GlesgaKiss

Well I've been feeling terrible today and the problem is guilt.

I've only had one girlfriend that's been the 'real deal' so far, and we split up about a year and a half ago. A year passed and we somehow started getting on really well again...so it was back on temporarily.

But 2 months or so ago she must have decided she could no longer be arsed with the situation, and ignored me for a few weeks. During this time I realised a few things - one being that I was happier without her in my life(less hastle) - so I made the decision to get well and truly rid of her.

She didn't deserve an explanation when she finally got back in touch, as she's already caused me a serious amount of grief, which I won't go into here and bore you all with - more than you already are . So I deleted everything I have of hers that could lead me to getting in touch with her: email address, phone numbers...the lot.

Then, about two weeks ago I start getting texts again(recognised the last 3 digits of her No.) asking how I am doing, as if there is nothing out of the ordinary. I made the decision to cut her off though, so I stuck by it and ignored everything.

Well yesterday I got a text - "you still ignoring me?". obviously, I ignored it. And later on another one asking me what I was doing later: I didn't reply to that either.

I picked up my phone later on though however, to 7 missed calls and about 3 or 4 text messages from her. Immediately I knew she must have been desperate to get me - she isn't the needy type, and rarely texts or calls more than once if she hasn't had a reply.

Turns out she had picked up a nice new car and was passing my house on the back. She's never had a car in the time I've known her, so she was really excited about showing me it as she obviously knows that cars are a big interest of mine. My phone had been on silent all night so I wasn't even aware she was frantically trying to get hold of me. She had even stopped by my house on her way back from the garage...don't know why she couldn't knock on the door, but nevermind!

Anyway, after all that I couldn't help feeling a little bit guilty and had to text her to tell her to be careful as the roads were slippy, and it was her first night driving it. That was it though, and I still don't want anything to do with her: but I do have to admit to feeling VERY guilty today about the whole thing. I hate being a nice guy sometimes

This will probably seem a really pety to alot of people reading this(if anyone does ) but I just thought I'd share it anyway.



Anyone had similar experiences? Feel free to share them.



Alan

corradoboy

Wimmin are weird. When they get you just where they want you, they don't want you any more. Yet when they can no longer have you, they desperately want you

little-ginge

You caved in and texted her back .... won't she see this as an opening for contact to start again????

If you are sure that you are happier without her in your life, well done for deleting everything, but I was in the same situ and wanted to severe all contact with someone I'd have gone as far as blocking her number ...

HankScorpio

In my past, a selfish psycho bitch decided we shouldn't be a couple any more (after 3.5 years) but we should stay friends (yeah, right, )

She moved out but would phone regularly for a "chat" to see how I was and tell me about her life. These were pretty much one way conversations with monosyllabic responses from me.
After a month of this, I started a new job and I'd had enough of all this as well and couldn't be arsed to deal with any confrontation so a quick call to BT about "unsolicited calls" and I gets me a new phone number

This was before widespread mobile and email so I got a clean break.

Felt guilty for about 24 hours but was relief after that!

GlesgaKiss

Thanks. I know, but I still do

Corradoboy - That's the way I have always found it in my experience.

little-ginge - Yes, it has definetly led her to think that - I just looked at my phone and there is a text from her sent about half 9. I know it was daft and it's not as if it would have made much difference...but if she had crashed due to black ice or whatever, when I could have warned her what the roads were like, I would never forgive myself.

Hankscorpio - Well done

Ant

More the question what car did she get lol.

When i was reading through it i honestly thought it was ending up has she crashed or something.

But ya did well sticking by ya guns, or if the temptation is too much change your number then she cant hassle you either.

women are truely head f***S

Sonic'

Forget what car she got, get some pics of her up on here

Lee247

Stop feeling guilty.

Some wimmins want to remain friends, that may be the case. Don't look for hidden agendas. She does not want to go out with you anymore, but wants to be mates. It is possible. My very best pal is a bloke

Oh, apart from Sal, of course. She is also my bestest pal. Thought I had better mention that

GlesgaKiss

Lol, no we've done the friends bit, that was fine. She wants everything now, but when she wants it. For instance, 2 months on/2 months off.

It's like working shifts.

GlesgaKiss

I would need to see her again for that, as I don't have any pics left. I'll see what I can do though

Nate

iTrader: (2)

Was waiting for this post

Lee247

Ahh, well if that's the case. Tell her to take a hike

But, stop feeling guilty. I detest people who pi$$ fart about. One minute they want you and the next they don't. (not you, her)

You have done the right thing. Ignore

Turbohot

Terzo, longer you stretch it, longer you are gonna go through these feelings such as guilt, confusion with she loves me-she loves me not type of stuff. You say you'd rather have a clear break now. If that's what you want to do, IMO you may quite choose to put a correct closure to the situation; by informing her that even this off-on contact comes to the end in both parties' favour. Just ignoring may not help enough to either party. Not to say that both of you will totally break away from the feeling of loss you may experience. But at least, clarity and presentation of what you would like for yourself (break ties altogether) will provide you with mental sanity, rather than feeling used when required by the other party. You seem to feel guilty, as you may still feel responsible to her needs of being cared for? If you can not do so/not willing to do so for the way she has treated you, just let her know. it will save your time, and will give a her a clear green signal to move on.

Take it easy.

LeeMac

iTrader: (1)

So, I read it all, and after all that, I thought she was gonna have a crash!!

you lead us down a path to nothin their mate

soz if I have offended you, its 2am and i'm watchin smokey

You really have never done the dirty on someone have you!

fast bloke

Wimmen are a bunch of lunatics - Their brains, mouths and text thumbs are not even remotely connected. Content yourself in the knowledge that you are not the only confused man on the planet

p.s. - If she is fit or does a good BJ you should feel guilty that you are not giving her ample opportunity to service you correctly, but if your mates don't go phwoar when they look at her, tell her it isn't you... it is her.... and move on

worley

Take the modern approach, do this by text and then bar her


BTW, well done on cutting contact, never easy.


Nik

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

If this was Fight Club, I'd say something like: Find a slapper, get laid. Move on.

but it's not, so I'll say: You need to get out and find someone else to fill the gap left by your ex-. You need to remember that there are other people in the world deserving of your time. While you still look back at the past, you can never move on to the future.

I could say all that, but I really mean the first one

EddScott

As long as she hasn't bought an Impreza better than yours I wouldn't worry about her.

You got to get priorities right

MrJim

be careful sounds as if she is trying to wind you in again,must be at a loose end

cossie-nutter

iTrader: (45)

Change all numbers and totally avoid anything from her and 1 day she will get the hint! Don't feel guilty she is the 1 being a drama queen and wanting contact so to speak!

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Best mates with a woman, dont you have to be gay ?

Turbohot

LOL
Gaymen are the safest to have as mates, true. They don't bear ulterior motives of getting into one's chuddies etc., and pretend to be just plutonium friends Other than that, it's the ones that don't fancy you, become your "mates". Harsh on female ego to accept, but safe nonetheless for the ladies, who don't fancy them either

I do have some male friends. One tends to get masculine support and appreciation from male friends- spoken or unspoken, apparent on non-apparent. Some males can be great friends, same goes for females.

Friendship with the ex-partners should come to closure after it has been established that there's gonna be no change in the situation, even after splitting for some breathing space, to reflect upon the situation. No point wasting one's time and energy IMO.

GlesgaKiss

Turbohot - Thanks for the advice. I know that is exactly what I need to do, but it's easier said than done.

LeeMac - You havn't offended me, all opinions are welcome - but I have simply told the story the way it was. I've never done the dirty on someone I genuinly care about, no. But if you believe in Karma, I probably deserve a bad time as I've not exactly been an angel.

fast bloke - She is very fit, and my friends all go "phwoaar": that's what the initial attraction was.

Kieran_Burns - Already done that. Found a few .

MrJim - That's exactly it: she wasnts a bit of attention so decides to get back in touch.

cossie-nutter - That's the best idea, but I hate changing numbers because of the number of people that have my current one.


Thanks for all the advice people, it's amazing how a replies on an internet forum can lift your mood.


Alan

Lee247

My best mate may well rip your head off for that comment.
He's fantastic and I can talk to him about anything and I mean anything

Terzo, glad you are feeling better about things and moving on.

Turbohot

I know, Terzo.
Take your time, and do things with your own pace, on your own accord. You are only young. Don't let anyone mess with your head, and vice' versa IMO. Take care.

GlesgaKiss

Thanks.

GlesgaKiss

Do you know how many women have "best mates" that are actually crazy about them and they don't even realise?