If Microsoft made cars...
03 February 2002, 05:41 PM
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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with
the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft; we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre, such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart,in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT",
but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on five
percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor
want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the
car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine.
Joan.
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with
the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft; we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre, such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart,in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT",
but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run on five
percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor
want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the
car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "Start" button to shut off the engine.
Joan.
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