Boro

iTrader: (1)

Woman rings up and tells me she could save me money by reducing my line rental on my telephone.

She blabbed on for a bit and to be fair, i let her

At the end of the sales pitch which went on quite a while, one simple sentence ended it all, right there and then

Sorry love, this is a voip line and doesnt have line rental.

Gloat over

RA Dunk

Ive been getting bugged to death by BT asking me to come back offering cheaper broadband, phonecalls etc etc, no matter how many times i declined they always persisted in phoning me back no matter what day of the week last time it was 4PM on a sunday afternoon they just wouldent take no for an answer despite me telling them i wasnt intrested full stop, last time they phoned i had to get a little nasty with them, they havent phoned since, long may it continue

mart360

BT phoned 4 times on friday, to get me to "come back"

what part of "not interested" dont they understand


Mart

StickyMicky

I had one of them believing i was called "Mr Dog ****" the other week, i had to hang up as i was crying to much at the end


"ok, i now send information Mr Dog ****"

Coffin Dodger

Like the one I had once, selling conservatories, let them give all the pitch, sounded like I was really interested, asked a few more questions, and then the clincher.....


.....so I live in a second floor flat will it be okay to fit a conservatory to it?


They hung up on me, no sense of humour

Trout

iTrader: (1)

Like the guy who emailed me from a search optimisation company. He said he could get my company up there as the top search response in Google.

So I searched his company and the only way I could get it on the first page was to put in his company's URL as the search! Doh!

I said come back when you can get your own company into the top three. Not heard since.

StickyMicky

Ha!

I have had a few of these, the best one was when it was raining and i had nothing better to do, i heard all his rubbish about how i could be the top google dog for my area

Then i asked her to search for "Valeting Longbenton" in his google browser, and asked him why the top 5 or so links all gave my phone number

He told me to **** off!

BOB.T

I had a guy ring me;

Him: ulloh dare, ma nam uz Dave

I already knew I wasn't interested but decided to have some sport with him!

Dave: I calling about our deals on new mobile phones
Me: Really?! I've just been looking for one, how fortunate that you rang!
Dave: We do special rates for calling Canada
Me: No way, I ring Canada all the time

This went on till Dave just about had his c*ck in his hand with excitement of the impending deal of the century!!

Dave: So, would you like me to go ahead and set that up for you, I just need your bank details
Me: No.

And then I hung up and carried on with my life

Hysteria1983

I just have a good old chin wag with them, maybe even a little flirt (yes sometimes with the Laydees) keep up the charade of, ooohhh yes I really NEED a new conservatory and full UPV windows on my house.
Then I just use the age old trick of telling them to give me a call back in about an hour after I have spoken to my landlord.
Or I will ask them if they need new windows and doors, or a conservatory, or maybe even some block paving. Tell them you have a good finance scheme in place and that you can buy now and pay in 12 months. They have usually naffed off by then.
Usually does the trick

Alternatively with BT/Sky etc morons calling.....

Try these three little words: ‘Hold On, Please…’ Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt (we hope). Then when you eventually hear BT’s ‘beep-beep-beep’ tone, you know it’s time to go back and hang up your handset. You have efficiently completed your task. - Moneymagpie

SJ_Skyline

A former employer of mine was a reseller for Nildram (web services, leased lines, ADSL, etc) and consequently got free web and telephony services. My colleague (let's call him Steve) taking the cold call had to put it on speaker it was so good, the enthusiatic sales chap (let's call him Dave) at the other end reckoned he could do us a better deal for our telephony services.

Steve: So let me get this straight, you are going to beat any deal we have in place for our web connection and phone lines?

Dave: Yes mate, absolutely gaurentee to beat what you pay now.

Steve: We're a reseller for Nildram, we pay nothing.

Dave: Well we can beat that.

Steve: You can beat nothing?

Dave: Yes we can.

Steve: You're going to pay us to use your line?

Dave: Er, what do you mean?

Steve: Well, if you're charging us less than nothing that means you will be giving us a rebate for using your services which means you will be paying us.

Dave: Er...

Steve: You're really not that bright are you?


At this point "Steve" had to hang up as our laughter was getting a wee bit loud.

Boro

iTrader: (1)

A LONG time ago i did some work for a telesales team who sold double glazing and we worked from lists of people, all TPS checked. The list looked something like this...

SMITH, John, 01234 567890

JONES, Gwen, 01345 678901

blah, blah

All was going well until i got to...

LARGE, Fanny...

At which point i creased up laughing and couldnt actually pick up the phone to call anyone.

hodgy0_2

i like the calls that start with "can i confim your identity", well you rang me I tell them so i would d like you to confirm your identity please

that usually results in a long silence at the other end of the line

Boro

iTrader: (1)

Haha, yeh. How the hell do you REALLY know its your bank calling, lol.

hodgy0_2

precisely

boxst

Yes, I do that. Not particularly out of any malice, but if someone asks ME to identify myself after they have called just seems slightly insane.

Steve

hodgy0_2

Yes it’s strange, they don't see irony of it, and I don’t do it to be obstructive either

but the whole identity thing is a bit of a con anyway -- I went to a bank last year to take a large amount of cash out -- on a credit card I hardly ever use (so was not sure of the pin)

anyway went to the bank (I was told on the phone to take "identity") with my passport driving licence several utility bills - in fact pretty close to everything there is to confirm my identity

in the branch, did they ask to see it when I requested the money, after presenting my card -- no, all they wanted to know was the pin number i.e. I had to enter it in the machine (i entered it wrong twice and realised that once more then i would not get my money irrespective of whether i could prove my identity) -- that was the only authorisation they wanted to enable them to give me the money

so if a tramp had picked up my dropped card outside the bank he would have been able to take the money out (had he known or guessed the pin) presumably with me standing next to him still trying to prove my identity to another bank teller

finalzero

Had similar muppets from a call centre 'working for BT' contact me all of a sudden after I reported a line fault previously.

I got this sales pitch about how they can match my line speed so I quoted him my Be Broadband figures which sit at a healty 18mbit/1mbit download/upload - the guy turns around and says "well we can only offer 8mbit on your line" LOL ****ing retard

corradoboy

I had a bod invite me to take part in a 'very short' survey about how the credit crunch is affecting me. I said 'let's make it extremely short, I'm foofing skint' and hung up.

TonyBurns

iTrader: (3)

Best ones are the mobile phone companies who call.
Normally goes like this:-

Caller, Hi im from xxx and we wish to offer you an excellent offer on a new mobile phone contract, we can beat your existing contract

Me, oh hi, i work for xxx mobile phone company and cold calling is against ofcoms regulations...

Phone goes dead

Amazing

Tony

Ian

iTrader: (10)

does anyone get the recorded messages, you answer, then then it is some recorded persion going on about something. i just hang up, but would it be best just to leave them talking and walk away from the phone?

corradoboy

I used to do that but got tired of it so now just hang up.

coolangatta

TheGreatestPrankCallEver_WMVV8.flv video by coolangatta - Photobucket

Sorry if it's Sial

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

My brother had a 25 minute chat with a cold caller promising him a free mobile phone .. he said I have a sim just send me the phone ! the fella didnt understand and kept offering this "free" phone ..

StickyMicky

Genius, just had another, had the chap do the google search, and this actual thread was number one on the google result, with my above quote on display

shooter007

Working in the shop today, had a phone call from an Asian lady.
Her. Hello my name is Susan.

Me Hi.

Her. I am ringing from Kellogs to see you are selling special k bars.

Me. Yes I have them in my shop. (just to get rid)

Her. Can you read me the bar code number.

Me. No, I hav'nt got any really.

Her. Why you lie to me.

Me. Well you started it. Tell me your real name.

She seems to have gone...

bish667

iTrader: (1)

On that subject why do we need to enter the pin code when depositing money in your own account? As when depositing money in someone else's account you just need to give them the account number.
So to save time just tell them its not your account then you dont need your card or a pin

JamJay

My mum keeps getting calls at her place for me & my wife. Now, i've been p*ssed a fair amount of my life i'll say that, but never so much that I married without my knowledge, I have no damn wife . Needless to say they are from somewhere in Asia.

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

I do that all the time.

I think I narked the last person who called from the bank, because they put my debit card on stop

NotoriousREV

They're obviously not very good. They should be telling you how just because you're top for that keyword doesn't mean any traffic is being driven to your site or that you're getting any benefit from the traffic you're getting. Ask them for a free assessment and a report showing what they recommend. They'll probably charge silly money if you take any services from them but if you get the report then you can put some of the things into action yourself.

Terminator X

iTrader: (7)

Can you confirm your PIN pls!

TX.