Was I justified ?
17 January 2009, 02:40 PM
#1
Was I justified ?
I had to go an see my lad play football at the local school and take his bag as he was on a sleep over at his mates, met up with his mates dad, he got them in the car and I started walking home, was going through the gates and an ancient Civic in white blasts up the narrow access road, cars on either side, through the school gates braking hard, he went past me about four feet away, made me jump a bit so I should "Slow down you ****", he shouts something then reverses fast back to me "what did you say", I said "Slow down" but he was more interested in the **** bit, so we had an argument about me calling him a ****, I stood by my statement based on his driving, he was going to get out all angry, so I told him not to bother as he would come off worst, I wasn't going to punch him, far from it, but I don't think it would be good for him based on the number of people about and the fact he had announced that he was one of the coaches ! at the football academy, I think driving like a **** when your customers kids around is pretty bad form.
He asked me my sons name, I didnt tell him, he wanted me to apologise for calling him a ****, but I said he had to apologise for driving like one, I said what do you think you look like speeding towards a school where there are loads of kids coming out, yes a ****, so I said I am sure you are decent lad but I thought you look like a **** if you drive like that, he muttered an apology so I reciprocated and said I was sorry for calling you a **** but slow the f*ck down or I will be having a word with your boss.
Might have been more amenable to having a go back had I not been out last night, felt like crap and legs are knackered for a week of cycling, didn't fancy my chances, however not retaliating and getting witnesses would be far more effective.
Was concerned why he wanted my lads name.
He asked me my sons name, I didnt tell him, he wanted me to apologise for calling him a ****, but I said he had to apologise for driving like one, I said what do you think you look like speeding towards a school where there are loads of kids coming out, yes a ****, so I said I am sure you are decent lad but I thought you look like a **** if you drive like that, he muttered an apology so I reciprocated and said I was sorry for calling you a **** but slow the f*ck down or I will be having a word with your boss.
Might have been more amenable to having a go back had I not been out last night, felt like crap and legs are knackered for a week of cycling, didn't fancy my chances, however not retaliating and getting witnesses would be far more effective.
Was concerned why he wanted my lads name.
17 January 2009, 02:49 PM
#3
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I can't stand wa*kers like that who drive around schools in that manner. If it was me I would have reported him to the school principle - so you were quite restrained!
Though - once he had appologised I probably would have let if go - just as you did.
Though - once he had appologised I probably would have let if go - just as you did.
Last edited by Scotsman; 17 January 2009 at 02:50 PM.
17 January 2009, 03:25 PM
#4
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Totally justified. He, more than most, should have realized there were kids around. I'm sure someone will pop up on here and say you caused things to escalate by calling him a ****, but on all available evidence he clearly was.
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17 January 2009, 04:24 PM
#8
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Interesting. Not willing to get out of the car to square up to you, but willing to get your sons name so he can (presumably) take it out on him.
Hmmmmm.......
Hmmmmm.......
17 January 2009, 04:28 PM
#9
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Yoza's rule number 1--Never back down from your first statement.
If you called him a ****, stick to it.
If he heard you, which he did, and then sees that you have backed down, he will see it as a sign of weakness and gain ground from it.
Confrontation is at first a size up, and not just your stature, but how you react, speak, your tone, and how you hold your ground, any retraction or retreat in my opinion makes violence more probable.
If when he reversed and said "what did you say ?"...
And you replied "I said slow down you ******* pr1ck, there are kids running around here." That would have either been the end of it, which would have been best.
Or the beginning of the battle, and bear in mind he would have had to get out of his car and approach you, so self defence would have been your excuse for landing the first and hopefully the last blow..
I tend not to argue at all, which confuses people, and if I gauge that there is going to be an attack I always act first.
If you called him a ****, stick to it.
If he heard you, which he did, and then sees that you have backed down, he will see it as a sign of weakness and gain ground from it.
Confrontation is at first a size up, and not just your stature, but how you react, speak, your tone, and how you hold your ground, any retraction or retreat in my opinion makes violence more probable.
If when he reversed and said "what did you say ?"...
And you replied "I said slow down you ******* pr1ck, there are kids running around here." That would have either been the end of it, which would have been best.
Or the beginning of the battle, and bear in mind he would have had to get out of his car and approach you, so self defence would have been your excuse for landing the first and hopefully the last blow..
I tend not to argue at all, which confuses people, and if I gauge that there is going to be an attack I always act first.
17 January 2009, 06:19 PM
#11
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Spot on, we all complain about pointless speed scameras and so on, but the way people drive, or abandon their cars outside schools and hospitals is appalling. I think I would have used something a little stronger than **** if it had happened to me.
17 January 2009, 06:41 PM
#13
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you did the right thing. 
If he's a couch, "he should have known better"
If he knows there are kids there, "he should have known better"
Personally I wouldnt have backed down and still called him a kn0b, declaring he's a couch makes calling him a kn0b all the more relevant. Letter to his boss me thinks, anonymously of course.
If he's a couch, "he should have known better"
If he knows there are kids there, "he should have known better"
Personally I wouldnt have backed down and still called him a kn0b, declaring he's a couch makes calling him a kn0b all the more relevant. Letter to his boss me thinks, anonymously of course.
17 January 2009, 09:02 PM
#17
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I think you done the right thing fella! If it had been me would of been a different story as I would of battered him and his mates but that's just me pushing my weight about!
Big up to you fella for being level headed!
Big up to you fella for being level headed!
17 January 2009, 09:09 PM
#18
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Yoza's rule number 1--Never back down from your first statement.
If you called him a ****, stick to it.
If he heard you, which he did, and then sees that you have backed down, he will see it as a sign of weakness and gain ground from it.
Confrontation is at first a size up, and not just your stature, but how you react, speak, your tone, and how you hold your ground, any retraction or retreat in my opinion makes violence more probable.
If when he reversed and said "what did you say ?"...
And you replied "I said slow down you ******* pr1ck, there are kids running around here." That would have either been the end of it, which would have been best.
Or the beginning of the battle, and bear in mind he would have had to get out of his car and approach you, so self defence would have been your excuse for landing the first and hopefully the last blow..
I tend not to argue at all, which confuses people, and if I gauge that there is going to be an attack I always act first.
If you called him a ****, stick to it.
If he heard you, which he did, and then sees that you have backed down, he will see it as a sign of weakness and gain ground from it.
Confrontation is at first a size up, and not just your stature, but how you react, speak, your tone, and how you hold your ground, any retraction or retreat in my opinion makes violence more probable.
If when he reversed and said "what did you say ?"...
And you replied "I said slow down you ******* pr1ck, there are kids running around here." That would have either been the end of it, which would have been best.
Or the beginning of the battle, and bear in mind he would have had to get out of his car and approach you, so self defence would have been your excuse for landing the first and hopefully the last blow..
I tend not to argue at all, which confuses people, and if I gauge that there is going to be an attack I always act first.
I get the feeling your not 6st and 5ft?
17 January 2009, 10:45 PM
#20
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I am always doing similar things as I can't be doing with inconsiderate drivers or anyone inconsiderate for that matter. Well done op.
On Tuesday evening I took the kids swimming and as I went to the viewing area to have a sit down some lanky bloke had his legs streched out and wouldn't pull them back in to make it easy to pass, so I just kicked his ankle as I passed.
He didn't say boo
Yoza.
Cracking thought process.
On Tuesday evening I took the kids swimming and as I went to the viewing area to have a sit down some lanky bloke had his legs streched out and wouldn't pull them back in to make it easy to pass, so I just kicked his ankle as I passed.
He didn't say boo
Yoza.
Cracking thought process.
17 January 2009, 11:14 PM
#22
Yoza's rule number 1--Never back down from your first statement.
If you called him a ****, stick to it.
If he heard you, which he did, and then sees that you have backed down, he will see it as a sign of weakness and gain ground from it.
Confrontation is at first a size up, and not just your stature, but how you react, speak, your tone, and how you hold your ground, any retraction or retreat in my opinion makes violence more probable.
If when he reversed and said "what did you say ?"...
And you replied "I said slow down you ******* pr1ck, there are kids running around here." That would have either been the end of it, which would have been best.
Or the beginning of the battle, and bear in mind he would have had to get out of his car and approach you, so self defence would have been your excuse for landing the first and hopefully the last blow..
I tend not to argue at all, which confuses people, and if I gauge that there is going to be an attack I always act first.
If you called him a ****, stick to it.
If he heard you, which he did, and then sees that you have backed down, he will see it as a sign of weakness and gain ground from it.
Confrontation is at first a size up, and not just your stature, but how you react, speak, your tone, and how you hold your ground, any retraction or retreat in my opinion makes violence more probable.
If when he reversed and said "what did you say ?"...
And you replied "I said slow down you ******* pr1ck, there are kids running around here." That would have either been the end of it, which would have been best.
Or the beginning of the battle, and bear in mind he would have had to get out of his car and approach you, so self defence would have been your excuse for landing the first and hopefully the last blow..
I tend not to argue at all, which confuses people, and if I gauge that there is going to be an attack I always act first.
Funnily enough I had a bit of a moment today with two c*cks in a van.
Giving it the big one saying they were going to kick my **** blah blah.
Changed their minds when I got out of the car and asked them that just because there were two of them they thought i'd give a toss.
I even opened the door for one of them asked him to step out or drive off. They drove off shouting obscenties and lots of hand gestures.
Most of it is psychology as yoza said show weakness and you're in bother, however if you put the thought in their heads that you really don't give a f*ck then 9 times out of ten it amounts to nothing.
Obviously this is only advised if your not one of these that gets their abitions confused with their capabilities
To the OP, you did exactly the right thing and handled it very well.
Last edited by dazdavies; 17 January 2009 at 11:24 PM.
17 January 2009, 11:17 PM
#23
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Justified.....
Well done for not allowing it to get silly too. People tend to get aggressive in the bubble of their cars.
Weird that he wanted your boy's name.
Well done for not allowing it to get silly too. People tend to get aggressive in the bubble of their cars.
Weird that he wanted your boy's name.
17 January 2009, 11:59 PM
#24
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Originally Posted by dazdavies
Obviously this is only advised if your not one of these that gets their abitions confused with their capabilities
Simon
18 January 2009, 12:20 AM
#27
Yoza's rule number 1--Never back down from your first statement.
If you called him a ****, stick to it.
If he heard you, which he did, and then sees that you have backed down, he will see it as a sign of weakness and gain ground from it.
Confrontation is at first a size up, and not just your stature, but how you react, speak, your tone, and how you hold your ground, any retraction or retreat in my opinion makes violence more probable.
If when he reversed and said "what did you say ?"...
And you replied "I said slow down you ******* pr1ck, there are kids running around here." That would have either been the end of it, which would have been best.
Or the beginning of the battle, and bear in mind he would have had to get out of his car and approach you, so self defence would have been your excuse for landing the first and hopefully the last blow..
I tend not to argue at all, which confuses people, and if I gauge that there is going to be an attack I always act first.
If you called him a ****, stick to it.
If he heard you, which he did, and then sees that you have backed down, he will see it as a sign of weakness and gain ground from it.
Confrontation is at first a size up, and not just your stature, but how you react, speak, your tone, and how you hold your ground, any retraction or retreat in my opinion makes violence more probable.
If when he reversed and said "what did you say ?"...
And you replied "I said slow down you ******* pr1ck, there are kids running around here." That would have either been the end of it, which would have been best.
Or the beginning of the battle, and bear in mind he would have had to get out of his car and approach you, so self defence would have been your excuse for landing the first and hopefully the last blow..
I tend not to argue at all, which confuses people, and if I gauge that there is going to be an attack I always act first.
At which point when he opens his door to step out, make sure your close enough to slam that ****** into his face
18 January 2009, 08:09 AM
#28
I didnt want to get into a punch up, it's not something I do on a regular basis and the the whole Police/Court thing doesn't appeal, I just thought it needed mentioning in case the Pillock hurst someone, I think he was just not thinking.
I couldn't be doing with his attitude, he should have just realised that a paying customer was objecting to his cretinous driving, I would have not said anything otherwise, my day is more enjoyable, as a rule without confrontation, I can get enough of that off the wife
Hopefully it is the end of the matter, I will continue to drop my lad off and pick him up, I wont say anything but if he utters one word then all bets are off.
I appreciate all the comments, I can see the Psychology aspect but there was by then a load of cars waiting to come out, I felt crap so wasn't at my best, there are times, Dependant on mood that a gobby little f*cker in a wanked out Civic giving me grief would be a chance for a bit of sport but I realised that feeling like I did, I couldn't think quick enough and if it did come to it, I couldnt have back up what my mouth was saying, not saying I would have "won" normally but I would have given it a much better go than I could have yesterday, kind of glad as those kind of situations can cause you big setbacks, the initial euphoria soon gets overwhelmed by the feelings caused by being arrested, explaining black eyes at work and what happened to the wife, no good can come from it.
I couldn't be doing with his attitude, he should have just realised that a paying customer was objecting to his cretinous driving, I would have not said anything otherwise, my day is more enjoyable, as a rule without confrontation, I can get enough of that off the wife
Hopefully it is the end of the matter, I will continue to drop my lad off and pick him up, I wont say anything but if he utters one word then all bets are off.
I appreciate all the comments, I can see the Psychology aspect but there was by then a load of cars waiting to come out, I felt crap so wasn't at my best, there are times, Dependant on mood that a gobby little f*cker in a wanked out Civic giving me grief would be a chance for a bit of sport but I realised that feeling like I did, I couldn't think quick enough and if it did come to it, I couldnt have back up what my mouth was saying, not saying I would have "won" normally but I would have given it a much better go than I could have yesterday, kind of glad as those kind of situations can cause you big setbacks, the initial euphoria soon gets overwhelmed by the feelings caused by being arrested, explaining black eyes at work and what happened to the wife, no good can come from it.
18 January 2009, 08:42 AM
#29
what a *****, he reversed back towards you only to get more of a dressing down. unbelievable.
i can not abide ppl that feel the need to comment on other peoples driving, whether its takes the form of verbal, physical or flashing the lights etc. if you do, then the bottom line is you're gonna get a sore face, unless its your turn and the offended party hands u your a$s lol.
however i do totally appreciate your situation and would probably have used ever so slightly coarser langauage as around a school AND a built up (low visiblity) situation it is wholey unacceptable. i pressume there was also an advised speed limit of 20 as it was a school.
the guy has absolutely no grounds for grievance other than the **** statement, which could be all it take to set the wrong person off.
he sounds like the cliche failed PE teacher/wana be tracksuit wearing trendy dad.
but your right, you handled it well, as at the time it may seem justified, but rolling about the ground throwing hands infront children (Incl your own) and explaining to the better half why your knuckles are a mess or the lovely new shiner your sporting is never good.
i can not abide ppl that feel the need to comment on other peoples driving, whether its takes the form of verbal, physical or flashing the lights etc. if you do, then the bottom line is you're gonna get a sore face, unless its your turn and the offended party hands u your a$s lol.
however i do totally appreciate your situation and would probably have used ever so slightly coarser langauage as around a school AND a built up (low visiblity) situation it is wholey unacceptable. i pressume there was also an advised speed limit of 20 as it was a school.
the guy has absolutely no grounds for grievance other than the **** statement, which could be all it take to set the wrong person off.
he sounds like the cliche failed PE teacher/wana be tracksuit wearing trendy dad.
but your right, you handled it well, as at the time it may seem justified, but rolling about the ground throwing hands infront children (Incl your own) and explaining to the better half why your knuckles are a mess or the lovely new shiner your sporting is never good.
18 January 2009, 08:48 AM
#30
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well done mate
Personally if he siad he was going to get out i would have helped him out ! When he kill's somones kid cause of his wan#er driving he might see it diffrentley .
id still report him to his boss customers allways right after all . .
Personally if he siad he was going to get out i would have helped him out ! When he kill's somones kid cause of his wan#er driving he might see it diffrentley .
id still report him to his boss customers allways right after all .
.