Terzo 333

...is it rude / ignorant to not reciprocate ?

Its a little thing that nags me a bit, but if I ask someone if they are ok / allright, I would expect them to ask me back

Is it a manner thing ? Am I just too polite ?

Is it just me ?!

Timwinner

iTrader: (3)

For me its a lot to do with who I am asking, There are some people at work who if I ask they tell there life troubles, basically bring the whole tone of the office down.

I dont think its a question that many people ask and really want to know, Its just something you ask.
Its almost like when you ask people how there holiday was, you dont really care, you just ask.

moff1888

People tend to say it as we pass and I don't ask back I simply say "yeah good thanks" generally because I am going somewhere.

If I do say something its cause I am able to have the time.

Snazy

If its a genuine enquiry, I will return the question, if its the usual telephone politeness rubbish, I just ignore it and carry on

pete higham

funnily enough while i was at work today i was working in a corridor in the ceiling and guy was walking past who i had exchanged "mornings" with said "alright bud" and by the time i had got my "yeah not to bad and you?" out of my mouth he had walked around the corner of the corridor.

this bugged me for the rest of the day as he may have thought i was being ignorent

Snazy

Out of sight, out of mind Pete.... he would have forgotton just after saying it usually lol
If he kept walking, im sure he was not too bothered.

HankScorpio

I never ask how people are, the few people who I actually care how they are will have told me if they are better/worse than OK.
Asking just to make chitchat or not listening to responses is rude and ignorant.
At least I'm honest, I DGAF how you are so I'm not asking.

davegtt

As said, its become a greeting so sometimes I just casually say yeah thanks and leave it at that, if its a good friend and they ask me when Ive not seen them for a week I'll give them a honest answer and ask them back

worley

Depends if I've got an arm hanging off after an unfortunate accident...

It means that they might want to help and call an ambulance I'd probably reply then


Nik

Terzo 333

I agree about the comment on who is asking, for instance, if a cold caller rings me up and asks me how I am, I won't ask them back, because quite frankly I don't care !

However if an important caller (ie buyer) rings me up I'll ask them if they are "alright" as a bit of a greeting.

davyboy

If you're not alright do you just say, "fine thanks and you"?

Even though I clearly have an injury I've still said this

Terminator X

iTrader: (7)

When someone says to me "how are you?" which is a pretty standard greeting, I either launch in to a very long story about all my woes or say fine & don't ask them back. Amazing how many people respond "yeah, I'm OK" even though I've not asked them!

TX.

jods

My Stock answer to this kind of enquiry / pleasantry is:

"Musn't Grumble"

MikeCardiff

iTrader: (2)

If its someone asking in person, rather than on the phone, I always find collapsing to your knees with your head in your hands, sobbing, and screaming 'no, its all going wrong' generally stops them asking again.

StickyMicky

i told one annoyingly chirpy woman that "no, my fathers just died" (he had been dead a while ) to see what reaction that had, and it was rather amusing

HankScorpio

You could always try responding in the style of Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon with the mental eyes- "Do ya REALLY wanna know? Do ya wanna??"

Leslie

I agree with you Terzo, I think it is extremely ill mannered and ignorant not to have the courtesy to reply to a polite question like that. It takes only a very short reply and it is quite unnecessary to be rude about it.

Unfortunately it does look as though good manners is disappearing in many quarters these days.

Les

ChefDude

It irritates me when people answer these questions with
"not too bad" or "mustn't grumble" as though they've encountered an uncommonly good day and they are still reluctant to admit to it.

Such a negative attitude.

On purpose, my responses are always over the top with "Marvellous thanks! You?" or "Splendid thank you. How the devil are you?"

Of course, if you spoke to me randomly on the tube and I didn't know you I'd glare at you for being so rude as to talk to me on public transport.

btw, I'm from london

Fabioso

A new Doctor I had never seen before asked me how I was as a greeting which made me laugh. I felt like saying "Yep doc, I'm on top of the world, never felt fitter, not sure why the hell I'm here to be honest. Cheerio!"

I don't always ask the question back. It depends how quickly I'm moving. I always think it looks very false, if you reply with the same question more than 10 feet away as I think it gives the impression you really couldn't give a toss more than if you don't ask.

jods

Musn't Grumble

Terminator X

iTrader: (7)

I know a chap who asks the question & moves on without waiting to hear the answer if you pause for more than 0.5s ... very rude

TX.

Tiggs

This is my bug bear...i wish people wouldnt do it! I just say "fine thanks, anyway...." and on with my conversation!