I really really hope that new ID's can't be picked up.


Anyway - on Friday I had a mega row with the wife and ended up holding her down by a twisted arm and slapping her head. The row was about paternity of our youngest, who is now 5 yo, and has blood type Rh(D) while both myself and herself(wife) are Rh(d). I love the kid to bits and would happily die for her, so to me it isn't a big issue (except when I am drunk and vitriolic). My big issue is that I got blind drunk and slapped her(wife). She says that doesn't matter and that her big issue is that I don't believe the kid is mine. There isn't really a question with this as I am not sure if the question should be related to genetics, wife abuse or alcoholism but I am sure you guys will have views

 

 

errr.....

sounds like you need to stop drinking for a bit until the other things are sorted out.

is it beyond doubt the kid is yours (don't know **** all about blood - other than it should be red).

maybe best to jump ship if the bairn isn't yours and pray you don't get the old bill at the door.

 

oh and unless you use dial-up (56k) then it is a safe bet the mods will know who you are/or can find out. but they would be in all kinds of **** to leak that information unless requested to do so by the old bill.

 

Get a paternity test. I have been in that physical situation (I don't have any kids) and with someone who is able to overpower you to the point where you can't budge it is **** scary especially when they are drunk as you don't know what they could/would do (I wasn't punched or a beaten wife but have taken a slap or two and pushed about). Think about what you have done and about what you have jeopardised, just think about what was going through your wife's head at the time. If this is what happens when you drink; don't do it. Next time you may hurt her even more.

If she lifted hands to you first then fair do's. If not you should be ashamed of yourself. Were your children in the house when this was going on?

 

you need to speak to trisha mate.

all jokes aside, no genetic dna testing will ever make the girl not yours, even if not in a blood link, she will have always known you as "dad". if you feel so strongly about it, then goto the docs.

I personally feel no man should ever hit a woman, and its a pretty ****ty thing to do anyway, however thats not important here, the important thing for you initially is to stop the boozing, and start treating your wife with a little more respect.

good luck.

jamo

 

jj - She is the spitting image of my sister, but occasionally I think that is just a fluke of nature given the blood types. I don't care if she isn't my biological kid... since she was born until one of us die I will be daddy and her life will be more imortant than mine. As I said above - I would die for her, so no issue there. What I am realy worrid about is slapping my wife, which hasn't happened in 10 years of marriage,... and the drinkathon which led to it. What I am hoping for is that some medic type will give me an explanation for RH- paternts having and RH+ baby or maybe that AA will call me up and tell me to get my **** down there post haste? I'm just all fukced up at the minute

 

If she is saying the slap doesn't matter, you should be fooking relieved and not doubt her at all. Otherwise you could be in the Domestic violence court on Monday.

 

it may bite you in the **** tho if you are not the biological father. you could do all the right things and then when she hits 8 years old BAM out of the blue the sperm dad turns up. wife decides she wants him blah blah maybe for a partner maybe to be part of daughters life either way you are up the creek without a boat nevermind a paddle.

the "am i the father?" will always be on your mind - until you die - so i say have a test. if you are wrong (hopefully) and you are the dad then some serious grovelling would not go amiss.

can't think of nothing worse to bring up someone elses child (when you are in the dark) and then find out later on you are not the father.

 

oh and stop posting under muppets with your new id - may give the game away

 

FYI I am A RH neg and so was my ex. My daughter is A RH pos. There was NO cause for doubt about paternity there!!!

 

Unfortunately, the person that can give me the medical answer on this (the wife!) is now in bed....

However, if you know nothing about blood (a complex subject!), how are you so sure it isn't your child?????

I sincerely hope your behaviour wasn't based on a guess about blood types...???

 

Interesting!

It's late and i cant be arsed to check but i am 90% sure that 2 rh- parents must make a rh- child.

It is only some rh+ people who can also pass on rh-

 

unfortunately I understand the entine ABO. RH CDE/cde RH D RHd scenario as much as most if the gene splicers. What I can't grasp is that after 5 years I suddenly need to batter a person much smaller than me about it. She says I didn't hurt her and just shouted a lot, but I know I held her down and slapped her - maybe it didn't hurt this time but I centainly cant trust myself to get to the next time.


Redkop - Can you give me an explanation that doesn't involve another father?

 

chaarl - I could give the percentage probability of DD, Dd, and dd parents having a dd kid 10 years before I got married. 5 years after that I could give you DD, Dd, Ddu, ddu, and dd parents. Now I understand that that du covers another 26 phenomes, so A level bilogy wont cover the answer, but then hopefully is is just a fluke

 

...in that case
I'll check in the morning, just in case......

DISCLAIMER : Check 100% sure with a blood expert about your "findings" before reading any further....

I imagine though, in the worst case scenario, you have to question yourself as to why violence was your reaction to the events. No-one would question anger in a situation like this, but some would question violence. However, everyone expresses anger in a different way.

Paternity, for obvious reasons, is an extremely emotional subject. If there is an issue over paternity, your partner has been covering up something for some years......

Affairs are one thing, but children are another.....

Tough times ahead for you both if this is 'a doubt'. Suggest you both get some professional help to deal with the consequences of such an event....

 

On the bright side you have to consider - I am loaded



**** - I sound like imlach an pslewis already

 

I can only suggest you get down to Relate and talk it through. My guess is that its always been an issue (obviously) but one you have tried to keep under wraps maybe for the sake of the other children in the relationship.

As we all know alcohol disinhibits one so maybe having a major argument whilst under the influence brings issues like this that normally you keep hidden to the fore?

Good luck

C

 

Don't give too many clues to your identity

 

like imlach it's the missus who has the brains the size of a planet and who would understand the nuances but sadly she's working in A&E right now

 

imlach - you think what I feel - she says I wanst violent or scary and it was less scary than a play fight, but i know it wasn't a play fight. My other kid (who is my clone, so no question) was ther and thought it was a play fight as well, but I know different, and it is my feeling that the next step is putting someone in hospital, followed by the typical disclaimer, "I didn't mean it"

 

you mean you think PS is still ******* at his age

 

Out of interest, while your partner has dismissed your actions as "non-serious", have either of you actually discussed the subject in the cold light of day? If so, what did she have to say on the subject of the paternity of the child in question???

...or is the whole subject being swept under the carpet?

 

We have discussed it since she was given anti -D after kiddie was born. She says she hasn't kissed another bloke since 1989. My problem is really to to ask for a paternity test and say I don't trust her or shut up and love her like I currently do. I would sacrafice anything for the three of them, so I don't really see what progress we can make with a test. I can see what progress I might make with AA or Wifebeaters'r'us, but she says I just got carried away. Carried away slapping a little girl aged 3 or 30 just aint acceptable to me, but given how ****faced i was, once again I have doubts if i was just shouting, or shouting and hitting. Imediate answe is AA, butI haven't been that drunk to not remember for about 2 years, and maybe 4-5 years before that, so I don't really know what I should be thinking or feeling

 

sorry if im repeating stuff here but just get a test done to make sure.

sober or drunk you should not be getting physical with your wife. obviously if she's hitting u holding is understandable but slapping...... i'm sure you're a much better person than that m8.

good luck.

 

My full blood group is A Rhesus Neg [Anti D] - I am certain my ex's was A Rhesus Negative as I didn't have to have the Anti D jab

 

Maybe the first thing is to knock off the alcohol and get settled into a completely stable state of mind. Then you can sort the other business out more sensibly as well as reducing the chance of being violent.

Les

 

suprised the sponsored links havent contained an advert for Stella Artois ???

next time you do an arm lock, twist the fingers back a bit too!!!

BB

 

This paternity issue will consume you if you don't do something about it. Your relationship with your partner is rocky right now anyway due to this recent incident so you need to get this over with ASAP. Your partner may well be upset that you feel the need to confirm what shes been telling you for 5 years but if you can't let it go its always going to be there.

I'm about 85% sure my partner got pregnant deliberately - its a long story. Anyway it used to dominate all arguments until I decided there was just no point trying to get her to admit it and that my life is better with my daughter in my life (even if her mother is there too ) However, my daughters personality is a carbon copy of mine so never contemplated her not being mine.

The point I'm making though, if you can't let these things go you either have to let it go or do something about it. Yes the situation is much different but I'm on about peace of mind. If you can't be at peace until this is resolved then you must act, however you must first think about the consequences if you are not the father, your search for peace may lead to even more turmoil for you and your family.

Feel for you mate. As for giving her a slap STOP BLOOMING DRINKING! worst thing to do if your feeling down is drink your bound to lash out.