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Old 20 May 2007, 02:31 PM
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little rick
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Default Threatening phone calls

Sorry should have posted in NSR

Thought I'd ask here to try to get some neutral opinions

I'll try to keep a very long story short

I had a relationship break down about 18 months ago and from this relationship I have a daughter who's coming up to 2.
Pretty much since the week after the break up I've had funny phone calls ranging from threatening me if I try to see my daughter again to just trying to wind me up
I got to the point of normally puting the phone on the side and go to make a cup of tea - by the time I come back they've gone

I'm fairly sure my ex's new boyfriend is behind it but can't prove it (he was involved in what broke us up) - numbers are normally withheld but had a couple from payphones - and a few dodgy emails from a web based system that doesn't ask for any info on you when sign up (I tried it myself)
Never wanted to get the police involved as I see that as a waste of time and there's a possibility my ex is involved in it all - with everything she's put me through for some stupid reason I still love her
I've always ignored them thinking it was all mouth - despite nearly being attacked on a previous visit and having all my wheel nuts loosened on another

Anyway - its all going through court and I've got limited supervised visits to my daughter
A couple of days ago I got a call saying if I try to see my daughter again they'll hurt her

I've confronted my ex about it and she's giving the impression she knows nothing about it and doesn't know who's making the calls - and if anyone tries to hurt my daughter they'll answer to her and new boyfriend

So what do I do?
I can't be sure who's making the calls
I've never been bothered if anyone was trying to break my legs - I was going to see my daughter no matter what
But now they're threatening her it puts a different twist on it

There's far too much emotion involved for me to make a logical assesment so any input is appreciated
This isn't a wind up so please keep the mickey taking to a minimum

Last edited by little rick; 20 May 2007 at 02:37 PM.
Old 20 May 2007, 02:44 PM
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Deano22uk
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no messing around-straight to the police with this one. Too big for you to tackle on your own. good luck

Lucy
Old 20 May 2007, 02:54 PM
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Dan W
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Definately go to the police. Threats to harm children are extremely serious even if the person making them has no intention of carrying them out.
Old 20 May 2007, 03:05 PM
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If your ex is not involved in any way she should be encouraging you to go to the police if any threat involves her daughter.

Likewise if she has any knowledge and it happens to be her new bf she needs to have a good long hard look at herself. Using a child in any dispute is beyond contempt and speaks volumes about the man she's with.

The very best of luck.
Old 20 May 2007, 03:10 PM
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Deano22uk
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I agree, ( i have a 2 year old daughter) and if anyone told me she had been threatened I would have picked the phone up myself and rung the police...seems a bit strange she didnt. Either she was aware of it (that would be ultra sick and unbelievable!) or she has suspiscions of who it might be and is going to protect them. Either way if this was a script on a t.v soap you would be shouting at the screen "its the new boyfriend!!!!!"
Old 20 May 2007, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by RLE
If your ex is not involved in any way she should be encouraging you to go to the police if any threat involves her daughter.

Likewise if she has any knowledge and it happens to be her new bf she needs to have a good long hard look at herself. Using a child in any dispute is beyond contempt and speaks volumes about the man she's with.

The very best of luck.
Couldn't have put it better myself.

Suggest you record any further phone calls as evidence. If any more threats against your daughter are made, I would also suggest that you take the issue up with social services - threats like that have to be taken seriously!

Aside from being beneath contempt, I can't imagine what kind of gormless idiot would think that threatening someone's child would make them less likely to visit!!

ns04
Old 20 May 2007, 03:18 PM
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Police. Log future phone calls with any details you have, keep future emails, inform your solicitor, and try fight the urge to go round and kick the s**t out of him (which is what I'd want to do anyhow!) for threatening your daughter.

If its not got anything to do with your Ex then they've nothing to worry about (although from what you've said who else is to gain from you not seeing your daughter? limits the possible culprits), and if it does involve your Ex's BF then I'm sure social services and the courts would be very interested in the results of any police investigation relating to the threats you are getting.
Old 20 May 2007, 03:48 PM
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Get the police involved, next time you get a phone call make a note of the time and date and don't switch off your mobile if it is that you are receiving these phone calls on. Lodge a complaint with the police and get a crime reference number and then get intouch with your service provider for your phone and leave the ref No with them. They will find the number who is making these calls as they can be traced but it's only the police who can get the info on this person. This has happened to me before as someone threatened to burn my house down that night , it was just a random number that someone rang which turned out to be mine! Doh! They were dealt with and received 12 months inside due to it was not his 1st time of this offence
Hope you get sorted mate
Steve
Old 20 May 2007, 05:48 PM
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May also be worth looking into a mobile phone that can actually record conversations, if you don't have one already.

As for the actual threats..............you have no choice IMO..... get the police involved, you'll be amazed just how seriously they take the possibilities of child abuse/violence.

Best of luck mate, I hope it all works out for you and the little one.

Si.
Old 20 May 2007, 07:16 PM
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little rick
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Thanks for all the support

Conversation with local police giving background of threats to me before, reported incident of assault etc etc and new threat - result is........
'Keep a record of any future calls' & 'have you considered changing your mobile number'
As no one has acted on previous threats and I have no evidence that the call actually took place theres nothing to go on

Think I'll email my solicitor and see what she thinks

just to clarify from a couple of points above
Yes my ex knows about the new threats but just dismissed them as she has nothing to do with it and she'll make sure no one hurts 'her' daughter

All calls have been to my mobile

It does record but its so boody fidly to get at the function plus a 'safety feature' is as soon as it starts recording it gives of a nice loud 'RECORDING' to both parties followed by a beep every few seconds

Thanks again Guys (and Girls)

Any further advice/views still appreciated

The 'smashing new boyfreinds skull in' isn't an option either - although I have thought about it
Old 20 May 2007, 07:26 PM
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Simon 69
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Originally Posted by little rick
The 'smashing new boyfreinds skull in' isn't an option either - although I have thought about it
It's always an option. Keep your options open...
Old 20 May 2007, 07:27 PM
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The Zohan
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Originally Posted by Deano22uk
no messing around-straight to the police with this one. Too big for you to tackle on your own. good luck

Lucy
spot on advice - call the Police straight away!
Old 20 May 2007, 07:31 PM
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amazingjames
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i feel for you on this mate but dont let them get to you. i really do hope you get this sorted as if some1 threatend to harm my child id be crazy. its not a nice thing to have to go through and it should never happen to any1. but be strong she's your child dont let her suffer cos of some ******* who shouyld be in a mental home. im sure when i speak for every user on this forum and parent alike that you should carry on seeing her but prehaps keep it to yopurself and only people who have to know but just make sure your there for her,, good luck mate im sure it'l be fine in the end. the bond between a child and her parents is a strong thing to break.. keep your chin up
Old 20 May 2007, 07:48 PM
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Call the Police and tell them the calls were coming from somebody driving while on the phone, that'll sort it.
Old 20 May 2007, 10:16 PM
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Lot's of cheap MP3 players have a voice recording function.

Not sure how well it'd record from the phone though.

Dave.
Old 20 May 2007, 10:36 PM
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Yes my ex knows about the new threats but just dismissed them as she has nothing to do with it and she'll make sure no one hurts 'her' daughter

It should be our daughter and not just hers.Also as stated in previous threads upon hearing about your nasty phone calls a parents instinct is to protect their child/children and she should of encouraged you and her to have gone straight to the police station to report all the threats (strange she didn't).Go straight to the police station if you have not already and report all incidents.As for the new boyfriend don't worry about him he'll keep for a rainy day until you find out if it is him or not and if you find that it is him guess what that day it will be raining.
Old 20 May 2007, 11:38 PM
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What sort of person is this new boyfriend ? is he old young? big small?

In my limited experience threatening phone calls tend to come from the smaller more threatened blokes, or nasty women, people who dont have the physical presence to do it to your face.

This person has tried to scare you and it didnt work, so now they're attacking your emotions.. who gains from you not seeing your daughter? Calls threatening violence can lead to prison time so this isn't some random caller! I'd put my money on one of the boyfriends mates.. you know so he was witnesses it wasn't him !

Blow some smoke, change your mobile and ONLY give the number to your EX no one else at all. If you get a call you know the source !!
You have to make sure she thinks everyone has your new number.
Old 20 May 2007, 11:49 PM
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Blow some smoke, change your mobile and ONLY give the number to your EX no one else at all. If you get a call you know the source !!
You have to make sure she thinks everyone has your new number.[/QUOTE]

Thats a good suggestion. I really feel for you - this is a horrible situation to be in.

As others have said - keep involving the police and keep a log of all calls. Keep your dignity and resist the urge to retaliate - it will not help your daughter. You need to be able to look her in the eye and know that you have done nothing to lose her respect. (I know she is only 2 but......its about self respect too).
B-B
Old 21 May 2007, 10:11 AM
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little rick
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Originally Posted by pimmo2000
What sort of person is this new boyfriend ? is he old young? big small?

In my limited experience threatening phone calls tend to come from the smaller more threatened blokes, or nasty women, people who dont have the physical presence to do it to your face.

This person has tried to scare you and it didnt work, so now they're attacking your emotions.. who gains from you not seeing your daughter? Calls threatening violence can lead to prison time so this isn't some random caller! I'd put my money on one of the boyfriends mates.. you know so he was witnesses it wasn't him !

Blow some smoke, change your mobile and ONLY give the number to your EX no one else at all. If you get a call you know the source !!
You have to make sure she thinks everyone has your new number.
New boyfriend is similar age to me (mid 20's) - he's not particularly big but I am 'little rick' because I'm not eactly 'built' he's a fair bit bigger than me - although my ex tells me he is scared of me (I think I would be if I stole someone elses gf and child)
I have thought about it being the ex's mother - she always hated me and put pressure on for my ex to get solicitors involved and told her not to let me see my daughter

I'm pretty convinced the person making the calls isn't the person who had the idea to make them so the friend part is a good possibility

I like the buy a sim card, give the number to only my ex and see what happens idea - although it might only show that whoevers doing it has access to her phone to get the number??
Anyone know where I can get a sim that wouldn't be registered to me?
I don't want anything coming back with 'well its in your name so anyone could find it out with the right resources'

We live 150miles apart so making her think that was my new genuine number wouldn't be a problem - she only has contact with one of my friends so I could just give it to him aswell
Old 21 May 2007, 10:27 AM
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The Zohan
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Originally Posted by little rick
New boyfriend is similar age to me (mid 20's) - he's not particularly big but I am 'little rick' because I'm not eactly 'built' he's a fair bit bigger than me - although my ex tells me he is scared of me (I think I would be if I stole someone elses gf and child)
I have thought about it being the ex's mother - she always hated me and put pressure on for my ex to get solicitors involved and told her not to let me see my daughter

I'm pretty convinced the person making the calls isn't the person who had the idea to make them so the friend part is a good possibility

I like the buy a sim card, give the number to only my ex and see what happens idea - although it might only show that whoevers doing it has access to her phone to get the number??
Anyone know where I can get a sim that wouldn't be registered to me?
I don't want anything coming back with 'well its in your name so anyone could find it out with the right resources'

We live 150miles apart so making her think that was my new genuine number wouldn't be a problem - she only has contact with one of my friends so I could just give it to him aswell
Rick

PM me with your details and i will send you an unregistered, un-used unopend 02 Pay-G sim for nowt if this will help.
Old 21 May 2007, 10:40 AM
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Thanks Paul

YHPM

Old 21 May 2007, 10:57 AM
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Thumbs up

Originally Posted by little rick
Thanks Paul

YHPM

No problem, i have replied to ya

Paul
Old 21 May 2007, 01:31 PM
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Orange - the Orange shop
Old 21 May 2007, 03:32 PM
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Holy Ghost
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Exclamation

Originally Posted by little rick
Sorry should have posted in NSR

Thought I'd ask here to try to get some neutral opinions

I'll try to keep a very long story short

I had a relationship break down about 18 months ago and from this relationship I have a daughter who's coming up to 2.
Pretty much since the week after the break up I've had funny phone calls ranging from threatening me if I try to see my daughter again to just trying to wind me up
I got to the point of normally puting the phone on the side and go to make a cup of tea - by the time I come back they've gone

I'm fairly sure my ex's new boyfriend is behind it but can't prove it (he was involved in what broke us up) - numbers are normally withheld but had a couple from payphones - and a few dodgy emails from a web based system that doesn't ask for any info on you when sign up (I tried it myself)
Never wanted to get the police involved as I see that as a waste of time and there's a possibility my ex is involved in it all - with everything she's put me through for some stupid reason I still love her
I've always ignored them thinking it was all mouth - despite nearly being attacked on a previous visit and having all my wheel nuts loosened on another

Anyway - its all going through court and I've got limited supervised visits to my daughter
A couple of days ago I got a call saying if I try to see my daughter again they'll hurt her

I've confronted my ex about it and she's giving the impression she knows nothing about it and doesn't know who's making the calls - and if anyone tries to hurt my daughter they'll answer to her and new boyfriend

So what do I do?
I can't be sure who's making the calls
I've never been bothered if anyone was trying to break my legs - I was going to see my daughter no matter what
But now they're threatening her it puts a different twist on it

There's far too much emotion involved for me to make a logical assesment so any input is appreciated
This isn't a wind up so please keep the mickey taking to a minimum
**

as you're being harassed by phone, call the BT Nuisance Call Bureau right away on 0800 661441 during normal office hours. i've done work for the NCB in the past and they take this very seriously (and work closely with the police as bad cases are usually a criminal breach of Section 127 of the Communications Act 2003). doesn't matter if the originating call number is blocked. they'll sort you out. good luck.
Old 21 May 2007, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Holy Ghost
**

as you're being harassed by phone, call the BT Nuisance Call Bureau right away on 0800 661441 during normal office hours. i've done work for the NCB in the past and they take this very seriously (and work closely with the police as bad cases are usually a criminal breach of Section 127 of the Communications Act 2003). doesn't matter if the originating call number is blocked. they'll sort you out. good luck.
even if the calls are on him mobile ?
Old 21 May 2007, 04:34 PM
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yes. the exchange can see all the numbers, it just knows to withhold it.

If they didn't know the number they wouldn't be able to send a bill.

same if it is mobile to mobile. The only spanner in the works is if they have a pay as you go phone they bought for the purpose but most aren't clever enought o sort this option out.

good luck, get them shopped asap!

5t.
Old 21 May 2007, 07:58 PM
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little rick
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Thanks guys

Just had a little look into all that and caller could be looking at 5 years in prison

Not mad keen on getting the police involved after my conversations with them so far - plus I can't be sure my ex isn't in on it
want to try to rule her out first so gonna go down the new sim card route - Paul's sorting me one - cheers mate

At least that way I can either go to the police with 'I don't think she's involved because...' or confront her with 'you're in the s***' and/or straight to the police/number above

Thanks again guys - you've all been a great help and I can't thank you enough
Old 22 May 2007, 07:24 AM
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Good Luck Little Rick

What a horrid story, feel for you.

Always keep the police informed, hopefully this can be ended quickly, it's not worth trying to play mind games with the ex and her bf, there people clearly have no morals or class and the mind games would be wasted on them.

And the biggest victim of this is "your" 2 y/o daughter, how sad that someone wants to use a small child in this way, she deserves better than this at least. You need to focus and bury the "I don't know why but I still love her" thought, she clearly doesn't love you, althouigh I'm guiessing does she pander to your "love" for her on ocassion ? using you and fooling with your mind, you've got to be strong and concentrate for the sake of your daughter.


Best of Luck
Old 22 May 2007, 10:00 AM
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My word Funkii Munkii - thats spot on - do you know my ex?

If not you should be a psychological profiler (if you're not already)

Bit of a slap in the face with the she clearly doesn't love me - but thats why I posted on here - to get views of people who aren't emotionally invloved

Thanks for your views - they make a lot of sense but I'm either too close or too stupid to realise them for myself
Old 22 May 2007, 11:12 AM
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Lol No, I know my ex wife, the manipulative biatch, sorry for the slap in the face, it didn't mean to come across as such but all the signs were in your posts, I did the same thing for 3 years after we split mainly because of my son but also because I felt like you did, she knew I still hoped we could get back together and played me like a fool, I tell you what though the day I woke up and realised what had been going on my life changed for the better, I then had the upper hand when it came to her mind games and within a couple of months she realised and that was then end of it, since then she has been rather polite, I still don't trust her 8 years later !!


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