astraboy

Right, I've got just about a week to go till I get cut open and my hernia is sorted out. Trouble is, The more I think about it, the more worked up I get. I've slept about 5 hours in the last two days and I've lost my appetite more or less completly. I think it all stems from my last operation, appendicitus with complications which took me down at the start of 2000 and where I nearly died on the table. As soon as it pops into my head I cant stop thinking about it and I get more and more worked up about what I have to go through. again.
I cant calm down and I dont know where to start looking for ways to do so. I've tried getting wasted, but that just gets me emotional about it, I've tried chilling out to a bit of Moby's ambient collection but as soon as I stop thinking about it I start again and I'm back to square one. Driving at high speed does actually work as I am too occupied to think about it, but I'm thugging up the local roads on a more or less constant basis and I dont think that anxiety would stand up in court, do you?
Does anyone have any suggestions about how I can calm down? I'm willing to try anything as long as its legal and not morally reprehensible.
Cheers,
astraboy.

IWatkins

Radox bubble bath, bottle of JD and a good book.

Sorry, best I can do, it's what I do when work stresses me.

Cheers

Ian

Brendan Hughes

Talk about it.

I don't care who to - Samaritans, a friend, your pet dog.

Worst thing you can do is bottle it, it'll go round and round in your head, same crap, constantly in a circle. Get it out. If you're worried about losing your friends, they're not your friends. Ask someone if they mind being on the end of a monotonous depressing conversation until your op, just to help you: real friends (etc) should.

Good luck mate

BJH

johnfelstead

jump on a plane to Barcelona and come spend the weekend at the Catalunya rally with 40 mad scoobynet folk, rally during the day, Bar at night having a great laugh with the odd bear or 10.

If you want to do it send me a mail, i doubt you'll get chance to think about anything but having a laugh.

Hoppy

Astraboy, you post some weird stuff. Always a good read, though

I've been in your position, but my mindset is different. I can't wait to get whatever it is done and I have total faith in the medics. But I know others are different; my missus gets incredibly worked up about some things I actually look forward to. And the reverse often applies. We are complex creatures.

I think you have two choices: come to terms with what lies ahead, or block it out.

The first means talking to friends who will give you comfort and reassurance, or your GP or consultant whoever. This can be tough, but very worthwhile. Open your heart. True friends and professionals will give you 110%. As I say, not always easy, but you get a big and long-term pay-back. Talk to them.

The other option, blocking it out, is much easier but ultimately self-defeating. The only ways I ever manage to do this are a) getting pissed, b) having sex, c) playing squash. I have never tried all three together, but it would be fun

The problem though with all these alternative options is that they are not sustainable. Even if you can find a willing partner(s) ******** non-stop for a week is a tough call. And getting totally rat-arsed 24/7 is hardly a good pre-op solution, even if you can afford it. Squash, or any other totally involving sport, doesn't last more than an hour or two.

So I reckon you're left with cognative therapy (posh term for talking to your mates). The only tip I can give you is that support often comes from unexpected people, and birds are often better at this sort of thing than us blokes.

It's time to rabbit, mate.

Good luck.

Richard.

gossythevaleter

Astraboy
The best advice i can give is to talk. Trust me when i tell you that botteling it up inside is not the way to go.
I have had nine ops in the last 4 years 5 major 4hrs plus on the table 4 minor 1/2 toan 1hour.
I got so depressed with this way of life that i became addicted to some of the prescription drugs i was on pethedene tramadole. I had so much morphene iam now allergic to it.
Lost my wife home the whole shooting match. Like some one said talk to some one total stranger best mate if you want you can talk to me as i have been there and done that. Strength and frienship come from the most unliklest of places.
On the plus side got my wife back last year as i was back to the person she origanilly married. (and they lived happily ever after)

My doc pointed me in one direction cr*p personally (see a shrink).
But in the end it was a guy at hospital that had an accident on a bike that showed me there was light at the end of the tunnel.
It was really dificult at first but then we got talking and we seemed to help each other.
to the piont now that the hospital ring me occasionaly to talk to people that are going through what i went through
I think i might be rambeling now any way email if you want
Regards Gossy


Edited cause i cant spell properrr

[Edited by gossythevaleter - 3/20/2002 12:59:33 AM]

BOB.T

Matey, what they said

You've got my number

Bob

rik1471

Valium

gym-queen

Ok... talking about it is a great thing to do as it does get it out of your head a bit more as you've expressed your fears. If you're really having difficulty with it, I suggest hypnotherapy. Even just one session before th op will help. The therapist can talk you into being calm, and also teach you that each time a fearful thought comes into your head you can make it go away. I've done it for other reasons, and it definitely works. Don't drink alcohol, that only suppresses the problem and as you said, makes you more emotional. Drugs (legal and illegal) will have the same effect. Let me know how you get on.

Karen

fast bloke

Talk to your doc. An appendectomy is a much more serious operation than a hernia op. If the problem was with anaesthetic the last time they will be aware of this and use different drugs etc this time. The chances of dying on the table during a planned op are fairly slim, so the fact that you nearly bit the bullet the last time probably gives you a slightly higher than average chance of not biting it this time. You are more likely to die exceeding the speed limit, but I'm sure you don't worry about that?

Reffro

I used to use Kalms (little bottle with Blue and white labelling)to help me sleep if I was stressed. Take a few of those and your head empties and you fall fast asleep. A word of warning don't use them during the day, one girl who I recommended them to did, and turned into a giggling mess for the rest of the day. The effect they give is best described as being high I guess, but completely legal, you can't concentrate on anything, so your mind gives up, switches off and you go to sleep.

krankyd

nothing beats the old ways - sparking up a fatty and chilling with a glass of wine

Paulo P

iTrader: (42)

ring me mate if you want a chat you know where I am

LeighJ

Astraboy,

I had surgery on my back on the 7th Feb this year. I have never had to stay in hospital before. Before the op I was sh1tting myself, and like you I tried all sorts to help me chill out. Getting mashed didn't really help, well it did really. I am now competely recoverd, back to work, back in the gym, back in my car. The people I had taking care of me, where true professionals, that's the staff in the hospital and distrcit nurses and I call to my house every day. I have the up most respect for these people, they work bloody in some times awful conditions. A guy on my ward had the same op as you are going to have. He was in hosptial for 3 days like I was. I have seen him since and he is also doing really well. You will be in good hands m8. Take lots of stuff to read and am sure you feel much more relaxed once you have met the staff.

Good luck m8.

Cheers,

Leigh

Dream Weaver

By not attempting any home electrical wiring - see My thread

Astra - get your best trance and hard tunes on and chill out with a few beers and biftas - always helped me in the past.

Seriously though, try not to worry - I am sure the op will go fine. I know quite a few blokoes that have had the op and they were fine.

DW

[Edited by Dream Weaver - 3/20/2002 5:20:54 PM]

jon hill

Excercise - though i dunno if thats a good idea with a hernia ?

try any of running 10 miles / cycling 30 / rowing 6 / swim 2

and you'll probably be somewhat chilled at the end...

works for me

Claudius

You could take a friend with you and fly to Amsterdam. Lots of distraction there, including hash which should calm you down. Hash is used for medical purposes such as the one you mention in various countries around the world.

Easyjet have excellent prices on flights to Amsterdam, and it's not far at all.

Mark Jackson

Astraboy, nobody relishes being cut open but put it into perspective a Hernia op is a fairly routine task these days, my grandad had one last year and also had a lump removed from his bo110ck5, he showed me the resultant damage which was more traumatic for me than the op was for him !

I am pretty fatalistic about medical stuff, I have just had the snip (last Friday) and I wasnt bothered in the slightest about that, I know its only minor but tackle is tackle whichever way you slice it !

The Valium thing is a good suggestion, for the snip I was injected with a dose and actually watched what the doctor was doing !

My missus is amazing, 3 kids, all caesarian sections and didnt bat an eyelid.

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Astraboy, I was nearly killed by a drunk in 96 I was trapped in the wreckage for over 3 hours and unknown to me I was dying, Talk to anybody you can or failing that mail me and I'll give you my phone number, don't bottle anything up because it makes your recovery time even worse, try and stay focused at all times and if you are nervous which no doubt you are talk to the nursing staff they will always help you also tell the surgeon and you will find him most helpful, good luck with the op mate.
Cheers
Colin

astraboy

Everybody,
Many, many thanks for the suggestions. Its truly warming to see how many people took the trouble to reply. I know I am prolly worrying over nothing, but my last recovery time was 6 weeks long and it was truly hell on earth. I'm taking solice in the fact that it will prolly be not as bad, but I'm still finding it hard to calm down. I took today off work cos I couldnt sleep again last night. However, I slept pretty much for most of the day and am feeling a lot better.
I will go back to work tomorrow and will try to get somw of the Kalms stuff cos its more of a mental thing that is stopping me sleep than anything else.
Once again, thanks everyone for taking the trouble to reply.
Cheers,
astraboy.

Rebecca

Talk to the consultant who's doing your op and get them to go through every step of the operation from start to finish, tell them your fears so that they can be aware of it as well, but hopefully by going through it the op won't seem quite so bad.

If you want to be worried I seem to remember that after you've had a hernia you can't drive for a while ... now that is something to get worried about

Hope all goes well ...

Bex

astraboy

Yeah, if getting cut open aint bad enough the limitations are:
No work for two weeks,
no driving for two weeks,
no sex for three weeks, (not that thats much of a problem these days )
and no alcohol for 24 hours!!!! ARRRRGH!!!
Dont know how I'm gonna cope with the last one
astraboy.

Jolly Green Monster 2

I went to post when you first put this thread up but I couldn't add anymore than what had been said already.

But last night I was thinking of you when in the bath (no funny comments please!) as I found it very relaxing.. everyone else was out and I had the house to myself, watched some telly, had a bath and I was nice and relaxed... then I had a phonecall.. nothing major but all that hard work out the window and I was as stressed as hell.

Perhaps a weekend away might help? take a drive to a hotel and spend the weekend there.. maybe a little expensive but might work.

Try thinking of now, and live your life day by day.. and think of what you know rather than fear...

Good luck

JGM

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

I can vouch for Kalms, worked/works for me.

Recovery in hospital is a battle against bordem, get loads of reading material, especially about stuff you've always been interested in but never had the time/couldn't be arsed to look into - time really flys when you're absorbing info. Personally I wouldn't want to associate my fave tunes with hospital recovery so I wouldn't take them, but each to their own . On the last day of my 5 day stint in hospital I found out you can hire a TV on wheels to your bedside if you're bedridden. It might help but daytime telly has a knack of stopping time...

I hope everything goes well, hope you get some decent kip before you go in - Kalms should do the trick.

Justin

Ps No sex for 3 weeks? what, even with yourself?

astraboy

I've got a bottle of Kalms today and will try it next time I need to drop off.
I'm not taking tunes with me cos I wont be able to keep calm and stationary with 160bpm hardcore rinsin out. But I will be taking a flyer of Future Dance 8 with me so I've got somthing to get out for
Once again, cheers for the info
astraboy
edited to say, no, not even with yourself

[Edited by astraboy - 3/22/2002 1:45:49 PM]

Reffro

Its against the advice on the bottle, but I used take close to max daily dose in one go. (Six, I think, usually about 30 mins before I wanted to go to sleep)

I won't say you should do that too, that's your decision, but it flushes my mind of everything, and eventually I get bored of trying to hold a thought, turn over and go to sleep.

The best thing is they are non-addictive and they gave me the most marvellous nights sleep when I needed it. Good luck with them, and your operation.