alcazar

iTrader: (2)

Just wondering, since I'm the sort of person who will basically do owt for anyone who asks.

Recently, however, I've needed stuff done for me, and having approached one or two people who I've done stuff for in the past, have been politely refused

Now don't get me wrong: I DON'T do favours for folks in the hope of getting them back, in fact I rarely ask anyone a favour, but I DO feel that it ought to work both ways.

Comments?

Alcazar

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

It should work both ways, but unfortunately it rarely seems to. I never give to recieve, the same as you. It does get frustrating at times though, when you are willing to do anything for people, but it always seems that you are never treated the same way in return.

I don't know you, so speak only for myself, but I'm really soft, and would go out of my way for others, I honestly think others take advantage and as such I have become a doormat.

Sonic'

Im the same really. rarely refuse anyone any help, and rarely ask for favours

davegtt

Always do favours for others, infact, Im usually found putting myself out to do the favours, cancelling my own things etc, Im a sucker for not saying no...lol But its nice to get a bit of self happiness for it

On the other hand I always feel guilty if I have to ask a favour and very rarely ask, Im usually very desperate for something if I have to ask and it'll be family I'll turn to before asking a friend.

monotokpoint

I'm both a giver and a taker

Snazy

Paying it forward is the way I do it
Do a good deed to another and they will in turn pay it forward to another

Something like that.
I dont do things for return, but am always happy when someone feels obliged to.

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

I have a simple rule.....

Dont eat yellow snow!

Oh wait, wrong one:

Don't do someone a favour expecting it to be repaid and you can't go wrong!

The thing about yellow snow was good advice too though!

Brendan Hughes

Seriously - is the word "favour" loaded? As opposed to "good deed", or help?

Just a thought.

BTW I am as others above

PeteBrant

Depends what the favour is - As a rule, I wouldn't ask anyone to do something I wouldn't feel comfortable doing myself, or things that are taking the ****. (DIY jobs etc excepted)

StickyMicky

only a close group of mates, because i know i will get favours back in return if needed, and have done in the past

OllyK

I think the issue is the size of the favour. I got pi$$ed off with being the PC helpdesk for everybody in the village so I won't help anybody other than immediate family out with PC issues now. Other than that, if I can help I will.

Sonic'

Olly, why is it that if you are in IT, you tend to get family friends and all n sundry asking for your help for free

Now go ask a plumber/electrician/plasterer/decorator/mechanic etc etc mate to help you and they give you a quote

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

I have no problem at all with going out of my way to help friends and do them a favour etc. I rarely expect anything in return and certainly no payment of any kind for my professional services in my own time. Why should I ? its my free time and they are friends.

but woe betide the person who takes the **** by not helping me when I need it. that drives me mad

New_scooby_04

iTrader: (4)

So, you've never asked your G/F to do you a favour you definately wouldn't do yourself?

Seriously, I look at it this way: a good deed is a good deed. I don't expect them to be 'paid back' However, if I found myself in a situation where I was consistently doing all the favours and couldn't rely on someone to help me out, then I'd have to question whether it was a wise position for me to be in!

Ns04

OllyK

I know, tell me about it. Have you noticed how it's always "Oh something's just playing up, I'm sure it will only take a couple of minutes later"

Followed up by trying to back up a machine that rife with viruses because they've been on every **** site this side of Saigon, format, rebuild only to be asked if you wouldn't mind installing this bit of software that requires a machine with twice as much RAM as the POS they have and then get asked to supply and fit said RAM, and do you so much as get offered a cup of coffee? And if you tell them they need to take in to a proper repair shop they complain about the poor service you give.

and breath...

ex-webby

There is an interesting phenomenon surrounding favours and the value we place on them.

It turns out, that the person who receives the favour places greatest value on that favour immediately after it has been done, and then gradually the value reduces as far as they are concerned.

In contrast to this, the person who has given the favour, values the favour MORE as time goes on.

This means that those who have given favours in the past, often feel fed up when asking to call them in, as they have built up an unreasonably large value in their mind surrounding the favour, and by this time, the recipient of the original favour places very little value on it.

stilover

My favorite word is `NO`

Unless you are an attractive young lady after a Sexual favour. Then the answer is always `Yes`

ScoobyDoo555

I don't expect a favour in return, but all my friends know that there is an unspoken rule (oh the irony!) that if a favour is asked, then it can be called upon at any time.

We're all happy with this, and the only time I will not return any favour is if I genuinely can't do it. But I will always try to source an alternative

It's all about laying down the ground rules in the first place - I've only learnt that through being sh@t on a couple of times (not literally )


Dan

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

generally, i would go out my way to help a mate, or indeed someone id just met, as long in my mind i thought it was a genuine call.

wouldnt say i expect anything in return straight away, but as someone mentioned earlier, you usually have a mate(s) who know stuff about stuff you dont.

would say its about 50/50 with me, but if i do someone a favour, i usually try do it properly and not half arsed

The Chief

I have a very, very select few of 'core friends' who i would do anything for - and i mean anything, likewise they would do the same. I trust them with my life

Outside this magic circle i am extremely helpful but there is a line that has to be drawn, if i think someone is taking the p*** then they get told where to go.

GazTheHat

I'd do anything for anyone (so to speak), i never keep track of who i've done what for.

I'm not shy to ask favours of others though. If they're not willing to help for a half-arsed reason, then i remember that when the table is turned.

Favours should be a currency.

scoobyvirgin

Any chance you can lend me £100? Will pm you my paypal account if you can

Gutmann pug

pretty much sums things up for me

gallois

remember, todays favour is tomorrows task.

NotoriousREV

Don't get me going on this. I've just told a family member to **** off today after they called me in work to fix a problem that was costing them business and demanded my immediate attention. Funnily enough, this is the same family member that charged me full whack for some electrical work...

Sonic'

LOL, tell me about it, I rarely do any computer work thesedays (havent for a long time) for anyone, unless I see some spondoolies

Another thing that annoys me is the amount of times on sites that I get asked about peoples home computers and how to fix them

Usually spyware and adaware related problems too

I can honestly say I have never had any work done by friends/family etc free of charge as a favour, ive always been charged the going rate, which I dont mind paying as long as they dont mind paying me the going rate to fix their PC's

Shark Man

Payment in kind; There is no better way

There are peopel I know who are leachers and ask stuff all the time without thought, and come up with every excuse under the sun should one ask a favour of them. They get given my sod off treatment and admitedly, if they do owe me...I do get some sick satisfaction should they end up in sh*t creak because of it (lessons in life).

On the otherhand, I'm there for people who do me favours

FlightMan

A mate of mine, his wife works for Virgin, always gets me friends and family flights. Saves me up to 60% off the cost of a standard seat. For 2 adults and 2 kids, that can be well over a grand.

I always get him a case of top red wine for his trouble, even though it takes him 2 minutes on the PC. Just seems right. Then when his PC needs fixing I help and await the a case of my own.

Will

My older brother was kicked out of HER house before christmas, he was skint

and i took him in.I went out of my way to make sure he had a fantastic

christmas,food in his belly,warmth etc etc.

He now has a flat. I have broken my 5th metatarsal since before christmas.

I cant drive due to my injury, had to go to hospital for x-ray so gave him a

call, went like this ''can i have a lift to the hospital please' HIM 'jesus im busy,

cant Dad take you' then he put the phone down.

Found out later he was sat on his back side playing his x-box.

What boils my blood is that he is my brother, ok a mate but your own family, ROFL we live and learn i suppose.

Lee247

All right, All right, point taken. How many favours back and what