Buzzer

[rant]

Some blokes just come into our office, he had an appointment to see me about a new product that this new manufacturer wants to push

Anyhoo he comes into the office breathin like an asthmatic ox and eeewwwwwwww did his breath stink (straight from the devils own satanic ****). I offered him a chair before he collapsed into a bluberry heap on the floor.

So now i'm sat opposite this mingin ****** whilst he progresses to cough his lungs up all over my face. Aaah i thought, get my secretary to make him a strong coffee, at least that will surpress the bog of eternal stench gob She came over and gave the mingin ****** a coffee. She winced with the assault now cast upon her nose and promptly legged it.

Whilst having his coffee and obviously warming himself in our office from the cold outside, he begins to sweat like Niagra falls. The beads of sweat were dripping down his nose into the coffee eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww Just when i think it couldn't get any worse, the ****** takes his jacket off to reveal two large heaving masses of sweat oozing from his armpits

He stunk like a 4th year Uni students bread bin! I had to go into the toilet to either heave or just breathe normally As i passed my secretary i commented "Mingin ****** or what", she just mouthed out "OH MY GOD" on the way back i asked secretary whether i should say something to him and ask him if he was feeling okay but she said "No, he will be embarressed"

So this ****** comes into my office, assaults my nose, appetite and general health but i will embarress him if i tell him he's got as much personal Hygiene skill as Rab C Nesbitt.

Well i didn't tell him i admit i bottled it

.................... and for not addressing "the boil on the **** of humanity" he shat in my toilet before he left

Gutted

[/rant]

SJ_Skyline

Please don't tell me he was selling soap or deoderant!

D.K.1

OMFG !

I have my tea cooking, cheers for that Pete

He sounded lovely

LMFAO

jasey

Buzzer,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the time you gave me today ...

D.K.1

Buzzer

LOL SJ the Irony of it

Donna, you wouldn't believe it mate, he did make me feel physically sick

The thing is though, surely peeps would want to know if they minged like turd, wouldn't they. Why shouldn't i have said something and why did i bottle it, thats not usually like me

BTW I didn't / wouldn't tell you *Sonic* coz you're me mate

(i had to get the last one in before Sonic did)


LOL Jasey

jasey

We once had a guy that worked in the Purchasing dept and you could tell if he had been in your office in the past 30 minutes Coz you could still smell him . I was 18 at the time and was the only person in the company with the "bottle" to tell him that he had a "personal Hygene Issue" as I eloquently put it !


He thanked me !

They don't know they Ming (well some of them don't - I Do ).

Thanks again for the meeting - If you could forward the PO I can arrange to meet up with you and your wife for a night out on the town .

Jerome

I spent 3 years working with a guy who was just as you described.

He would come out of one of the traps in the bog - after producing the foulest stench imaginable - and head straight out the door without washing his hands. When I get back to the office, he would be sitting there sucking his fingers.

Nimbus

at least he didn't fart.....

D.K.1

I can imagine Buzzer

We used to work in a Bakery and there was a bloke there who used to make me heave and throw up a couple of times, when I had to work next to him on the production line..........Hre was minging He had horrible flakes on hos face, like pussey spots and boils and so on, we all used to tell him he stunk of sh!te, but it never seemed to bother him, the boss even sent him home for showers on a few occasions, he was disgusting

Funny as **** though when a few of us would say things about muck spreading and he used to throw strops, we used to say to him, if you don't like it, have a fecking wash FFS

D.K.1

Hey I didn't notice that *Sonic* stinks ?

Andy Tang

iTrader: (3)

I was in the pub with some friends when I was 18.

One of the guys had the cheek to moan at the rest of us, for showring, shaving and using aftershave before we went to the pub. "It's not like you're going to pull" he said.

I told him that it was about personal hygene and taking pride in your appearence. I went on to say, would you rather hear strangers tell you "You Smell"?

He then dropped the bombshell, "Do I smell?" he asked.

My reply was.... "You've been known to hum" and we suggested that holes in your jumper and jeans that had not been washed (ever) was not a look we were trying to achieve.

It hurt his feelings, but at least he started having a bath before going out!!

Buzzer

Billy no mates Donna

D.K.1

Awww Poor Steve LOL

jasey

Seems that Buzz needs an 18 year old assistant to put all the "hummers" right

Buzzer

Okay, just been the loo and it seems he didn't crap in it as my nose wasn't assaulted my secretary was winding me up

However, i did notice a small accumulation of mutt nuts on the floor next to the bog brush.............................. anyway thats the cleaners job

Jasey, under 40 will do

D.K.1

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew ! I take it he'd been scratching his nadgers in the loo then

Lufferly !

Reffro

I used to work with a fella similar to this. He used to come into the office stinking of half a can of Lynx or similar. After about 30 mins that used to give up and his natural stench used to start coming through. He was the only man I knew who had skid marks showing clearly through the outside of his trousers.........

ChrisB

At this point I don't read this thread again until after my tea!

chaos.

There was a guy like this at the place I used to work at, as I left he would start the night shift, he was a smelly dirty bastid with a nasty greasy beard and long greasy hair, grim.

misty

I was in B&Q a while back when this security guy came past me, FECKIN HELL did he stink or what, so I said "get a feckin wash" (under my breath!!) well he must have heard me cuss he followed me round with a face like a robbers dog for the next 15 mins. Still soaps cheap enough aint it? and if you are working with the public you should make an effort to stink better in my most humble opinion!!!
dave

D.K.1

LOL, Dangerous Dave PMSL

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

macdonalds

_Meridian_

iTrader: (1)

An ex-team leader at work used to believe that soap and anti-perspirants were bad for you - so he never used any. His wife (luckily for her) agreed, but she was nowhere near as rank as him. You could always tell when he'd been to the khazi 'cos the smell used to get trapped between the two doors in. In summer no-one wanted to be in the same room as him.


M

D.K.1

The Guv'nor

Be satisfied he didn't sit down in your chair and **** his pants by the sound of it.

T.G.

Dracoro

It's disgusting and offensive really. Everyone must have some sort of social/self awareness so are incredibly ignorant or incredibly selfish and rude. There's a difference between an off day or a fart etc. compared to some that just never wash or brush their teeth.

I used to work with a guy who was an alcholic, never washed, smoked, wore same clothes all week, let's his cats pi$$ on his jumper and yet still wore it into work!! I kid you not!. Combine all those things and what do you get? Vile thing.

D.K.1

I can't believe some people can be so disgusting

I hate not having a shower, I always like to be clean, I would die of embarrassment if I thought I was smelly and other people could smell it

Surely these people realise what they smell like ? If so, why still keep going round like a minger, rather than clean up a bit and have a wash and wear clean clothes ?

YUCK !

Ubik

I have been in the situation you describe and I have told them. Felt a right b*stard for doing it and regretted it to a certain extent but they should not come in to see people in that kind of state.