skoobidude

Yesterday we had the painters in at work. I overheard one telling his mate that he was getting an M3 in a couple of days time. His colleague was very impressed with this until I asked further questions…

Me: “Which model year are you getting mate?”
Painter: “Huh, it’s a BMW 3-series mate!” looks back at his friend laughing..
Me: I know that. I mean, what year is it?”
Painter: “L reg”
Me: “That’ll be an E36, pre-Evolution with a 3 litre engine?”
Painter: “What! No mate, it’s a 1.9”
Me: “You can’t get a 1.9L M3!”
Painter: “Huh, well this one is!”
Me: “No mate, I think you will find it’s probably a 318iS - assuming it is a coupe – with perhaps an M3 body kit?”
Painter: Looks at me blank and a little aggressive.
Me: “I know a thing or two about cars mate. I read about them all the time. Just trying to save you some insurance money” (laughing to myself but helping him out of the embarassing hole he has fallen in)
Painter: Goes very quiet…

Oh dear.


Nick

nik52wrx

Like you say it will be a 318is coupe with an M badge stuck on the back

Shark Man

Oh dear, he seems 2 cylinders short of a 6-pot

Boro

iTrader: (1)

Theres alot of it about. You see alot of cars mis-advertised and if you really dont know all the subtle differences between the models, you can get caught out.

We had a friend bring over his latest car, his words, an Integra Type R dc2 jdm.

As soon as he arrived, we thought it wasnt a Type R cos it was BLUE, lol.

Then you look round all the other missing bits and realised he had infact bought an SiR, oops.

Tiggs

Somewhere theres a painters forum with a post titled "I met such a dork"

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

mate of mine just recently paid £8k for an 02 plate beemer. 100,000 miles in silver coupe i think. think he said its a 318ti sport or something.

he asked me last night if i could help him find the turbo for him as he doesnt think his cars that fast

LG John

I find this quite a lot in life; where someone clearly knows nothing about what they are discussing and I'm left biting my tongue.

Dracoro

Tell him it's easy to find, it's right next to the supercharger...

wwp8

hey guys. how often does these things happen and you're basically screaming with laughter inside, but keeping your most innocent poker face outside?
i had a customer who brought a "know it all friend" to pcw.
the customer said he knows nothing about computers. (honesty out least) BUT his friend is great with computers... "OK" (i thought) every pc they looked at.
his mate scrolled his finger on the spec sheet, and says , yeah thats a good one.
occasionally asking "what that is? " erm.... intel.... is the company sir

MikeCardiff

iTrader: (2)

Reminds me of something that happened just after I got my Impreza. It was parked out on the street and this chavvy looking kid and his girlfriend walked past. The kid starts doing all those weird hand movements and waving his arms around like they do and saying things like 'wikkid' and 'sound' and told his girlfriend he was going to get one of those cars as they were awesome.

'What is it then ?' she says. Chav looks at the boot, which was de-badged, then goes round the front, cant find a badge and looks really confused and just says 'its wikkid innit'.

Account deleted by request

Is watching me play poker one by any chance? All in on a 9d - 2h

chop

LG John

LOL In fairness this is one of the most common things for me. People telling me about a hand that they played 'well' when in fact they made many critical errors!

Devildog

LOL

Tell me about it....that "fuel surge" thread from a while back for a start

richardg

i've got a 500cc m3 in the garage if he wants to save even more on insurance. when you switch the alarm on, it cloaks itself to look like a cinquecento, so no need for a tracker

Fat Boy

LOL

PeteBrant

Precisely. With lots of stories about thick as **** scoobynetter that don't know off hand the correct paint to water ratio for whitewash.


We can't know everything about everything.

skoobidude

My misses said similar

Nick

Brendan Hughes

I bought a 205GTi off a young lad in 1994 (looked about 19, lived in Ascot... I'll let you complete the stereotype) but there was a bit of trouble as it ran jerkily, as he'd just washed the engine bay. He looked apologetic and said "Dad says perhaps the water got into the carburettor."

I said "I doubt it".

LG John

Yeah, you are right. That would be the thread where the most respected tuner in all of Britain (Andy F) agreed with me that on a WOT a sudden lack of fuel into the cylinders would cause engine deceleration greater than just lifting off in a conventional manner. Oh and then there is the fact that I have owned two classic shape Subaru's both of which I can produce full surge in at will, both of which were built in different years and for different domestic markets. Buy hey........what do I know right?





Game. Set. Match.


...next topic please

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

I have the same experience. "Normally" happens only off one particular roundabout on low fuel. I just ease off for that particular corner.

sti-04!!

I had an 04 Blobeye that suffered from fuel surge. So i can concur.

Diablo

Devildog

FFS, does no one round here have a sense of humour any more

Kenny, there was much more in that thread than just fuel surge (which we accept does happen)

NotoriousREV

Someone once told me they'd fitted a dump valve to the auto box of their Peugeot 406 Coupe.

Another mate asked me why my Impreza had an air-powered gear shift.

LG John

There was. I can't remember if it was you or someone else but somebody told me that I had an immature attitude to driving and that I'd be in countless accidents and kill someone. I defended against that accusation and the person said, "you'll say different in 10 years". FWIW, I still think about that post at least 3-4 times a year and I still intended to purchase a full account at around the 10 year mark (must be soon, within next 3 years) so I can search, find the thread and categorically claim that I still have the same attitude (which to date I do), haven't been in crashes that are my fault and haven't killed anyone.


So, neeeeeeeer!


LOL, just lol.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Lad I used to work with telling me his P reg Civic 1.4 had a turbo because he can hear it, he tried to convince me so I said that unless its aftermarket then it isnt turbocharged, I put up with him for a while but he p1ssed me off, wouldnt leave it so I marched him out to it and asked him to show me it, he pointed at most things under the bonnet and I reported on whether it was a turbo, I got bored when he pointed at the airbox.

I showed him mine and he said its not a turbo, even though it said "Saab Turbo" on the cam cover but apparently I had added this feature, I then slammed bonnet on his head, I didnt but I wanted to, I simply explained that sadly I was bound by truth and reality and he could beleive whatever he wants if it helps.

It really winds me up when people talk bollocks about cars (Usually Turbo Diesel owners) and its so enjoyable when you find another genuine petrolhead.

robby

my old boss was the same - he had a 318ti (which is a 1.9 compact) and when i asked what engine it had he said it was a 1.8 turbo
bet his insurance was dear if he told them it had a turbo..........

skoobidude

I've heard on more than one occasion people refering to Close-Ratio Gearboxes being the same as a Short-Shift.

The thread is meant to be for a laugh between us petrol-heads by the way

Nick

mart360

And pray tell, why do Turbo diesel owners talk bollo?

we could be picky and enquire did you have the low pressure turbo unit, or the proppa one

mart

fraser87uk

LMFAO. Genius. I have a "freind" who keeps going on about getting his 1.4 corsa converted to a 2l turbo w.400bhp. Then next week he's buying a mk3 supra (the one with the moustache), then its a skyline, then hes saying he drifted his old punto for 400m etc. Makes my laugh, but drives me mad

GlesgaKiss

Yes but in this case I think he may have known more than he was letting on. Was probably just bragging to his mate about getting an M3 because it would maybe pass for one on a dark night you get that alot as well...pisses me off.