wez_sti

....tell the difference between a girl chatting to you normally or chatting you up?????


I DJ in a local bar and get quite alot of women come up to me and talk about alllll kinds of things, is there any way of knowing if they just want a chat or they are chatting me up???

I'm not a particualy confident guy and assume they're just having a natter.

An example, last night,

gorgeous girl starts talking to me about 'mixing' and being a DJ, as she says she's always been interested in it, complimented my DJing and asked where i learnt etc etc.. came up a few times during the night, asking for songs, saying 'i love this one' bla bla bla, didnt know how to let her know i like her without falling flat on my face if turns out she was just being freindly, bearing in mind i have to go back there every week....

if i was just in a bar drinking and a girl came up to me like that i'd be a bit more confident she was interested, but being as i'm working, i'm more likely to be talked to.

this has hapened loads of times and i always end up kicking myself at the end of the night when i dont make a move...

have i been missing out or just avoiding looking like a desperate slease????

i understand theres no set formulae to know weather someones interested, but a few pointers would be good, from the ladies or ladies men...


yes i know i'm on my PC on a sat night, i'm not well!!!

thanks in advance

wez

milo

rule of thumb (not always accurate but most of the time)... if a girl goes out of her way to talk to u when she doesnt have to, then it's a pretty safe bet that you're in with a good chance.

if she HAD to talk to you anyway for whatever reason (example: a waitress serving you, or someone at work) and are friendly, then it's a fair chance that they're just being nice because they have to be.

in your case, if shes gone over to chat to you a lot and is regularly complimenting you, its a bit of a no-brainer imo. try complimenting her back on how she looks. you can usually tell where u stand from her reaction.

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

D'oh. She likes you. Why else would she come up and chat to you? Why not next time you see her offer to let her hang out with you whilst you dj to see how it's done and take it from there...

wez_sti

Hmmmmm, trouble is, always find it hard to compliment a girl without sounding really cheesy, and if she says, 'thanks' which she probaly would, i wouldnt really know any better???? She says she's thinking of buying decks and starting to learn,

i nearly said 'i dont mind giving you a couple of lessons, to teach you the basics' . would that of been too strong???

i meant literally, not a metophor for something else

Suresh

Not at all. That would be a good move to get to know her better.

wez_sti

'confidence'..... easy to say hard to get!

think my problem comes from the fact i was in a relationship from 18yrs old for 4 years, missed out on alot of chatting up and fun and games! so i dont have alot of the women skills you'd normally pick up at my age!

106rallye

Mate I was in the same situation went out with a girl when I was 18 for 4 years, trouble I found was you miss the blatent signs, trust me it is better to regret making a move than to regret not making it! As long as you do it in a not too offensive way then the chances are they will be flatered and if they do turn you down then there are always their friends

Good luck

Andy

wez_sti

So how do you compliment them without sounding sleazy or cheesy???

if they're talking to me about music etc... and i come out with 'your eyes twinkle like stars in the night' or something there gonna think i'm mental!

shamrock

If I had of been in your situation I would have used her interest in mixing to get to know her better.

E.g. Ask if she fancied a quick go on your decks or invite her along to another club that you DJ at. If she shows in an interest you may have a chance.

Tiggs

she was in the same position as you....which is why she spoke about DJ'ing to get chatting! she prob couldnt give a toss about it but wanted to chat!

sort yourself out!

T

wez_sti

dam! upfront advice!!

Dont see how you can be so sure???? If thats the case, do you reckon i've already blown it then???

paul-s

ive been djin in a club in tenerife this summer, still here now, and theres always birds comin up to chat, sometimes they have b/friends, u just keep an eye on where theyre standing, who with etc, and do stuff like put the spotlight on them, wave, smile, offer em a freebie (drink not other) and if they keep comin back to speak then its a dead cert. normally end up goin home with em after i finish at 4. how old r u by the way ? im 22

2000TLondon

I would have offered to teach her the basics of mixing back at your gaff.... By the second or third time she had come over I would have asked her out for a drink, defo.

The thing I always remember is there is nothing to lose, if you mis-read the signs and she isn't interested, she'll be flattered but make an excuse or just say no thanks, but she won't slap you, ring the police / her brothers or try to humiliate you in public (probably not, anyway!!!) so just go for it! As long as you're not proposing or drooling, why would she not want to go out for a few drinks with you?

The added bonus is if you're the DJ, can't you get her a few free drinks sent over or build up more of a rapport over a few weeks if you aren't confident?

Either way, you won't be worrying about "what if" if you get on and ask 'em out! Good luck!

wez_sti

cheers guys.

thought about getting a drink sent over, but she was with a group, some of which were blokes (quite sure she werent with any of em though)

think the one of the reasons i was/still not sure is, she was dam gorgeous! well out of my 'league' as they say! will give it a go next time, if she comes in again!

Paul,23, your doing what i wanna do, always said i wanna go Tenerife/Ibiza/Napa for a season to DJ, how'd you get into it, whats the £ like? can PM if you'd like.when do you come back, might be going for a cheap week in Oct.


will let you all know how it went after friday, will try and sneak a pic on my phone! knowing my luck she wont be there though!


Cheers

paul-s

im in a net cafe at the moment mate, but times nearly ran out, i work at 1-4 every nite, so ill try n pop back in tonite b4 work to post on here some more info. fyi its dance music, in cream on veronicas, tenerife.
post later mate

astraboy

mate, you're a DJ, surely you should be fighting them off!
astraboy.

wez_sti

well, i definately get more come ons than when i'm out normally. had a few occasions where i've been asked outright 'if i fancy a sh@g??' , but its never the ones you want to say that, d'oh!

someone with more confidence in my job would un-doubtedly clean up on a nightly basis, i'm just sh1te at picking up on it basically. few weeks ago one of the barman after work said 'what happened to that fit bird that was chatting you up' i was like 'eh???' but he could tell from 20feet away what she was after, i was clueless!

just a skill i was born without i guess!

still, i'm a superb driver and a great DJ! .....and modest!

speak to you later then paul, i'm into my dance, mainly funky and classic house...

Markus

Dude, next time she comes over, talk to her, get a her drink and chat. I'd say she's interested.

Sometimes you just gotta take the chance, heck I'm not mr confident myself, but I have learnt to just think "**** it" and go for it, worst case? she knocks you back, best case, you'll have a cracking girly.

Old_Fart

When she walks away check to see if she left a puddle of love juice on the floor. If she's wet she's yours mate.
Rgds
Cman

Markus

fpmsl @ Chuck

astraboy

Catch her eye and hold it till she looks away. Keep looking at her though, if she looks back within 45 seconds, you're in
astraboy.

wez_sti

LOL, i'll keep an eye out for love juice puddles!

i did give her a stare and a smile and she gave me a very nice smile back, kept looking over aswell!

sounds so obvious from what i'm writing, but she is EXTREMELY fit!

seem to have the right boxes ticked,

- came over to chat

- got a couple of smiles

- came over again to chat

- seemed interested in what i did

oh, and she asked if i was DJing Sunday night...mmm, the more i write the more i think i'm a blind idiot!!!!


....didnt notice any 'love puddles' though


bring on Friday.....

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Next time you see her give her a wave, call her over and just ask her if she wants to hang out with you whilst you play. Easy peasy

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Remember you are a DJ (therefore more godlike than a godlike thing), she probably thinks you get offers from girls far more gorgeous than her every single time you play out. Therefore she probably thinks you're way out of her league.

wez_sti

thanks, may well give that a go! Oh well, more chance than just going up to a random goodlooking girl in a club or something i guess!

wez_sti

I think i'll print that and read it to myself before everytime i play!

Brendan Hughes

What was the Leslie Nielsen film - Spy Hard? As he watches her walk away and quietly says to himself something like "If you want to see me again, turn around now". And she does - and walks straight into a revolving door. Classic!

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Lol Let us know how you get on

MJW

There's always the chance that the puddle might not actually be 'fanny batter', but the girl may have incontinence problems

So don't use puddles as a sure fire sign you're in there !

Neanderthal

iTrader: (6)

I used to know a DJ and he purposfully brought a car with leather seats for the convieniance factor rather than comfort
It always amazed me how the women would throw themselves at him just cause he was the resident DJ. Thing is, he wouldn't go out anywhere else as he wasn't known so his ego took a bashing. Who could blame him though