"It's a guy thing."
Really means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means... "I have no idea how it works.

"We're going to be late."
Really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means... "Are you still talking?"

"It's a really good movie."
Really means... "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."

"That's women's work."
Really means... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"You know how bad my memory is."
"Really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means... "It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means... "What did you catch me at?"

"I heard you."
Really means... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means... "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

 

They're still trying to work out what women really mean

 

 

and they'll never know

 

They're getting somewhere - they've finally worked out that
"I Love you"
really means "I've been a naughty girl"

and "Does my bum look big in this"
means "if you say yes then there's no sex for a month"

The rest of it is still a complete mystery

 

Why would they want to?

 

beats me....

in 1 ear out the other most of the time.

 

Pardon

 

I KNEW IT!!!

Cancel the wedding!!

 

"It's a full 8 inches long"
Really means "It's a full 8cm - I never really got the hang of metric measurements"

 

"I'm gonna give you 10 inches and make you bleed"

Really means "I'm gonna **** you twice and punch you on the nose"

 

I've got twelve inches, but i don't use it as a rule

 

LOL. Why can't women park cars?

Cause men are always telling them that this: -------------> is 12 inches!

Hard to translate a visual joke to text!

NS04

 

Replace all those crappy "what men really mean" answers with a single sentence.

"GIVE ME A *******"

Then you'll be nearer the truth.

 

I've got 12 inches, and use it as a club

 

Here's what they really mean

"It's a guy thing."
Really means... "I can't be arsed explaining it you - you dozy bint."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means... "I'll eat yours too if you want"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means... "STF Up - I'm Busy".

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means... "I can't be arsed explaining it you dozy bint".

"We're going to be late."
Really means... "Stop ******* around with your make up."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means... "Let's ****."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means... "Are you still talking?" Correct

"It's a really good movie."
Really means... "She get's her **** out."

"That's women's work."
Really means... "That's women's work."

"You know how bad my memory is."
"Really means... "STF Up - I'm Busy."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means... "I've been ******** someone else and am feeling guilty."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means... "Get me a plaster you dozy bint."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means... "I can't be arsed explaining it you dozy bint."

"I can't find it."
Really means... "Where the **** have you put it you dozy bint."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means... "Stop ******* picking on me?"

"I heard you."
Really means... "STF Up"

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means... "You're stupid and will believe anything I say."

"You look terrific."
Really means... "You Look terrific."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means... "You've fcuked up the navigation again you stupid bint."

"We share the housework."
Really means... "I make the messes, she cleans them up." Correct

 

Oh so true

 

When a woman says "fine" -- watch out, there's NO bigger danger signal

 

Fine

 

Uh huh

 

perfect pmal

 

 

You and every other man alive...


M