A Joke for ye
29 January 2005, 01:23 PM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Home
Posts: 3,222
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A Joke for ye
I was just flicking through some old e-mails and this one made me chuckle
Enjoy.....
A priest took a walk to the pier, down by the lake.
A fisherman asked him if he would like to join him in his boat and the priest agreed.
They rowed out to the middle of the lake. The priest threw in a line and in no time hooked a huge fish.
"Whoa" said the fisherman, "look at the size of that ******!!"
"I'll thank you not to swear," said the priest.
The fisherman thought quickly and said that the fish was, in actual fact, called a ****** fish.
"Oh," said the priest, "I'm sorry, I didn't know that."
When they reached the shore, the priest took his fish to show to the bishop.
"Look at this ******," said the priest and the bishop frowned.
"It's alright" said the priest , "that is what the fish is called."
"Well," replied the bishop,"in that case, I'll clean the ****** and we can have it for dinner tonight."
The bishop then cleaned the fish and brought it to the attention of the Mother Superior.
"Sister" said the bishop, "could you cook this ****** for dinner tonight?"
"Goodness," exclaimed the Mother Superior, "such foul language."
"No sister," he explained, the fish is called a ******. Can you cook it?"
"Yes" replied the sister, "I'll cook the ****** tonight."
Later that evening the Pope dropped by for dinner and, after dinner asked
where they had got the fish.
"I caught the ******," said the priest proudly.
"I cleaned the ******," said the bishop.
"and I cooked the big ******," beamed the Mother Superior.
After hearing this the Pope paused for a minute, fixing them with a steely
gaze and then let out a huge fart, took off his hat, poured himself a
large whisky, put his feet on the table, lit up a cigar, and said, "You
know what?
.
.
.
.
.
You ***** are alright!"
Enjoy.....
A priest took a walk to the pier, down by the lake.
A fisherman asked him if he would like to join him in his boat and the priest agreed.
They rowed out to the middle of the lake. The priest threw in a line and in no time hooked a huge fish.
"Whoa" said the fisherman, "look at the size of that ******!!"
"I'll thank you not to swear," said the priest.
The fisherman thought quickly and said that the fish was, in actual fact, called a ****** fish.
"Oh," said the priest, "I'm sorry, I didn't know that."
When they reached the shore, the priest took his fish to show to the bishop.
"Look at this ******," said the priest and the bishop frowned.
"It's alright" said the priest , "that is what the fish is called."
"Well," replied the bishop,"in that case, I'll clean the ****** and we can have it for dinner tonight."
The bishop then cleaned the fish and brought it to the attention of the Mother Superior.
"Sister" said the bishop, "could you cook this ****** for dinner tonight?"
"Goodness," exclaimed the Mother Superior, "such foul language."
"No sister," he explained, the fish is called a ******. Can you cook it?"
"Yes" replied the sister, "I'll cook the ****** tonight."
Later that evening the Pope dropped by for dinner and, after dinner asked
where they had got the fish.
"I caught the ******," said the priest proudly.
"I cleaned the ******," said the bishop.
"and I cooked the big ******," beamed the Mother Superior.
After hearing this the Pope paused for a minute, fixing them with a steely
gaze and then let out a huge fart, took off his hat, poured himself a
large whisky, put his feet on the table, lit up a cigar, and said, "You
know what?
.
.
.
.
.
You ***** are alright!"
29 January 2005, 01:48 PM
#5
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Home
Posts: 3,222
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A couple more...
A young courting couple are out for a romantic walk along a leafy country lane. They walk hand in hand and, as they stroll, the young man's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when the young woman says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to have a ****".
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a hedge.
She nods in agreement and disappears behind the hedge.
As he waits, he can hear the sound of tight white panties sliding down voluptuous legs and he imagines what loveliness is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and touches her smooth, bare leg. He gently brings his hand further up to her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment,he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.He gasps in horror, "My God Mary have you changed your sex!?".
"No," she replies, "I've changed my mind,
I'm having a **** instead.
Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill's wife's legs were wide apart, and she wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table & emerged red-faced.
Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed & asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
Surprised by her boldness, John admitted that, well, indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you £500."
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial situation as well as the moral costs of this offer, John says that he is indeed interested. She tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons & John doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2pm Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the planned time at 2pm sharp & after paying her the agreed upon £500, they went to the bedroom & completed their sexual transaction as Sue had promised.
Afterwards, John quickly dressed & left.
As usual, Bill came home from work at 6pm & upon entering the house, asks his wife abruptly.
"Did John come by the house this afternoon?"
With a lump in her throat, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few
minutes this afternoon".
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you £500?".
In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out, & after mustering up her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me £500".
Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
"Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning & borrowed £500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home & pay me back."
A young courting couple are out for a romantic walk along a leafy country lane. They walk hand in hand and, as they stroll, the young man's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when the young woman says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to have a ****".
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a hedge.
She nods in agreement and disappears behind the hedge.
As he waits, he can hear the sound of tight white panties sliding down voluptuous legs and he imagines what loveliness is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and touches her smooth, bare leg. He gently brings his hand further up to her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment,he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.He gasps in horror, "My God Mary have you changed your sex!?".
"No," she replies, "I've changed my mind,
I'm having a **** instead.
Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill's wife's legs were wide apart, and she wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table & emerged red-faced.
Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed & asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
Surprised by her boldness, John admitted that, well, indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you £500."
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial situation as well as the moral costs of this offer, John says that he is indeed interested. She tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons & John doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2pm Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the planned time at 2pm sharp & after paying her the agreed upon £500, they went to the bedroom & completed their sexual transaction as Sue had promised.
Afterwards, John quickly dressed & left.
As usual, Bill came home from work at 6pm & upon entering the house, asks his wife abruptly.
"Did John come by the house this afternoon?"
With a lump in her throat, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few
minutes this afternoon".
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you £500?".
In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out, & after mustering up her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me £500".
Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
"Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning & borrowed £500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home & pay me back."
29 January 2005, 04:43 PM
#6
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Weston Super Mare, Somerset.
Posts: 14,102
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
First one () reminded me of time that Diana Doors (real name Diana Fluck - true) was introduced to the Bishop at a tea party. They strolled around together and the Bishop met some friends and thought he would introduce Diana.....
"Ahem - I would like you to meet Diana Clunt"
) reminded me of time that Diana Doors (real name Diana Fluck - true) was introduced to the Bishop at a tea party. They strolled around together and the Bishop met some friends and thought he would introduce Diana....."Ahem - I would like you to meet Diana Clunt"
Trending Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post