lozgti

And how do you get someone to the docs?

My mother.Late 60's.Fallen out with myself,my brother and sister.Won't see her grandchildren and accuses us all of refusing her which is totally untrue and rather upstting.My sister even lost one of her children in a car crash last year and she wouldn't go to the funeral even.

Told everyone my brother would not take her when the reality is she wouldn't get in his car when he went to pick her up

Fallen out with all her sisters.One died of cancer.Knew she was dying but still would not make up with her.In fact she has fallen out with virtually everyone

This is a small flavour of someone who we all loved but don't recognise now in terms of behaviour.

Anyone had similar or any idea how you get someone to the docs who gets livid if you even suggest it? (not spoken to her for about 2 years now)

PS,my father died a while ago.Have a step father but he is rather brainwashed.As long as he gets his tea he is happy to agree with all she says.

Cheers..I know its a car site but someone might know!

scooby L

Some medication for treating dimentia make people irrational and violent... with angry outbursts... are you sure she's not already receiving anything?

classic Subaru Si

God mate, that sounds terrible - I've no idea if it is dementia or not, but it does sound like it, or maybe a very deep depression?? Do you all still keep in touch with her??

SJ_Skyline

Loz,

YHPM

David Lock

Mother in law developed dementia/Alzheimer's over 10 years. Things can get very nasty I'm afraid. Certainly sounds like something similar is happening. But I am NOT an expert in any way.

I am sure you would get practical advice from a support group somewhere. Much will depend on what your step-dad is prepared to do to help you all.

In m-i-l's case she was sectioned when she got really bad and taken against her will but it had to be done.

Sorry this isn't more cheerful dl

Geezer

My mother has Alzheimers, and whilst her symptoms are not like your mothers, she does sound like she has some sort of onset of dementia.

Sometimes it's an extension of their personality, other times it manifests itself like you describe. It's painful to see the deteriation in your parent(s), I both empathise and sympathise.

If she does not think she is ill, and your stepfather is unwilling to do anything, it may prove difficult to get any help for her.

Does she have any friends that you know she trusts that you can confide in and ask to have a word with her?

If not, try talking to her yourself, explaining that you are genuinely concerned for her welfare, she may listen, you never know, especially if she is not like this all the time. Pick your battles, as it were.

Good luck.

Geezer

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

My mum works in a elderly home as a carer, where they deal with mental health (like a live in place for these folk). Basically they have all means of types of dementia, ranging from the angry outbursts to the things you described above regards isolation. There have been times when she has been doing her rounds etc, when old men/women have deliberatley urinated, even excreted on her hands etc - something I would find hard to deal with, but my mum laughs it off (part of the job description I guess).

But, yeah it does sound like dementia from the information I've gathered and stories told by my mum at her place of work.

lozgti

Cheers folks.

She is old school on the doctor front ie unless an arm has come off avoid doctors like the plague.

I make light of it but about sums it up.One of the main reasons she won't speak to me was when I suggested the doctor.

Thanks again though.Nice just to get it off my chest

David Lock

If you can get your stepfather to agree you could try and contact social services who, despite their reputation, do have some excellent people including those with long experience of dementia. They might agree to call and assess the situation. Mum may throw them out but it's a start anyway. Have you spoken to her GP? d

Leslie

Impossible for any of us to say anything accurate of course. It could be the early stages and she is aware of it and it has had this effect on her.

If she won't go to the doctor then I think you must go yourself, describe the symptoms and get professional advice.

Its a bad situation both for her and your family of course. Hope it turns out alright eventually.

Les

David_Dickson

My mum refused to go to the doctors. Different symptoms to your case, but upsetting none the less. Her refusal to accept help resulted in her being sectioned and taken against her will.
Turns out she has Lewy Body Syndrome, which gives symptoms similar to alzheimers memory problems, coupled with hallucinations, loss of depth perception and a few other things.

Dave T-S

I have experience of this with one in law close to death now having had vascular dementia for some time, and the other in law showing early onset signs.

I wouldn't like to comment in your case as i'm not medically qualied, but from experience frequent signs of dementia (which is a catch all phrase for vascular dementia, Parkinsons, Alzheimers etc), apart from the obvious loss of short term memory etc are:

Agitation and restlessness (often early evening), out of character aggression when put in a situation of discomfort or stress or taken out of normal comfort zone, mistrust such as accusing relatives/close friends of attempting to steal money, and probably one of the most difficult to deal with is often a complete denial situation that anything is wrong, and a refusal to seek help or even discuss.

It won't be easy to deal with, so good luck.