also set the tone as to what they will/won't become. She will inevitably put makeup on, date boys, swear, stay out late, etc, etc. As a parent all you can do is be firm but fair and give her space to go through this stage of life. If you've been a good parent up to now she should know right from wrong and find her own way in life and not become the tart/ned you fear she might. I figure this will be the case with my sister. I expect she'll do wierd and shocking things over the coming years but I'm sure she'll get there in the end And if she doesn't I'll just beat up her boyfriends

mj

hmmm..Ken Barlow - no thanks

do get me wrong I don't want to lock her in the cupboard under the stairs, but I dont want her growing up too fast - up till recently she was more interested in her toy webpage on neopets ( kiddies virtual pet site ), all of a sudden it seems looking good is the priority.

just bounced it off the GF, and mentioned the skirt thing, she sort of agrees with me, I just don't think we should be encouraging her that looking the part is the be all and end-all, I suppose by blinging her up for her birthday does that.

apparrently it was a french nail polish she was getting - whatever that is :O

mj

forgot to say, I'm 32, I don't want to be a grandad at 35 it goes against my anti-chav beleifs

weapon69

lol french nail polish is pretty natural looking I started to go mad about age 15.....and that was due to freedom from discipline more than anything. Other than that i might have remained playing with my teddies until at least 25

Petem95

Doesnt the UK have the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in the world?

No need to worry really unless shes off on holiday for the week/out all night or whatever - one of the guys in my tutor group at school (he was a complete tw@t, not one of my group of mates) got some 13yr old pregnant when he was in Newquay for the week (he was 16 at the time!). He had to pay for her abortion.

mj

cheers pete

daisy

MJ - you, your G/F and ex all sound like like pretty well adjusted people - don't worry, she'll turn out fine.

mj

cheers mate, I'm sure she will - it's the bit inbetween that's niggling me.

I only see her on fridays/saturdays BTW, GF picks her up after school and she stays the night, I might be reading too much into this as I don't get the full picture so to speak.

Ok, Ken Barlow mode, I am of the opinion that given she has just sprung into young impressionable womanhood, and the skirt thing ( which still worries me ), best bet is to forget the Jordan treatment, I'll tell her there was a double booking at the salon.

I don't know if its the right or wrong move though, downside of part time fatherhood, its all a first for me

daisy

I would let her go to the salon - as long as it's only for a french manicure which will make her feel special without looking too old for her age:
http://www.free-beauty-tips.com/frenchmanicure.html
don't make a big deal of it if you do change your mind or she'll feel like she's missing out (I let my 5 year old daughter wear clear nail varnish)

mj

I see your point, but at 5 they are dressing up, wearing mum's shoes and all that jazz.

still worried,

manchester.

Henrik

iTrader: (5)

Dude, take a chill pill...

If you don't let her go to the parlour, she might get really upset and hate you forever

TonyBurns

iTrader: (3)

A bit of female bonding??

Tony

unclebuck

It's just life mate. Enjoy the ride....

Keep her away from those muslims "right arms" though...

UB

mj

@ tonyI'd say so, this is why it's tricky.

@UB
LOL, every parents worst nightmare, " mum,dad, this is suhail" <large shudder>

David_Wallis

Just be open with her.. One of my mates has the most open relationship with his parents its worrying.. he was ******** his bird upstairs (little older 16+ ) both come down for tea with mum.. his mum says to bird, do you want some stuffing... oh no, youve just had some ... No secrets there..

Seriously though.. my parents said to me let me know where your going its fine.. they didnt really care where I was / what I was doing just as long as they know where.. hence I never lied if I was going to the pub at 15 / 16.. and as for drinking on street corners.. they used to buy the booze.. provididng we stayed in and drunk at home.. so parents paid for my parties at 15 / 16 and used to leave us to it..

Kids at that age know what they want.. its scary how quick they grow up, dont worry too much theres not much you can do.. apart from make her hide it from you as she thinks you disaprove.. just offer support and enjoy the time you get to spend with her.. and dont forget her birthday, unlike my parents did 2 years ago.. *****.. Its not like im old.. only 24

Still live at home. never had a bed time.. just they dont seem to like the partys anymore.. nor paying for the booze.. but they are still pretty cool for circa 60yrs old.. as many people on here know..

Oh and they know Im no angel.. Can I have a lift home from the police station Ive been arrested again.. 'No, WALK'

David

mj

...so did mine, and I feel I have turned out with a a decent set of morals..zzz, still didn't stop me from alchohol poisioning,VD, and teenage preagnancy

oh well, they say you "reap what you sow"

David_Wallis

Not had any of them.. recently

cw42

iTrader: (1)

whatever you do, don't let the "muppets" see this thread

especially that title
Still got all this to come myself, daughter of 9 and son of 7, already headstrong and pushing the boundaries
Good luck.
chris.
ps, are you in manchester mj? If so, get yourselves along to a smacs meet

dij

I think you will have to try and become her best friend type charachter and less daddy so that you can stay intouch with whats going on in her head.

Let me know how you get on,my girls only 2 and she keeps going for the make up.

Spose its just one of them things that has to be faced for the first time and then you get used to it(even if you dont like it).

Lifes a bitch.

BTW,my name is Suhail.

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

I suppose this is one of the things that made me breathe a sigh of relief when I got two lads..................although they do have their moments:

The skirt thing, you will not change. No matter what you do, she'll roll it up when out of your sight. My own sister did it, way back. It's a fashion thing, and the only thing that'll stop it would be a return to long skirts and trousers being the only fashionable wear.

As far as make up is concerned, let her wear small amounts, get g/f or mother to advise so she looks nice without looking a tart.

At least you haven't had to go through what a friend of mine did, when his 13 year old daughter was brought home by police after being recorded by cctv giving oral sex to an asian lad on a town centre roof!

Alcazar

tmo

Patt@firstime

PMSL @ title of this thread!!!