The grand spider mystery….?
06 August 2009, 09:28 PM
#1
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The grand spider mystery….?
Over the last few days I have noticed a spider on the bathroom floor that darts in and out of a gap between the lino and the skirting board.
I got to play around a bit by stamping my feet and seeing what it did. A pattern quickly emerged. Sad I know, but bear with me.....
On entering the room the spider was invariably on the floor about two inches away from the skirting board. If it was facing away it would turn around towards me.
If I stamped my feet it would disappear under the skirting. If I backed away or slid my feet on the floor it would pop back out for a cheeky glance. Grab the door handle and it would come right back out, maybe thinking I was leaving?
Now I’m playing something like a WII Fit game, rattling around in the bathroom making the little black bugger dance about. All went well until my flatmate arrived late last evening and I am doing what seemed like the Tyburn Jig.
Bit of explaining followed and said flat mate agreed to have a go. This time the spider reacted completely different, oh hang on a minute! I was under the impression that the spider was running on instinct – so how come it was modifying its behaviour based on the person in the bathroom?
I asked a few specialists via email about arachnid behaviour and despite many "experts" writing me off as a crank (familiar territory for me) - as such intelligent behaviour is impossible, one chap who was involved in the late 1950’s on mutation experiments (Aldermaston was mentioned) did respond. He had worked on radiation effects on various insects, rats and some livestock, and he did talk about one test that caused "intelligence improvements", and that maybe, just maybe, somewhere down the line one had got away and bred offspring..
The final conclusion of this experimentation and subsequent analysis is that indeed, Gordon Brown is an absolute cúnt.
End Of…
p.s. before anyone takes the ****, I don’t really have lino in the bathroom, god forbid.
I got to play around a bit by stamping my feet and seeing what it did. A pattern quickly emerged. Sad I know, but bear with me.....
On entering the room the spider was invariably on the floor about two inches away from the skirting board. If it was facing away it would turn around towards me.
If I stamped my feet it would disappear under the skirting. If I backed away or slid my feet on the floor it would pop back out for a cheeky glance. Grab the door handle and it would come right back out, maybe thinking I was leaving?
Now I’m playing something like a WII Fit game, rattling around in the bathroom making the little black bugger dance about. All went well until my flatmate arrived late last evening and I am doing what seemed like the Tyburn Jig.
Bit of explaining followed and said flat mate agreed to have a go. This time the spider reacted completely different, oh hang on a minute! I was under the impression that the spider was running on instinct – so how come it was modifying its behaviour based on the person in the bathroom?
I asked a few specialists via email about arachnid behaviour and despite many "experts" writing me off as a crank (familiar territory for me) - as such intelligent behaviour is impossible, one chap who was involved in the late 1950’s on mutation experiments (Aldermaston was mentioned) did respond. He had worked on radiation effects on various insects, rats and some livestock, and he did talk about one test that caused "intelligence improvements", and that maybe, just maybe, somewhere down the line one had got away and bred offspring..
The final conclusion of this experimentation and subsequent analysis is that indeed, Gordon Brown is an absolute cúnt.
End Of…
p.s. before anyone takes the ****, I don’t really have lino in the bathroom, god forbid.
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06 August 2009, 10:06 PM
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the black spider is lulling you into a false sense of security, ready to pounce once it has you under its charm
beware the evil lino dancing spiders
beware the evil lino dancing spiders
06 August 2009, 10:13 PM
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07 August 2009, 10:14 AM
#12
Speaking of spiders - what is it with spiders and baths?
Our bathroom is being replaced this week and the night before the bath went, sure enough there he was sat there at the bottom of the bath. Its very rare not to have one there.
Bath went the next day, replaced with a new one and even though the drain wasnt plumbed in yet, there was a different spider in the bath by bed-time.
Our bathroom is being replaced this week and the night before the bath went, sure enough there he was sat there at the bottom of the bath. Its very rare not to have one there.
Bath went the next day, replaced with a new one and even though the drain wasnt plumbed in yet, there was a different spider in the bath by bed-time.
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