A Scottish Xmas Story ..
01 December 2009, 01:17 PM
#1
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A Scottish Xmas Story ..
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”
She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
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'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas ..................
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........ and they're paying their own way.'
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”
She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
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'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas ..................
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........ and they're paying their own way.'
01 December 2009, 01:48 PM
#3
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A Dundee man takes a pair of shoes back to the shop and complains that there is a lace missing.
"No," argues the assistant, "look at the label - it says Taiwan ..."
"No," argues the assistant, "look at the label - it says Taiwan ..."
01 December 2009, 01:54 PM
#4
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After announcing he's getting married, a boy tells his pal he'll be wearing a kilt.
"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.
"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies.
"And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.
"Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies.
02 December 2009, 11:51 AM
#5
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A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”
She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas ..................
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
........ and they're paying their own way.'
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”
She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'Sorted! They're coming for Christmas ..................
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
........ and they're paying their own way.'
Les
02 December 2009, 08:42 PM
#6
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Going further than the station and back !!! ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Angus called in to see his friend Donald to find he was stripping the wallpaper from the walls. Rather obviously, he remarked "You're decorating, I see." to which Donald replied "Naw. I'm moving house."
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