*Sonic*

Little lad ( 4 years old, possible aspergers, and does tend to take things quite literally)

he asked me for something to eat because he had ate all his tea, so I told him to 'kiss my ***' to which he did


and then turned round and said 'Can I have something to eat now'

Brun

davegtt

You told your 4yr old to kiss your ***?

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

my 6 year old regularly says " kiss my ***" although I should be annoyed as a parent, I cant help but laugh at his antics (when he is not looking of course)... when it comes from a sweet looking, butter wouldnt melt in his mouth, little urchin, it just seems funny


so sonic, he is learning quickly. a few years down the road, he will be doing the same for the girls

Smiler

Kiss my ***?

Gee. You must be soooo proud

*Sonic*

he has started saying he doesnt like his teacher and he says 'she is a pain in the ***'

dont know where he has got that from, or many of his other sayings, my guess is from the school yard

He started singing cheeky girls song the other day, foof knows where he has heard that, NOT in this house !!!!

ive currently got him trying to look at his ears, and his hair

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

if you have kids yourself mate, you will see the funny (i am not showing it though) side of it. kept in check, it is no harm.

sti-04!!

Your comments are not welcome on this thread.

Sonic is sharing a moment with us all ...... i take it you dont have kids ????

Your uneducated comment tells me so.

stilover

Was round my mates house on Sunday, after helping him take his 3 year old daughter and 9 month old son to a Christmas party organised by the local village for all the children.

I get on well with his Daughter, she's always asking if I'll be coming round to play games with her. After an hour or so of playing games with her, she said she didn't want me to leave ........... ever, and asked if I'd sleep with her.

Que lots of sucking through teeth, and smirks all round

















I did tell her to ask me again in 16 years time though

sti-04!!

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

I am glad this thread is all being taken in the manner it should

I have regular "coffee on the monitor" moments with mine...most of the time I am mortally embarressed if they say things in public (followed by loads of hands over mouths and shooing them away ).

Best one I can remember (out of hundreds), was in the local swimming pool, when my eldest decided his dad needed a new girlfriend and went about swimming up to various females in the pool and asking them if they had a boyfriend and would they like to kiss my dad

Lets just say, I sunk under water and did my personal holding breath time

Maz

iTrader: (34)

Your story has reminded me of an incident with my eldest lad who at the time was about three or four. I was playing on the Playstation a game called Crash Bandicoot. He was sat at the side of me watching extremely intently. I got to a particularly difficult bit and ended up dying. As soon as I died he gasped 'dead f*ckin hell!' I was so shocked at his outburst that I was speechless, he knowing that he had done something wrong carried on looking at the screen intensely in complete silence. It was such a funny moment I just burst out laughing after a few seconds. Kids eh, they come out with the funniest remarks!

sti-04!!

I dont believe that for a minute

You must have mentioned it at one point & the kids have took it quite literally.

Shame on you

sti-04!!

tarmac terror

iTrader: (2)

Several of these spring to mind. My son was about three at the time;

First time he'd ever saw a black woman in a brightly coloured jamacian dress type thing - he stood in the middle of the shop pointing and laughing, I was so embarrassed but couldn't help but laugh at his antics.

He saw a builder working at my house during the summer months. The guy had taken his shirt off because it was a warm day. He was totally bald, but had a lot of hair down the front of his body. Ryan pointed laughing and said look daddy, that man has swallowed his hair.

My nephew who is just over 2 years old was at my house last week - there was an ad on tv with a fit bird standing in the shower. James said "I'd like to play tickley with her!".

The same nephew saw a photo of his dad with Sandra Bullock, and said "I have big kisses for her".

Enjoy their innocence while it lasts, it will be gone too soon.

*Sonic*

Thanks for the support, and sharing your funny moments

I didnt post the thread for the bad talking, it was just one of those funny moments

Made me laugh the other week, when the little one woke up, stood up in bed and her pj bottoms were above her knees and she turned to me and said

'My Trouser sleeves wont go down'

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

damm, busted

well they are a damm sight cuter than me, so its better than sending out to work up chimmneys

ScoobyDriverWannabe

I know its a case of holy thread resurrection, but..

My nephew just explained to me why the Stig must be black.

The stig birthday cake he had was chocolate cake inside, if he was white normal sponge would have been used.

He even saved me a leg to back up his theory.

Hysteria1983

A few weeks ago my 4 year old son came out with "what's that in the sofas **** crack?"

Under normal circumstances I would just ignore it, and laugh quietly as it was only a minor thing, but my very strict mother was visiting, and any bad language is just not tolerated.

She simply turned to me and said "yes Kathryn, you did hear him correctly!"

I was mortified, but not at my son, but the fact my mum made me feel like I was 14 and calling the dog a silly bugger all over again.

mart360

I tend to be straight to the point with my youngest, and tell it how it is

The other half tends to gloss over stuff and downplay any seriousness

Last week he'd found an old sweet container / pump style thing which he'd

filled with water, and was drinking.... (been in his room for about a month).

We both told him it wasnt a good idea, and he tried to make out he

hadn't drunk it.

We pushed him a bit more and he stuck it out

Then the element of worry popped up

"What could happen if the water was old he asked"

Me, straight to the point, "well you could get sick"

"And die?" asks the youngest

Me, " Its Possible, depending on what you drunk, but as you didnt

drink anything youve nothing to worry about have you"

The bravado is now starting to wain, so he fires the same question at my

Mrs.

She replies, " You may get a tummy ache, but thats about all, and you

wont die, dont listen to your dad !!!"

littleun wanders into the front room, contemplating..

My Mrs turns to me and says " you'll make that boy paranoid, telling him

things like that." I try to defend myself but get cut short by the

youngest running back in shouting "

"It's OK mum i'm not paralysed, look my legs are ok "

Paranoid / paralysed, dont you just love kids.


Oh and he was fine BTW, but he now knows not to drink from old sweet

containers

Mart

SJ_Skyline

My two (two and a half years old) have started refering to all forms of motorsport on the telly as "Go Lewis"

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

Our little 5 year old angel was feeling abit poorly and asked for some 'tadpole '







Ah, right you mean this stuff !!

mart360

Superb


Mart

ScoobyDoo555

When I eldest was about 3 or 4, she'd walked into the bathroom whilst I was submerged and chiseling the dirt and grime off.

She walked back out, at which point I heard her say ,"Mummy, why's Daddy got a tail?"........

I nearly drowned with chuckles!!


The other one was my youngest pointing out the obvious - I've got a black Labrador. He's quite partial to helping himself to the food on the BBQ.....

Sooo... imagine my shock at (1) my having to shout, "Oi, get away from the food, you b@stard!"..........

Seeing the dog skulking away, my daughter proceeds to slide down her slide saying, "Yes Daddy, he's a black b@stard"......

I had to double-check none of the neighbors had heard!!!

Kids eh?

Dan

Terminator X

iTrader: (7)

No wonder the worlds f*cked up

TX.

Edit - just read whole thread & see intended spirit ... IMHO 4yr olds shouldn't be saying stuff like that, thin end of the wedge.

legb4rsk

My daughter,aged about 6, brought a friend home from school.
When she left I asked my daughter where she was from.She said 'malicious'

I later found out it was Mauritius.

madscoob

iTrader: (3)

my ryan 4at the time came out with a classic outside playgroup . after watching kevin n perry go large , a woman as round as she is tall wadelled past swinging from side to side . ( she is so fat she has 3 ***** ) and he shouts out at the top of his voice DAD LOOK I REPLIED WHAT , HE SAID BIG GIRL BIG GIRL , i fell off the wall and tryed to bury myself inside my coat as she turned around , the poor woman next to me went bright red burst into hysterics and collapsed in a heap on the floor .. it was not a pretty sight . big girl goes hummmph and waddeled off .

Will

Brilliant

badboyz666

LMFAO

Leslie

It is funny what children will say sometimes. My little girl used to call Swarfega "Sore Finger".

I don't like hearing bad language from them though.

Les