fast bloke

Aww **** he is fooked. he knows I reported him and his kids, so last night when I was letting off fireworks he came out and asked me to stop. I told him to **** off as it was none of his business. He reported me to the fuzz. They called round a couple of hours later, checked the licence and buggered off, agreeing that he must be a couple of sausages short of a BBQ. He obviously thought that they didn't give a flying fek, cos he started letting them off tonight, and letting his 14 yo hood/son light some of them. To repay his kindness I got the video cam out and filmed the heap. Then reciprocated his call to the fuzz ( I know he has no licence cos the guy that sold him the fireworks called me as agreed when I gave him a score yesterday) - Fuzz called round and I told them I had it on 'CCTV' but I accidentally gave them the DVD of him giving said 14yo a lift on the back of a bike while 14yo wasn't wearing a lid. 90 minutes later fuzz are on the phone asking if I will make a formal statement under caution

Gonna make the statement in the morning when I give them the vid of the unlicensed fireworks.

Wonder if social services need a copy of the vids

Anyone give me a what sort of penalty he faces for allowing a 14yo to ride pillion with no lid?

Did I mention that the father stole/TWOCED our kids pumpkin while we were out on Sunday :****:

Bubba po

I love the neighbourly escalation of buggeration in this story.

Swen6

Love thy neighbour

fast bloke

I swear - I had dropped the whole thing until he stole the pumpkin and set it on his front door - I imagine he thought I would call the fuzz and say - "he stole my pumpkin" - can you imagine the crack in the station if you got a call like this

with any luck he will go to jail, his wife will top herself and the kids will be put in a care home, then I can buy the house for 20p and turn it into a games room

hmmm.... did I mention I don't like them that much?

paul-s

Whats the license for fireworks bit all about ? why do you need one ?

Brun

fast bloke

Northern Ireland - you need a firearms licence to buy stink bombs

PG

A right good telling off maybe a slap on the back of the hand. That'll be all.

FASTER MIKE!!

why? would have thought septex was easy to come by

mike

fast bloke

Nah - its a traffic offence - If he let him loose with a chainsaw in the puppy pound he would get a slap.

Anyway - if i don't deem the punishment acceptable I can always play my joker (green card)

fast bloke

mostly cos 'we' (and by that I mean probably 10 people) have a habit of using anything 'bomb' related for purposes that may not be considered entertainment by the entire community

LegacySTi

iTrader: (13)

Very messy. One of these stories where ye read in paper of someone getting stabbed to death. In this case a pumpkin wat?? Gonna get worse before better.....

FASTER MIKE!!

lol

fast bloke

Nah - you missed part one - if I get stabbed to death, it is over loads more than a pumpkin.... but I agree - its gonna get worse for him before it gets better for me, and then its gonna get worse still for him, which will be loads better for me.

dont forget

A pen is
mightier
than a sword

(helps if your 2 ft pen is made from tempered steel of course)

LegacySTi

iTrader: (13)

But its usually never works out for person that deserves!!

fast bloke

dont care - I have more wit and more money than he has - If my wit fails I will move on and take out a contract

Turbohot

LOL

Poor Guy

sti-04!!

FB - Were in NI are you ?

My uncle is getting a bit of grief from some arseh*le with a gypo motorhome, thats worth more than his house (gypo's that is )

I am going over at the weekend to have a word

Diablo

Spoon

Unfortunately the same amount of class it appears fast bloke. Use some of that money of yours and move, it's that simple.

While you are there things will never get any better and in all honesty do you really enjoy the silly games that both families are playing?

It will end in tears and you won't be the family protected.

Oh and don't forget to mention when selling up that your neighbours are scum to prevent the new owners from suing you from withholding important information. (If applicable in Northern Ireland).

fast bloke

yeah - absolutely none - can't be helped

Spoon

I know you appear to brush it off with a smile or two but it might get 'accidently nasty' and you've had all the warning signs in time to act.

I wonder if the rest of your family are apparently laughing that's all.

Swen6

Robbie T

iTrader: (8)

Well i say fair play to ya my man, i hate to back down. Continue what you're doing, make the **** suffer for being a complete *****.

Nice use of cunning, it sounds like exactly what he deserves

Spoon

Take this advice Fast Bloke because I'm sure Robbie will be there to help if need be. Mind you, he'd need to move quick if your house is alight but I'm sure you can count on his support.

Robbie, with experience comes sensability. It's not about backing down it's about doing the right thing for your family before it all goes wrong.

If it can't be solved immediately then it won't be solved at all with arséholes like Fast Blokes neighbour. Plus if you retaliate in a half-hearted way then you don't make yourself look any better.

fast bloke

Spoon - I know that you are 110% correct, and that what I am doing is very childish. I think it is time to bury the hatchet. Now - who should I bury it in first.

SJ_Skyline

It's your neighbour I feel sorry for. Imagine having to live next to some pikey with a mobile home parked on their drive!



Only joking mate! hope he gets his just deserts!

Spoon

You can't be 110% correct, ask Bubba.

If you enjoy the fued then carry on, I'm sure your children will love it. Just think of the fantastic example they can carry into adulthood, assuming of course the **** next door doesn't do anything stupid that prevents them seeing adulthood.

hedgehog

Hey, fast bloke I know a few folks in North Belfast who will shoot him in the knees for a few quid in the spirit of peace and reconcilation. They will only do it in Prod areas, you know how it is, but if you need something on the other side you'll not be short of options either though they aren't allowed to do shootings at the minute until the dust of decommissioning settles. You can still get a nice line in nailing people to the floor boards and beating them with baseball bats and if you attach a few fairy lights to them it is a great Xmas treat for the kids.

They did 7 people in and around my street in a week and it was all nice and neat, no one ever caught, no idea where the gun came from or went to etc. etc. Just what you are looking for. If you can wait to January there will probably be a sale and you might get it cheap. Would save a lot of thrashing about with that axe Eugene. They will not think it childish either, it is a vital service to your community, and after Xmas everyone is tight for cash.

No freelancing though, you'll find yourself in deep trouble.