PG

Please excuse the length of this post but it’s a tricky one and I’d like other people’s opinions on it.
The story begins some 6 months ago when the wife and I received a call from a friend asking if we’d be interested in re-homing a boxer that belonged to a friend of theirs who was being posted abroad with his work and could no longer look after it. She was an 18 month bitch and we decided that if she got on with our dogs then we’d take her.
I received a phone call at work one night from the guy and he asked if he could bring her to us the following day to see if she’d get on with them and if he brought her stuff could he then leave her with us! Talk about short notice!
I was initially hesitant to say yes as who was to say that they would get on in the longer term so with that in mind I asked him what he’d like to happen if they didn’t get on. He said as long as we found her a good home then that’s all that mattered to him. There were tears shed then off he went.
All went OK for the first few days but then things became a little unsettled and the main thing for me was the happiness of the dogs we had already so we contacted the boxer breeder friends we have to see if they knew of anyone looking for a re-home.
As it happened the in-laws really liked the dog and they offered to take her. Father-in-law is medically retired and needed a companion after their other dog was put to sleep a few months previous. Their concern was that the previous owners may want her back however they were assured that this wouldn’t happen as they were abroad now. We let the guy’s sister know that unfortunately things didn’t work out with us however she now has a fantastic home with the wife’s folks and could she let him know.
They have had her 6 months now, changed her name, the papers are in their name, insured her, cared for her, trained her and love her as one of the family.
Then…………..
Last night I get a phone call from the original owner saying that his work had mucked him about and he’s coming back to the UK and they’d like the dog back!
The wife’s parents don’t want to let her go and the previous owners are tugging at the heart strings saying that the kids miss her etc.

What would you do?

Cheers

Paul.

Paul3446

Easy, the dog belongs to your in laws, end of story surely?

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Morning Paul,
Sorry their would be one short answer NO, you wife's parants have taken her in, renamed her, given her a loving home, from what I have read I don't think the guy wanted her in the first place, just wanted to get rid of the poor dog who's life would also be turned upside down, As you and I know Boxers are are beautiful loving breed but you don't mess with their heads, basiclly if I were you I would tell him the dog now has a settled home and in the dogs best intrest it she stay where it is, the poor thing would'nt know if it were coming or going, Let us know how it turns out
Cheers
Colin

PG

Hi Colin, I hope all is well with you and yours.

I don't think it was the case he didn't want her. He was being posted to Iraq then to Germany for a number of years. He was in floods of tears when he left her but having just thought to myself not once throughout the last 6 months did he get in touch to see how she was getting on.
Not having any emotional attachment to the dog myself I can see both sides and feel sympathetic to both but favour the in-laws.
Truth be told I want **** all to do with the situation now!

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

Whay happens when he gets posted abroad again? Check it in to the same hotel?

Tell him to get another dog - no in fact tell him to get another one if he'll be around long enough to see it through.

sti-04!!

Hi Paul,

I would tell him to foof off, you appriecate that he misses the dog but he asked for it to be re-homed. End of mate.

gaz-cole

fair to play to you for giving the dog a new home as it seems your friend?? only wanted the dog as an accessory, and was only to quick to fob him off onto you when an opportunity arouse, so its his tough luck, i hope your in laws enjoy many happy years with the new dog.

ScoobyWon't

Consider a little white lie - Tell them the pooch has gone to doggie-heaven.

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Same answer from me..

Politely tell him sorry but the dog is not coming back to you.

Spoon

What a cheeky, self centered **** that so called friend of a friend sounds. You took the dog in on very, very short notice, did what you could and rightly so put the welfare of your own dogs first. Then your in-laws took her in and went the whole 9 yards with changing her name, paperwork details, insuring her and loving her like she deserved.

You might not be personally attached to the dog but surely you're open to being taken for a mug either. Tell him he gave up the right to the dog the day he dropped her off at your place and its out of your hands now anyway.

Plus, tell him NOT to get another dog but try a mouse for the children.

Leslie

He really is being very selfish. You helped him out with the problem, got the dog all settled in a new home, and now he wants to upset all that!

He has no claim any more and you ought to tell him that straight and that you are not prepared to let the new owners suffer such a disappointment. I would not tell him where the dog is now either. That is bound to cause more trouble.

Les

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Nah, the dog needs to stay where she is, she has had one upheaval and though dogs are resilient it seems a shame to put her through another.

Your friend is indeed being insensitive, its a dog, not a mower, people get attached to dogs (I get attached to mowers as well but thats me) and it was a big ask for you to take the dog but it pales into insignificance at asking for her back off your in-laws once settled and happy.

He has done his separation from the dog so I would imagine has got over it mostly, my suggestion that a suitable compromise would be for him to buy a puppy or rehome another boxer, though given his way of dealing with things perhaps its better that he doesnt, I dont know him and may be wrong but the bare facts dont paint a good picture.

Possibly as a gesture, and as your in-laws got a "free" dog, perhaps if they have some spare cash, they could offer a contribution towards a Boxer puppy as a goodwill gesture.

I would just say no however.

r32

I cant believe he has the cheek. For the sake of the pooch it needs to stay in a settled environment.
Tell him to bog off, and Like Les says dont tell him where it is.

gingerboy

As a boxer owner myself I have to say the answer is simple, tell him to go whistle for his dog...... excuse the pun.

Lets be fair it sounds like the dog is very settled in it's new home and your in-laws are taking good care of it and love it to bits. Maybe the armed forces is not the best vocation in life when considering the needs of a pet if his kids want a pet get a hamster, I assume he could take that with him if he is posted to Germany or anywhere else in the world within reason?

I can only echo what others have said, the dogs head has been messed with and it is now in a caring home - let it enjoy it's life in a stable environment as opposed to being pulled all over the place and dumped when needs must.

Good luck, sounds like you are in a bit of a crappy situation and not pleasent if you have to p*ss off a mate. If he wants it back ask him for rehoming, vets costs, food costs, dog sitting costs (6 months at £20 per day ) lets see what his dog is worth to him then?

Regards and best of luck

GB

Spoon

J4CKO, are you serious? Its has nothing to do with getting a "free" dog. They weren't exactly actively seeking a dog but took her on board.

In the 'off the cuff' way this was handled by a friend of a friend he should have been paying to re-home the dog! Thats how it works in real land.

Then to suggest a donation to help them buy another puppy, well, that takes the dog biscuit.

MMT WRX

Our dog Paddy is 11 now and we rescued him when he was 2 from a couple that split up and didn't want him anymore. 6 months after we had him they came back to ours wanting to take him for a walk and making noises about wanting him back. Paddy made their mind up for them cos he wouldn't leave my Mrs side all the time they were there.

There were a few tears but they left and never returned.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

I know, its just that he seems like they type that might be put of being a pest with a few quid.

Markus

The obvious answer to the prior owners is that no, they cannot have the dog back, mainly you are not the owner of it in the first place, someone else is. The dog has suffered one rehoming, and it would be unfair to do it again.

If your in-laws are listed on any sort of official documentation for the dog as being it's owners then I'd say that this could well constitute legal ownership of said dog, and thus if the previous owners want to argue things, one could comment on the legal side of things, which might shut them up.

shaunywrx

Just tell him "sorry but, you had to re-home the dog, and agreed to have no contact with the new owners" this is what would normally happen, it's best all round for the people and the dog concerned, you can't just keep pushing the poor dog from one person to the next. It seems you've done the decent thing already, and made sure the dogs got a loving safe home, do'nt give in to his emotional blackmail, and good luck :-)

dunx

iTrader: (3)

Agree, you could manage and shipped it out to a good home, signed sealed and delivered.

Bye, and thanks for the call.....

DunxC

Hoppy

Just to give the ex-owners some credit, maybe they are concerned about their ex-dog's welfare?

But if she is happy in her new home, and so are your in-laws with her, then tell them to **** off in no uncertain terms.

Jamo

iTrader: (23)

PG, tell him; no sorry.

hope your ok

little-ginge

Tell him to consider the dogs best interests.. does he really think it fair to uproot the dog after it has settled into a happy and permenant happy home..

If he had loved the dog that much he could have had it quarantined etc and taken it with him surely, or left it with a family member until he knew how things were going with his job - and then made the decision..

Tell him the answer is no - he relinquished the dog, and it now has new owners, and is in a routine. To remove it could be detrimental to the dogs health and well being - and to consider the feelings of your in-laws, who have given this pooch a home and trained/loved her. If the papers are in their name, this guy odesnt have a leg to stand on - sounds like he wants it all his way, and is being extremely selfish

LegacySTi

iTrader: (13)

Agree with above..


Tel him no and that dog is settled in a loving home.

The end........

PG

$hitty phone call allert !

Just had the guy on from Iraq and his wife in the UK!
My wife spoke to him so as to give him the info she got direct from her folks. He started shouting at her!

Looked back my email inbox and found an email from him so sent him a nice little letter: (Jacko, I used your lawnmower analogy, I hope you don't mind.)

Stuart,



I write to you with regards the phone call you had with my wife tonight.

Firstly, I do not appreciate her being spoken to in that manner. I understand it is an emotive subject for you however to deal with it in such a way is unacceptable.

We did a very good thing for the dog in giving her the chance of a home with us here at extremely short notice. Unfortunately that didn't work out and as per our conversation on the night you dropped her off we found her an alternative home that we were sure of and knew she would be looked after. I did ask you that night if you would like to be informed if we had to do so to which your reply was "as long as she's got a good home that's all that matters" your feelings of which seem to have been somewhat lost along the way. At no point have we deviated from that oral contract we had that night.

It is understandable that you now feel that you were forced in to making a decision that you perhaps did not want to make given the circumstances however what you must bear in mind is that we are not dealing with a lawnmower or some other inanimate object that can be given up and taken back at the drop of a hat. Given that you were able to contact me and ask for the dog back then one can assume that you had no interest as to how the dog has been in the time that has passed since you gave her up. (We did however pass on information to your sister when shopping in the supermarket in which she works and asked if she could pass the information on to you.)

That night I was at work and was somewhat taken aback but did promise that I would make a call and see what everyone's thoughts were. Given that the dogs owners were on holiday with her we did not wish to give them such news at that time. However we thought it only fair to everyone involved that we get the dogs owners feelings as soon as we could and My wife called your sister to let her know that they were not willing to give the dog up as they loved her so much.

To ask someone whom has taken the dog in, re-homed her, re-named her, fed her, looked after her medically and loved her and been with her every day since taking her on is very selfish and in my opinion shows absolutely no consideration to the dog in this whole situation.

The happiness and well-being of the dog should be of the up most here not your self indulged feeling of guilt.

Given that you have intimated that you will be taking legal action we too have taken legal advice on this matter. With the oral contract being adhered to, the transfer of legal paperwork and the actions of all parties involved, the legal transfer of ownership has been done to the letter and cannot be legally queried

With this in mind we do not wish to partake in any further correspondence on this matter and will not reply to any further forms of contact.

I'm sorry things have worked out for you the way they have however I'm sure you will be content in the knowledge that the dog has a loving, caring home where all her needs are catered for.



Paul.
.....................................

I did write a shorter version, 2 words in fact but thought this perhaps explained things a bit better

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

excellent letter !!

Keep us informed

LegacySTi

iTrader: (13)

As above.


To the point in a fair polite manner...........

keep us all informed............

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Good work PG, let us know how it progresses.

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Well done Paul, nice one, now get a piccie of her up on here
Cheers
Colin

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

PG, well done, spot on.

However, with regards to the analogy about the Lawnmower, I would like it back, I have taken legal advice on the subject and the analogy belongs to me, its not like its a Dog or anything