Anorexia
14 October 2005, 02:05 PM
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Anorexia
A mum I know quite well (her lad and my lad are good mates) is in a bit of a mess with an anorexic 14 year old daughter. Diagnosed in May and quite serious as girl is in hospital in the week and home at weekends. Mum is separated from hubby but still friends and he does give some support.
I'm going to keep out of it but would like to be able to offer any advice re support sites or whatever. I have a feeling that if she just went into Google it would just get even more depressing.
I don't want this to be a "Dear Clair" post but if anyone has any direct experience and has some practical advice it would be appreciated. Thanks, David.
I'm going to keep out of it but would like to be able to offer any advice re support sites or whatever. I have a feeling that if she just went into Google it would just get even more depressing.
I don't want this to be a "Dear Clair" post but if anyone has any direct experience and has some practical advice it would be appreciated. Thanks, David.
14 October 2005, 02:09 PM
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David, just be supportive without getting involved with the ins and outs of the condition. Listen to what her Mum needs - she's the one you can help 
14 October 2005, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by angel-eyes
David, just be supportive without getting involved with the ins and outs of the condition. Listen to what her Mum needs - she's the one you can help
david
14 October 2005, 02:20 PM
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Be careful, even offering help sites / groups without being asked for assitance may cause afront. Be there if she needs you and don't judgemental, but I wouldn't suggest leading her in any direction. Be a sounding board to her if it helps and guide her to finding the answers for her self.
(Guess who's just been on a course that involves an element of counselling
)
(Guess who's just been on a course that involves an element of counselling
)
14 October 2005, 02:23 PM
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OllyK.......sounds like pretty sound advice to me. I deal with a number of people with eating disorders through my job and I always leave it up to the experts (at the Hospital).
Midlife.....
PS Olly did you do the "Egan Skiled helper model" course ??
Midlife.....
PS Olly did you do the "Egan Skiled helper model" course ??
14 October 2005, 02:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Midlife......
OllyK.......sounds like pretty sound advice to me. I deal with a number of people with eating disorders through my job and I always leave it up to the experts (at the Hospital).
Midlife.....
PS Olly did you do the "Egan Skiled helper model" course ??
Midlife.....
PS Olly did you do the "Egan Skiled helper model" course ??
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14 October 2005, 07:19 PM
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It is a difficult topic one thing I would say is not to suggest that she will just "snap out of it" this sort of problem never goes away totally though people get better it is frequently lurking in the back ground later in life.
People don’t make a conscious decision to be like this and therefore can’t make a decision to not be like this. A lot of the support as said above is just to make time to listen and not judge. the professionals will be the best at treatment and it sounds like that is happening already, this is a positive step as if the person can see they have a problem with eating then that is the first step. A lot of people seem to refuse to accept this and think the weight is the problem even when extremely thin as their own image differs from what others see. Even when extremely thin they will search their body to find one piece of fat and then continue to starve to get rid of that. Each small reduction in body weight etc is felt as an achievement pushing themselves onwards down this road. Hence recognising that they have a problem is important but the road back is long with frequent relapses. I am sure there is much information out there on the web.
People don’t make a conscious decision to be like this and therefore can’t make a decision to not be like this. A lot of the support as said above is just to make time to listen and not judge. the professionals will be the best at treatment and it sounds like that is happening already, this is a positive step as if the person can see they have a problem with eating then that is the first step. A lot of people seem to refuse to accept this and think the weight is the problem even when extremely thin as their own image differs from what others see. Even when extremely thin they will search their body to find one piece of fat and then continue to starve to get rid of that. Each small reduction in body weight etc is felt as an achievement pushing themselves onwards down this road. Hence recognising that they have a problem is important but the road back is long with frequent relapses. I am sure there is much information out there on the web.
14 October 2005, 07:36 PM
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Thanks Adrian. That sounds very sensible. Even before I posted on here I was certain that it must be left to the experts and all I can do, if anything, is to try and cheer up mum as I can tell it's beginning to overwhelm her. david
14 October 2005, 09:45 PM
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I was watching This Morning on ITV yesterday and there was a bit about a mother and daughter who have written a book about their experience.
It gives both sides of the experience of living with anorexia.
The daughter was very ill and had quite a bit of time in hospital but is making a good recovery now.
Not sure if this is any use but it might help the mum to read how a mother and daughter got through it? May help you get some understanding of what they are going though if you want to go that far??
Anyway here's a link ....
Alice in the Looking Glass: A Mother and Daughter's Experience of Anorexia
Jo Kingsley, Alice Kingsley
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/...707176-9458831
hth
cath
It gives both sides of the experience of living with anorexia.
The daughter was very ill and had quite a bit of time in hospital but is making a good recovery now.
Not sure if this is any use but it might help the mum to read how a mother and daughter got through it? May help you get some understanding of what they are going though if you want to go that far??
Anyway here's a link ....
Alice in the Looking Glass: A Mother and Daughter's Experience of Anorexia
Jo Kingsley, Alice Kingsley
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/...707176-9458831
hth
cath
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