hutton_d

Aussies vs. Taliban [Sent to me by a Kiwi .... ]

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down
A road when they hear a voice call from behind a
Sand-dune. "One Australian soldier is better than ten
Taliban."

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of
His best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle
Breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice then calls out, "One Australian is better than
A hundred Taliban soldiers." Furious, the Taliban
Commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune
And instantly a huge gunfight commences. After
10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The Australian voice calls out, "One Australian is better than
One thousand Taliban". The enraged Taliban Commander
Musters a thousand fighters and sends them over the
Dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire rings out
As a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

Finally one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over
The dune and with his dying words tells his commander,
"Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's two of them."

hutton_d

There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful teenaged daughters.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine
months later delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of that child.

"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."
Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."

hutton_d

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner."
She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly.
"The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.

Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen
and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days, and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."