rob878

In a David versus Goliath clash played out in my bedroom. A dopey wasp took on a big dopey human in a titanic struggle. Human struck first with an ill placed foot, wasp hit back with a well placed stinger to the big toe. This resulted in the Goliath roaring in pain and crumbling to his knees. However before the wasp could strike the knock out blow, a well placed smash with a shoe wrestled the contest back in the humans favour. The cost was one wasps life, and one bloke roaring in pain asking for the vinegar to be brought in, and trying to explain to the wife that "NO It's not for feckin chips"

Final Score 1 all

hrness

i once jumped over a fence to retrieve a ball and went foot first through a nest, covered in 100s of them, was running around arms waving, stung loads, now if i see one it has to die. hate them with a vengence.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

i only tackle wasps at 5am, naked with no contact lenses in, wafting at the curtains with a copy of Autocar, still it amuses the Milk Man.

rob878

It's bleedin embarrassing i now have a cartoon toe

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Pics, we need pics

Maz

iTrader: (34)

The only weapon effective against wasps is the towel.

rob878

You must be a nightmare in the changing room post gym shower.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

I can flick with the best of them!

rob878

Dear Lord, i feel mildly violated after that admission

Maz

iTrader: (34)

The towel I hasten to add! Right the match is about to start. Night night.

rob878

Laters, i would say i'm going to be watching it but when i lie down i can't see past my toe, so thats watching it on bed out.

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

nah, best is an air pistol

obviously without the pellet in! anything shot close enough stuns them, then move in for the kill

normaly blows them to little pieces but every now and then you get a nasty little blood splat head shot

don't seem to get many indoors now, maybe words gone round

Maz

iTrader: (34)

Well if you're talking powered weaponry then an air powered 2" staple gun is mightily effective too.

abbott

insurance , tax , petrol ... id say we all get stung every day by the government !

hoskib

iTrader: (1)

Lee247

I am really, really sorry, but.....


My imagination took hold there

Lee247

Rob, I agree with Sal, we need a pic of said big toe

Tam the bam

It's only a toe, not a ***** so I think you'd not really be that interested unless you have a foot fetish?

rob878

i get scared when sal and lee start asking about pics, though thankfully they don't have ones of me bent over a car. Unlike some one *cough* tam*cough*

Lee247

Rob, how very dare you

I have a rather nice pic of some RAF chap in full flying gear. Can't think who he is

Tam, shaddit

Tam the bam

In my defence I was rather pissed and getting ordered to do it by a lady who is bigger than me!!

Tam the bam

Go on make me!!










On seconds thoughts, ignore what I just said hunny bunny!

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

I have pictures!!!!

Get.

Out.

Of.

My.

Head!!!!

ScoobyWon't

Stop abusing the traffic warden.

magepaster

iTrader: (2)

When I used to ride bikes I always wore open faced helmets as I hated the feel of full faced.Anyway I was at a rally one weekend in wales and we were blessed with georgeous weather which called for a ride out to Rhyl. So with no consideration for my safety I mounted my bike dressed in jeans and a vest. The ride was brilliant with the breeze cooling my sun tanned body I was lost in the glow of it all when WHACK!.................what the fuOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Oh my God Oh my God Owwww owwwww owwwww all this while trying to pull safely to the side of he road. Once I managed to stop I dragged my lid off and grabbed my ear which was in absolute agony and was swelling in my hand. Stuck to this ear was the remains of a bloody WASP! (I use capitals here as it was a bloody big Wasp)
The Wasp had flown into the path of an open faced helmet doing a steady 60mph. Because this was an open faced helmet it didn't bounce off leaving me safe in the knowledge that I had prevented the black and yellow projectile of death from claiming a new victim. No! Because I was wearing my chosen "protection" the Wasp had managed at high speed to get forced at the aforementioned high speed between my cheek and the ever protectful lid. Before disintegrating it seems the little bugger had managed to leave it's sting in my ear. In the time it had taken to dawn on me what had just happened my ear had swollen almost to the size of my lid which eventually brought me the realisation that the lid would no longer fit my now hugely deformed head.
To get back to the campsite I had to get on the back of a mates trike while his passenger took my bike. To top it all off when the rally was over I still couldn't get the lid on and had wait another day on my own at the site until the ear had shrunk enough to get the lid on.

Wasps! I fookin' hate 'em.






Oh and I'm and little bit scared of them now too. So scared that I made a right tit of myself on a boating lake.......................but that's another story