What have I done?
22 August 2005, 07:53 PM
#1
Scooby Newbie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 5
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
What have I done?
Assumed name time so I don't bring too much **** taking upon myself. I have made an absolute pig's ear of things and don't know where to turn or what to do. I feel like ending it all just so I don't have to face the consequences of my actions. I have tried drowning my sorrows to no avail except for a stinking hangover the following day. Work have put me on sick leave until I have got my act together and shaped up.
The long and the short of it is this, I met a woman and got too involved with her not just the quick legover it was supposed to be. I found myself falling in love with her. She did things to me no other woman has even suggested and I think I followed my **** rather than my head.
She suggested I leave my wife of many years and go to her. I didn't really want to but she became very persuasive. This woman was a vixen, she oozed sexuality and knew how to use it. I finally plucked up the courage to tell my wife I was having an affair and moving out of the marital home. She was devastated, she cried, I cried, she offered to put it behind us and for me to reconsider my choice, but I couldn't. I packed my bags and left. In the car I called ***** and told her what I'd done. She sounded so enthusisatic and said she couldn't wait to see me when she got back from her holiday, which was only 5 days later so I booked into a hotel for the duration.
When I picked her up from the airport she was very distant but I put it down to her being tired. We went back to her place had a bite to eat and went to bed. She slept with her back to me and didn't say a word. In the morning I confronted her and she said I'd taken the fun out of the relationship by leaving my wife and I should go home as she didn't want me anymore. I was crushed. She didn't want to discuss it and asked me to leave. I grabbed my stuff and left.
I went home with my tail between my legs and found the locks had been changed, my wife wouldn't answer the door and told me to go away. I cried through the letterbox but she just turned some loud music on.
I went to the off-licence and bought a bottle of whisky and sat in the car and necked it. I awoke in the morning covered in puke and feeling very sorry for myself. I went back to the marital home and begged for a second chance but my wife was resolute. It's been 4 weeks now and all I've done is drink and sleep. I'm currently living at my sister's house while she is away touring Europe. My wife is filing for divorce and ***** has a new boyfriend she met on the internet. My life is on a downward spiral and I feel out of control.
What can I do? Death seems so inviting.
The long and the short of it is this, I met a woman and got too involved with her not just the quick legover it was supposed to be. I found myself falling in love with her. She did things to me no other woman has even suggested and I think I followed my **** rather than my head.
She suggested I leave my wife of many years and go to her. I didn't really want to but she became very persuasive. This woman was a vixen, she oozed sexuality and knew how to use it. I finally plucked up the courage to tell my wife I was having an affair and moving out of the marital home. She was devastated, she cried, I cried, she offered to put it behind us and for me to reconsider my choice, but I couldn't. I packed my bags and left. In the car I called ***** and told her what I'd done. She sounded so enthusisatic and said she couldn't wait to see me when she got back from her holiday, which was only 5 days later so I booked into a hotel for the duration.When I picked her up from the airport she was very distant but I put it down to her being tired. We went back to her place had a bite to eat and went to bed. She slept with her back to me and didn't say a word. In the morning I confronted her and she said I'd taken the fun out of the relationship by leaving my wife and I should go home as she didn't want me anymore. I was crushed. She didn't want to discuss it and asked me to leave. I grabbed my stuff and left.
I went home with my tail between my legs and found the locks had been changed, my wife wouldn't answer the door and told me to go away. I cried through the letterbox but she just turned some loud music on.
I went to the off-licence and bought a bottle of whisky and sat in the car and necked it. I awoke in the morning covered in puke and feeling very sorry for myself. I went back to the marital home and begged for a second chance but my wife was resolute. It's been 4 weeks now and all I've done is drink and sleep. I'm currently living at my sister's house while she is away touring Europe. My wife is filing for divorce and ***** has a new boyfriend she met on the internet. My life is on a downward spiral and I feel out of control.
What can I do? Death seems so inviting.
22 August 2005, 08:00 PM
#2
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Texas - It's BIG!
Posts: 2,105
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
FIRST THINGS FIRST, IF YOU ARE FEELING SO BAD THAT YOU ARE MAKING POTENTIALLY SERIOUS REMARKS ABOUT SUICIDE, YOU SHOULDN'T BE POSTING ON HERE FOR ADVICE, BUT CONTACTING A PROFESSIONAL BODY LIKE THE SAMARITANS, YOUR DOCTOR, OR AN A&E WARD.There is obviously nothing really positive that can be said, apart from the sooner you get yourself together, get professional help and sort your head out, the sooner you will have any chance of approaching your wife with the hope of her listening to you and considering taking you back.
The most important thing to realise is you have options, you have friends and family and people who do care about what state you are in, so take advantage of that and try to find some real help. Nothing is ever certain, but if you let yourself spiral out of control, your options will become very limited very quickly.
The most important thing to realise is you have options, you have friends and family and people who do care about what state you are in, so take advantage of that and try to find some real help. Nothing is ever certain, but if you let yourself spiral out of control, your options will become very limited very quickly.
22 August 2005, 08:12 PM
#3
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: I have achieved! I own one!
Posts: 7,167
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The ONLY advice to listen to on here is to go get professional help. Your story is SO sad but not unique and you will get through it.
Ditto the post above me in every way.....and all the best mate
Ditto the post above me in every way.....and all the best mate
22 August 2005, 08:19 PM
#4
Scooby Regular
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 4,228
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Just to echo the above two posts and offer some support. I was in a very similar situation a few years back and eventually came through it but only with professional help.
There are lots of good people that are professionally trained to help you through these situations. I seriously considered and attempted suicide many times but somehow I survived and I'm now pleased I did. It takes time but its worth it in the end.
Hope you get the help you deserve at soon as possible. Pick up the phone and call Samaritains/ your doctor (even out of hours) or go to your local hospital. They will help.
There are lots of good people that are professionally trained to help you through these situations. I seriously considered and attempted suicide many times but somehow I survived and I'm now pleased I did. It takes time but its worth it in the end.
Hope you get the help you deserve at soon as possible. Pick up the phone and call Samaritains/ your doctor (even out of hours) or go to your local hospital. They will help.
22 August 2005, 08:30 PM
#7
BANNED
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: --------------------
Posts: 13,289
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I'm no councillor, but I think you've ****ed it
Dont even talk about ending it, thats the cowards way out. OK, its ****, things will get better, stuff always works itself out.
Dont even talk about ending it, thats the cowards way out. OK, its ****, things will get better, stuff always works itself out.
Trending Topics
22 August 2005, 08:48 PM
#10
It may seem that the situation is not salvageable, it may seem all hope is gone and you have f*cked up big style (which I guess you have) but you just need to give it time, sort yourself out and make small incremental changes to get back to an acceptable situation for yourself. Be under no illusion that it will take a long time and a lot of effort to repair the damage but it is not just possible, its a certainty, maybe not 100% for your life as it was but you will end up in a new situation in which you will have learnt from your mistakes. A mate of mine got into a similar situation, I spent a lot of time talking to him and writing long emails trying to keep his spirits up, he thanked me for my help and his mum and dad thanked me at his wedding to the most lovely girl he met after things cooled down, they bought a house and seem very happy, so from the depths of dispair he came back and is now happier than he was before.
First thing to do is stop boozing, it messes with your head, it dulls the pain for a bit but it stops you thinking and all the time while you are p1ssed you are doing nothing positive to improve your situation, there is no way you can turn the clocks back and make everything as it was before so you need to concentrate on making small steps towards sorting the mess out. Keep away from the ex mistress, dont wallow in self pity. Dont ffs, top yourself, that just a lame way of dealing with stuff for drama queens, be a man and face up to the situation you created.
Step 2, Get back to work, looking smart, alert and not reeking of booze, its difficult but try not to let the problem affect your work to much as by loosing your job you would be compounding the situation and end up in a proper tail spin. Your employers seem to be being reasonable, count your blessings, many arent so considerate. Do stuff to take your mind of it, small pleasures, for example fling a mountain Bike in your car (when you have cleaned the puke out) and go and attack some hills, exercise releases endorphins (feel good chemicals) and clears the head.
Step 3, find somewhere to live and sort the finances out.
Step 4, get the divorce sorted, it looks like you are going to have to take that one on the chin, women are pretty fussy about stuff like infidelity, some have men back but I dont think it can ever be the same.
Step 5, get on with rebuilding rest of life, meet new woman, get married, have kids, count blessings and live happily ever after whilst avoiding temptation.
In the meantime you need to speak to your mates, family, and like the previous poster said a proffessional of some sort, your GP may be able to prescribe something to take the edge off things for a bit.
First thing to do is stop boozing, it messes with your head, it dulls the pain for a bit but it stops you thinking and all the time while you are p1ssed you are doing nothing positive to improve your situation, there is no way you can turn the clocks back and make everything as it was before so you need to concentrate on making small steps towards sorting the mess out. Keep away from the ex mistress, dont wallow in self pity. Dont ffs, top yourself, that just a lame way of dealing with stuff for drama queens, be a man and face up to the situation you created.
Step 2, Get back to work, looking smart, alert and not reeking of booze, its difficult but try not to let the problem affect your work to much as by loosing your job you would be compounding the situation and end up in a proper tail spin. Your employers seem to be being reasonable, count your blessings, many arent so considerate. Do stuff to take your mind of it, small pleasures, for example fling a mountain Bike in your car (when you have cleaned the puke out) and go and attack some hills, exercise releases endorphins (feel good chemicals) and clears the head.
Step 3, find somewhere to live and sort the finances out.
Step 4, get the divorce sorted, it looks like you are going to have to take that one on the chin, women are pretty fussy about stuff like infidelity, some have men back but I dont think it can ever be the same.
Step 5, get on with rebuilding rest of life, meet new woman, get married, have kids, count blessings and live happily ever after whilst avoiding temptation.
In the meantime you need to speak to your mates, family, and like the previous poster said a proffessional of some sort, your GP may be able to prescribe something to take the edge off things for a bit.
22 August 2005, 08:50 PM
#11
Scooby Regular
I agree with what everone has said so far, I felt really sad reading your post, you will get through it in the end, you may even end up getting your wife back, but don't think of ending everything for the sake of some woman who messed you up, don't give her the last laugh and don't give her the satisfaction, it obviously isn't the first time she has done this to someones life, don't let her ruin yours, get some professional help please, after reading your post it brought back so many memories of friends I have lost through suicide, I'm only 21 and have lost about 8 friends through similar or very different circumstances, the last one only being 2 months ago, go to you GP or get on the phone, there are too many people now who think there is noway out but there is so please get some help, this other woman has went on to her next boyfriend who won't last two minutes, don't let someone like her ruin your life, get the help you need and get your life back on track which may eventually get you your wife back, once you know where your head is everything will work out in the end, you have your friends and family to help you through it aswell.
Last edited by Julz1983; 22 August 2005 at 08:54 PM.
22 August 2005, 09:05 PM
#12
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,329
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
been there, done that, read the book, got the video, and the T shirt..
ok so i didnt go down the sleeping with the other woman route, it was however another woman who gave me the much needed kick to resolve the situation i was in.. i did the same as you, and found the grass initially was not green on the other side, but, i had made my bed, and i laid in it!!
unlike your situation i was the one that left, there was no one else involved, it was acrimonious, and to some respects still is, but like the rest of the posters here, can offer the follwing,
it,s happened, regardless of what is, was or would have happened, you have done what you did, now the time to face up to that and move on.
time does heal things,
and i,ll be honest, 4 weeks for your ex to find a new fella?? now even though sh,es the spurned party, i find it a bit odd thats she,s moved on that quick,
was your relationship that strong to start with?? i get the feeling one or both of you were doing the same. prhaps you did first what she may have done to you??
but as the others are sayihng, get some proffesional help asap, otherwise the only thing that will loose is the scooby which wont have an owner!!
Mart
ok so i didnt go down the sleeping with the other woman route, it was however another woman who gave me the much needed kick to resolve the situation i was in.. i did the same as you, and found the grass initially was not green on the other side, but, i had made my bed, and i laid in it!!
unlike your situation i was the one that left, there was no one else involved, it was acrimonious, and to some respects still is, but like the rest of the posters here, can offer the follwing,
it,s happened, regardless of what is, was or would have happened, you have done what you did, now the time to face up to that and move on.
time does heal things,
and i,ll be honest, 4 weeks for your ex to find a new fella?? now even though sh,es the spurned party, i find it a bit odd thats she,s moved on that quick,
was your relationship that strong to start with?? i get the feeling one or both of you were doing the same. prhaps you did first what she may have done to you??
but as the others are sayihng, get some proffesional help asap, otherwise the only thing that will loose is the scooby which wont have an owner!!
Mart
22 August 2005, 09:43 PM
#13
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 9,368
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
It may seem that the situation is not salvageable, it may seem all hope is gone and you have f*cked up big style (which I guess you have) but you just need to give it time, sort yourself out and make small incremental changes to get back to an acceptable situation for yourself. Be under no illusion that it will take a long time and a lot of effort to repair the damage but it is not just possible, its a certainty, maybe not 100% for your life as it was but you will end up in a new situation in which you will have learnt from your mistakes. A mate of mine got into a similar situation, I spent a lot of time talking to him and writing long emails trying to keep his spirits up, he thanked me for my help and his mum and dad thanked me at his wedding to the most lovely girl he met after things cooled down, they bought a house and seem very happy, so from the depths of dispair he came back and is now happier than he was before.
First thing to do is stop boozing, it messes with your head, it dulls the pain for a bit but it stops you thinking and all the time while you are p1ssed you are doing nothing positive to improve your situation, there is no way you can turn the clocks back and make everything as it was before so you need to concentrate on making small steps towards sorting the mess out. Keep away from the ex mistress, dont wallow in self pity. Dont ffs, top yourself, that just a lame way of dealing with stuff for drama queens, be a man and face up to the situation you created.
Step 2, Get back to work, looking smart, alert and not reeking of booze, its difficult but try not to let the problem affect your work to much as by loosing your job you would be compounding the situation and end up in a proper tail spin. Your employers seem to be being reasonable, count your blessings, many arent so considerate. Do stuff to take your mind of it, small pleasures, for example fling a mountain Bike in your car (when you have cleaned the puke out) and go and attack some hills, exercise releases endorphins (feel good chemicals) and clears the head.
Step 3, find somewhere to live and sort the finances out.
Step 4, get the divorce sorted, it looks like you are going to have to take that one on the chin, women are pretty fussy about stuff like infidelity, some have men back but I dont think it can ever be the same.
Step 5, get on with rebuilding rest of life, meet new woman, get married, have kids, count blessings and live happily ever after whilst avoiding temptation.
In the meantime you need to speak to your mates, family, and like the previous poster said a proffessional of some sort, your GP may be able to prescribe something to take the edge off things for a bit.
First thing to do is stop boozing, it messes with your head, it dulls the pain for a bit but it stops you thinking and all the time while you are p1ssed you are doing nothing positive to improve your situation, there is no way you can turn the clocks back and make everything as it was before so you need to concentrate on making small steps towards sorting the mess out. Keep away from the ex mistress, dont wallow in self pity. Dont ffs, top yourself, that just a lame way of dealing with stuff for drama queens, be a man and face up to the situation you created.
Step 2, Get back to work, looking smart, alert and not reeking of booze, its difficult but try not to let the problem affect your work to much as by loosing your job you would be compounding the situation and end up in a proper tail spin. Your employers seem to be being reasonable, count your blessings, many arent so considerate. Do stuff to take your mind of it, small pleasures, for example fling a mountain Bike in your car (when you have cleaned the puke out) and go and attack some hills, exercise releases endorphins (feel good chemicals) and clears the head.
Step 3, find somewhere to live and sort the finances out.
Step 4, get the divorce sorted, it looks like you are going to have to take that one on the chin, women are pretty fussy about stuff like infidelity, some have men back but I dont think it can ever be the same.
Step 5, get on with rebuilding rest of life, meet new woman, get married, have kids, count blessings and live happily ever after whilst avoiding temptation.
In the meantime you need to speak to your mates, family, and like the previous poster said a proffessional of some sort, your GP may be able to prescribe something to take the edge off things for a bit.
I have been in a similar situation,albeit not with the loss of wife and kids, but suffice to say anyone on TRL with know what I'm talking about when I say my life was severely messed about with by satan posing as an australian nurse who made my life a misery since last January.
Women are strange ones to be sure, but DONT let this bitch queen from hell ruin you. Its a test of a mans mettle when he's let up the garden path and then shot down in flames. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
Look at it this way, She's screwed you and left you, taking your marriage and kids with her, but if you top yourself, thats when she's really won.
Dont let her beat you. If you let her beat you, then she'll think she can get away with it again and again.
So dont let her. Get back to work, get your life back and do it while she's laughing in your face. Show her she will NOT beat you, no matter what. When you see her next, look at her directly in the eye with a smile on your lips, not a cheesy grin, but a slight curling of the mouth to let her know that all her efforts to destroy you have failed.
Finally, I know its lame, but this tune has helped me in the previous 8 months. It may help you too.
http://www.lyricsbox.com/labi-siffre...g-nqqqxqz.html
All the best dude,
astraboy.
22 August 2005, 09:52 PM
#14
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (2)
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 2,977
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Jesus mate I really feel for you although I can't help thinking that you'd be having sordid sex with this other woman had she have not told you to go back to your wife. Would you be giving your mrs a second thought then?
Its obvious that your wife will take weeks to get over her initial anger and I imagine she feels pretty much the same as you. With a bit of luck this will subside and you'll get the chance to sit down for an hour to talk things through. Perhaps you can then both discuss what was wrong with the marriage in the first place to make you want to be with someone else.
I sincerely offer my best wishes. Its at times like this you really do appreciate what you have I guess. With regards to the other female I think you've had a lucky escape mate and I suspect she will have done this before. Afterall who the f*ck actively encourages you to leave then changes their mind when the deed is done?
Your'e not the first and nor will you be the last to get in this tangle. Concentrate on your wife mate and stay sober.
Best of luck.
Its obvious that your wife will take weeks to get over her initial anger and I imagine she feels pretty much the same as you. With a bit of luck this will subside and you'll get the chance to sit down for an hour to talk things through. Perhaps you can then both discuss what was wrong with the marriage in the first place to make you want to be with someone else.
I sincerely offer my best wishes. Its at times like this you really do appreciate what you have I guess. With regards to the other female I think you've had a lucky escape mate and I suspect she will have done this before. Afterall who the f*ck actively encourages you to leave then changes their mind when the deed is done?
Your'e not the first and nor will you be the last to get in this tangle. Concentrate on your wife mate and stay sober.
Best of luck.
22 August 2005, 10:02 PM
#15
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 260
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Agree with all the sound advice here....take care of yourself, seek help and when you are ready move forward.
I have access to a network of people who deal with exactly this tye of situation daily, PM me if I can help.
It may help you to know that the Buddhists believe that we choose our current lives and the lessons we will learn before we are born. When stuff like this happens it is because the universe has something in store for us even more magnificent than we can imagine now. They also believe if you harm yourself you have to come back again and learn the same lesson several times over, better to learn it this time and move on.
Stay safe, life is an amazing gift, forgive the past, you have choice over your future, there is only the now - that's why we call it the Present.
I have access to a network of people who deal with exactly this tye of situation daily, PM me if I can help.
It may help you to know that the Buddhists believe that we choose our current lives and the lessons we will learn before we are born. When stuff like this happens it is because the universe has something in store for us even more magnificent than we can imagine now. They also believe if you harm yourself you have to come back again and learn the same lesson several times over, better to learn it this time and move on.
Stay safe, life is an amazing gift, forgive the past, you have choice over your future, there is only the now - that's why we call it the Present.
22 August 2005, 10:54 PM
#20
Just a small point but I don't believe the Mrs is legally allowed to change the locks, in fact I know that this is the case with a friend of mine in a similar situation - Absolute no-no to do that.
Get legal advice rapid, wise up & stop drinking, She's prob just putting you through as much pain as she can to give you a taste of what she has gone thru.
I hope you two can get thru this - talk to her
Might make you a stronger couple in the long run - she did say she was prepared to put it behind her to give it another go. She'll come round but you are gonna spend some serious time making things better (years and years and years) is she worth getting whipped for life ??
EDITED TO ADD
Hmm - Just re read original post. Not sure this is legit. Says he fell in love with the other woman (maturity issue here as it appears to be primarily linked to sex) also fails to mention love for wife ??
Get legal advice rapid, wise up & stop drinking, She's prob just putting you through as much pain as she can to give you a taste of what she has gone thru.
I hope you two can get thru this - talk to her
Might make you a stronger couple in the long run - she did say she was prepared to put it behind her to give it another go. She'll come round but you are gonna spend some serious time making things better (years and years and years) is she worth getting whipped for life ??
EDITED TO ADD
Hmm - Just re read original post. Not sure this is legit. Says he fell in love with the other woman (maturity issue here as it appears to be primarily linked to sex) also fails to mention love for wife ??
Last edited by jods; 22 August 2005 at 10:58 PM.
22 August 2005, 11:12 PM
#22
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 48,539
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Hi Mr Timothy,
One thing you need to remember-
You didnt give yourself this life,you have no right to end it! You NEED to live! Things will get better.
We all make mistakes,big and small.You will get through this.
Do yourself a favour,STOP DRINKING! Alcohol is a depressent FGS! All it gives is pessimistic thoughts after you have woken up.Just bear the pain without it.Dont run away from anything,FACE IT!
Take it easy,Try to feel normal.Always look for the examples that are worse than yours.Theres much more happening in this world which is far worse, man!That will make you feel more positive.As I said before,things will get better.
All the best and keep your chin up.Tomorrow will be a better day
One thing you need to remember-
You didnt give yourself this life,you have no right to end it! You NEED to live! Things will get better.
We all make mistakes,big and small.You will get through this.
Do yourself a favour,STOP DRINKING! Alcohol is a depressent FGS! All it gives is pessimistic thoughts after you have woken up.Just bear the pain without it.Dont run away from anything,FACE IT!
Take it easy,Try to feel normal.Always look for the examples that are worse than yours.Theres much more happening in this world which is far worse, man!That will make you feel more positive.As I said before,things will get better.
All the best and keep your chin up.Tomorrow will be a better day
22 August 2005, 11:16 PM
#23
Scooby Senior
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: West Yorks.
Posts: 4,130
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
As other people have said on this thread, quit drinking and start thinking forward. Dwelling on the past does not help. It sounds to me as though your girlfriend just wanted you because of the risk factor involved seeing as you are married. Once that was out of the way she lost interest, so don't even waste your time fretting about her. The fact that she was a good ride is always a bitter pill for a bloke, as we tend to think with the contents of our ******** sometimes but with time you will get over it.
Do not pin all your hopes on getting back with your wife - this may be possible but very difficult given the circumstances. She will be thinking she's been blown out twice - once when you admitted seeing the other woman, and twice when you refused her offer to come back. It would appear to me that she has sourced another bloke quick sharp as an intentional jab at you. She wants you to feel like she did and it sounds like its working. By all means try and talk it through, or go to a Relate counsellor, but if you are mentally prepared for the worst then anything else is a bonus.
Don't feel as though the situation is controlling you - you must control the situation, and you can and will.
If things seem like they're totally on top email jo@samaritans.org They are very helpful and none judgemental.
Do not pin all your hopes on getting back with your wife - this may be possible but very difficult given the circumstances. She will be thinking she's been blown out twice - once when you admitted seeing the other woman, and twice when you refused her offer to come back. It would appear to me that she has sourced another bloke quick sharp as an intentional jab at you. She wants you to feel like she did and it sounds like its working. By all means try and talk it through, or go to a Relate counsellor, but if you are mentally prepared for the worst then anything else is a bonus.
Don't feel as though the situation is controlling you - you must control the situation, and you can and will.
If things seem like they're totally on top email jo@samaritans.org They are very helpful and none judgemental.
22 August 2005, 11:28 PM
#24
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Between the Fens and the Wolds.
Posts: 3,027
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The drink wont help...it will only make you feel more down.
As said before, as soon as you take responsibility for your actions and begin to take positive steps to pick your life up again, things will turn around. AND NOT IN ANY WAY YOU IMAGINED THEY WOULD ! Its called LIFE. Grasp it with both hands. Its precious.
Yve
As said before, as soon as you take responsibility for your actions and begin to take positive steps to pick your life up again, things will turn around. AND NOT IN ANY WAY YOU IMAGINED THEY WOULD ! Its called LIFE. Grasp it with both hands. Its precious.
Yve
22 August 2005, 11:44 PM
#26
Scooby Regular
Originally Posted by Chip Sengravy
ahh......I see...:tapsnose:
so which are you?...the hotel hussy or the spurned spouse?
so which are you?...the hotel hussy or the spurned spouse?
23 August 2005, 12:00 AM
#27
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 26,619
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
OK Man - What you need is a reality check - you have fukced up everything you have worked for in your life so far. Drinking wont unfukc it. moaning wont unfukc it. make like a man, get off the bottle, get yourself back to work and start to build a new life. If you really want to end it, just end the life you have screwed up. Walk away - get a ticket to outer mongolia and set yourself up as a professional sucker.... you seem to have a talent for it (most importantly - never trust a woman - they are all after your money or your huge *****, or in my case..........both)
23 August 2005, 12:20 AM
#28
Originally Posted by MJW
As other people have said on this thread, quit drinking and start thinking forward. Dwelling on the past does not help. It sounds to me as though your girlfriend just wanted you because of the risk factor involved seeing as you are married. Once that was out of the way she lost interest, so don't even waste your time fretting about her. The fact that she was a good ride is always a bitter pill for a bloke, as we tend to think with the contents of our ******** sometimes but with time you will get over it.
Do not pin all your hopes on getting back with your wife - this may be possible but very difficult given the circumstances. She will be thinking she's been blown out twice - once when you admitted seeing the other woman, and twice when you refused her offer to come back. It would appear to me that she has sourced another bloke quick sharp as an intentional jab at you. She wants you to feel like she did and it sounds like its working. By all means try and talk it through, or go to a Relate counsellor, but if you are mentally prepared for the worst then anything else is a bonus.
Don't feel as though the situation is controlling you - you must control the situation, and you can and will.
If things seem like they're totally on top email jo@samaritans.org They are very helpful and none judgemental.
Do not pin all your hopes on getting back with your wife - this may be possible but very difficult given the circumstances. She will be thinking she's been blown out twice - once when you admitted seeing the other woman, and twice when you refused her offer to come back. It would appear to me that she has sourced another bloke quick sharp as an intentional jab at you. She wants you to feel like she did and it sounds like its working. By all means try and talk it through, or go to a Relate counsellor, but if you are mentally prepared for the worst then anything else is a bonus.
Don't feel as though the situation is controlling you - you must control the situation, and you can and will.
If things seem like they're totally on top email jo@samaritans.org They are very helpful and none judgemental.
Wife is turning the heat up.
Bint has cooled off.
23 August 2005, 12:22 AM
#29
Originally Posted by fast bloke
OK Man - What you need is a reality check - you have fukced up everything you have worked for in your life so far. Drinking wont unfukc it. moaning wont unfukc it. make like a man, get off the bottle, get yourself back to work and start to build a new life. If you really want to end it, just end the life you have screwed up. Walk away - get a ticket to outer mongolia and set yourself up as a professional sucker.... you seem to have a talent for it (most importantly - never trust a woman - they are all after your money or your huge *****, or in my case..........both)
Limpo
