Some kids are quick ....:)
10 March 2008, 10:25 AM
#1
Some kids are quick ....:)
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: ; Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: ; Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: ; Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: ; Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
10 March 2008, 01:27 PM
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A lass i used to go to school with has some top stories as she is primary school teacher. Like the time she was showing around some parents around, little Jane came up and said:
Jane: Miss Stephenson Miss Stephenson
Miss Stephenson: 2 minutes Jane i'm just talking here.
Jane: but Miss Stephenson Johny's trying to screw me in the wendy house.
Cue stunned teacher and parents. It turns out that Johny had a toy drill and was trying to drill her head with it.
Jane: Miss Stephenson Miss Stephenson
Miss Stephenson: 2 minutes Jane i'm just talking here.
Jane: but Miss Stephenson Johny's trying to screw me in the wendy house.
Cue stunned teacher and parents. It turns out that Johny had a toy drill and was trying to drill her head with it.
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10 March 2008, 01:41 PM
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I used to work with kids *shudder* and remember a young girl saying to me "Miss, miss, have you been virgined yet?"
20 years on and I'm still trying to think of an appropriate answer
20 years on and I'm still trying to think of an appropriate answer
10 March 2008, 01:54 PM
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best one i heard was from a girl in my middle school class to our elderly and highly prudish history teacher...
'Miss, whats the difference between a destitute and a
prostitute?'
Astraboy.
'Miss, whats the difference between a destitute and a
prostitute?'
Astraboy.
10 March 2008, 03:58 PM
#13
lol made me chuckle
bit like the one
TEACHER TO CLASS . todays task is make a sentance using the word contageous , Mary u go first
MARY.My brother had chicken pox and my mummy said it was very contageous.
TEACHER . well done Mary , now sally your turn .
SALLY. we went on holiday and had to have injections because there are lots of diseases which are highly contageous.
TEACHER. excellent sally very well done .right now jonny sit down behave and give me a sentance using the word contageous.
JOHNNY. my mummy is always complaining about my daddy and when she was on the phone the other day she said , im fed up of that useless husband of mine he was painting the shed the other day and it took the c*unt ages..
lol old but still makes me laugh
bit like the one
TEACHER TO CLASS . todays task is make a sentance using the word contageous , Mary u go first
MARY.My brother had chicken pox and my mummy said it was very contageous.
TEACHER . well done Mary , now sally your turn .
SALLY. we went on holiday and had to have injections because there are lots of diseases which are highly contageous.
TEACHER. excellent sally very well done .right now jonny sit down behave and give me a sentance using the word contageous.
JOHNNY. my mummy is always complaining about my daddy and when she was on the phone the other day she said , im fed up of that useless husband of mine he was painting the shed the other day and it took the c*unt ages..
lol old but still makes me laugh
Last edited by M444GY; 10 March 2008 at 04:11 PM.
10 March 2008, 06:35 PM
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My wife is a perapetetic Music teacher and dreads when the kids have sex education in the primary schools.
She gets some astonishing questions asked, starting with (but not limited to): So, Miss do YOU have a vagina??? (asked by 10 year old boy)
One of my favourites was one lad was having his lesson and his mates were peering in the window and giggling.. my wife was about to go out and b*ll*ck them when she asked the lad why they were all of sudden acting up:
"Oh, that's 'cos they all think I fancy you miss."
She gets some astonishing questions asked, starting with (but not limited to): So, Miss do YOU have a vagina??? (asked by 10 year old boy)
One of my favourites was one lad was having his lesson and his mates were peering in the window and giggling.. my wife was about to go out and b*ll*ck them when she asked the lad why they were all of sudden acting up:
"Oh, that's 'cos they all think I fancy you miss."
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