Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
19 April 2007, 11:55 AM
#1
Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other
religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception
of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects
- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider
your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed
to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.
religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception
of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects
- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider
your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed
to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.
19 April 2007, 12:23 PM
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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other
religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception
of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects
- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider
your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed
to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.
religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception
of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects
- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider
your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed
to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.
You must be a fundamentalist something to worry so much about folk that make up a very small percentage of the population.
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19 April 2007, 01:31 PM
#8
Scooby Regular
On a church around the corner from my house there is a banner that reads "He is risen He is risen again", apart from all of the belief's etc surrounding this the words are just bad english, should it not be "He has risen He has risen again".
Windyboy (all women kneel before me and worship my altar
)
Windyboy (all women kneel before me and worship my altar
)
19 April 2007, 03:16 PM
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19 April 2007, 04:11 PM
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On a church around the corner from my house there is a banner that reads "He is risen He is risen again", apart from all of the belief's etc surrounding this the words are just bad english, should it not be "He has risen He has risen again".
Windyboy (all women kneel before me and worship my altar )
Windyboy (all women kneel before me and worship my altar
)
And actually, though it is an archaic usage, He is risen remains gramatically correct.
SB
PS All the initial post was drivel, though. Apart from the last statement (#1 for some odd reason) which was bang on...
Like I made it up... I couldn't spell most of the words
20 April 2007, 05:25 PM
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10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other
religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception
of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects
- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider
your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed
to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.
religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception
of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects
- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider
your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed
to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.
What are you actually trying to achieve by making it?
Les
20 April 2007, 07:39 PM
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they love it they do..
Hindus favorite drink?, reincarnation Milk
You buddah believe it matey
Religion is for backwards plebs.
Modern religions such is islam and christianity are no fun, the earlier religions were much better..
21 April 2007, 02:17 PM
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CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
(TURN AND FACE THE STRAIN)
CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
DONT WANT TO BE A RICHER MAN
CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
(TURN AND FACE THE STRAIN)
CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE A DIFFERENT MAN
TIME MAY CHANGE ME
BUT I CANT TRACE TIME!
23 April 2007, 04:21 AM
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A rather pointless and particularly puerile post which if anything is outside the terms of this forum in that it is apparently designed to be insulting to those who hold Christian beliefs with no form of provocative statement in the first place, and for that matter is largely inaccurate in any case.
What are you actually trying to achieve by making it?
Les
What are you actually trying to achieve by making it?
Les
23 April 2007, 04:35 AM
#22
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23 April 2007, 09:50 AM
#23
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Anyway, he's not poking fun at all Christians, just those extremists who fit most of those points.
And, after all, it is just a bit of fun. I would laugh at a similar thread about 'Top Ten SIgns You're An Atheist', lighten up.
Geezer
23 April 2007, 11:16 AM
#25
I think you'll probably find its people like yourself with no sense of humor that cause all the problems 
You have to admitt its an interesting set of points and quite true !
Saying that I'm sure someone will come back with 10 reasons why I should believe in God, if so I'd be more than happy to read them !!
23 April 2007, 01:03 PM
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CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
(TURN AND FACE THE STRAIN)
CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
DONT WANT TO BE A RICHER MAN
CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
(TURN AND FACE THE STRAIN)
CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE A DIFFERENT MAN
TIME MAY CHANGE ME
BUT I CANT TRACE TIME!
(TURN AND FACE THE STRAIN)
CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
DONT WANT TO BE A RICHER MAN
CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
(TURN AND FACE THE STRAIN)
CH _ _ CH _ _ CHANGES!
JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE A DIFFERENT MAN
TIME MAY CHANGE ME
BUT I CANT TRACE TIME!
23 April 2007, 01:35 PM
#27
Pimmo, Though you may not ask for forgiveness from other christians, you are forgiven as it is the christian thing to do, and hence forth may you enter the kingdom of God. May the holy spirit be with you.
Amen...
Now lets do a list for Islamic Fundimentalists...........
Amen...
Now lets do a list for Islamic Fundimentalists...........
23 April 2007, 03:42 PM
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Les
24 April 2007, 02:29 AM
#30
It seems pretty obvious that you were out to denigrate those who are Christians with your original post. There is no way that you can try to laugh it off. It is quite unnecessary for you to make an **** of yourself with such an unpleasant and innaccurate tirade especially when no one has done a similar thing to you because of your beliefs. You might try to tell us all it was just a bit of fun but be in no doubt that it is particularly offensive. Anyone can see that rather than being meant as a joke, it was a deliberate attempt to undermine Christianity and those who follow it.
Les
Les
Or maybe, just maybe I read this on another forums and thought I might get a reaction from Scoobynet..
Do you honestly think I care about someone elses beliefs enough to either type this out or really care what you all think about it ? No not at all.
So for those who had a chuckle and moved on, thread served its purpose, those that sat and cried about it
Feel free to pick at my beliefs ... I have none
