Monday joke.
08 February 2010, 07:51 PM
#1
Monday joke.
Junior school kid goes to school one day, and is delighted to see they have a new, pretty young teacher, on whom he develops an instant crush.
Her name, she announces to the class, is Miss Franny.
Of course, lads being lads, crushes being crushes, and Freud being............well, Freud, our hero addresses her not once, but THREE times during the day as Miss Fanny.
He is mortified, and more so when she asks him to stay back and tells him to be more careful with her name since it's embarrassing her, him and the rest of the class. "Remember," she says, "It's Franny with an R."
Our hero runs all the way home, repeating, "Franny with an R, Franny with an R.". All during tea, while watching the TV and doing his homework, he keeps telling himself, "Franny with an R, Franny with an R."
He puts himself to sleep that night, murmuring, "Franny with an R, Franny with an R."
All the way to school the next day, he chants to himself, "Franny with an R, Franny with an R."
Finally, arriving at school, he rushes into the classrom, and exitedly shouts out,................"Good morning Miss Crunt."
Her name, she announces to the class, is Miss Franny.
Of course, lads being lads, crushes being crushes, and Freud being............well, Freud, our hero addresses her not once, but THREE times during the day as Miss Fanny.
He is mortified, and more so when she asks him to stay back and tells him to be more careful with her name since it's embarrassing her, him and the rest of the class. "Remember," she says, "It's Franny with an R."
Our hero runs all the way home, repeating, "Franny with an R, Franny with an R.". All during tea, while watching the TV and doing his homework, he keeps telling himself, "Franny with an R, Franny with an R."
He puts himself to sleep that night, murmuring, "Franny with an R, Franny with an R."
All the way to school the next day, he chants to himself, "Franny with an R, Franny with an R."
Finally, arriving at school, he rushes into the classrom, and exitedly shouts out,................"Good morning Miss Crunt."
08 February 2010, 08:37 PM
#6
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Get him orrrrf ffs
An England footballer is stopped by the police for doing 130mph on the motorway.
"Are you late for a match or something?" inquires the copper.
"Nah, I was in training and someone told me John Terry's car was parked outside my house"
An England footballer is stopped by the police for doing 130mph on the motorway.
"Are you late for a match or something?" inquires the copper.
"Nah, I was in training and someone told me John Terry's car was parked outside my house"
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08 February 2010, 09:19 PM
#8
Bloke goes to the circus, where he sits in the front row.
After a while, the clown comes on, and approaches the man.
"Good evening, sir, " says the clown, "Are you the front end of an ***?"
"No," replies the bloke.
"So are you the back end of an ***?" asks the clown.
And again, the man replies, "No."
"Then, sir, you must be no end of an ***!" Says the clown.
At which the rest of the audience falls about laughing.
The man is not happy, but gets over it.
Next year, the circus comes again, and again, the man sits on the front row. He is amazed to see the same clown. The clown approaches him, and asks, " Good evening Sir, are you the front end of an ***?"
"No," replies the bloke.
"So are you the back end of an ***," continues the clown,
And again, the man, now mortified, responds, "No."
"Then sir, you must be no end of an ***!" says the clown and again the audience roar with laughter.
The bloke is furious, and vows that no-one will ever make a fool of him again. He gets home and immediately enrols in evening classes for wit, repartee, conversation, humour and quick responses. He spends 5 nights a week studying, and next year, when the circus once again comes to town, he is ready.
He buys his ticket and sits in the same seat, and, sure enough, it's the same clown.
And sure enough, the clown spots him and over he comes.
"Good evening Sir, " says he, "Are you the front end of an ***?"
"No, I'm not," says the man.
"Oh?" Says the clown, "Then are you the back end of an ***?"
And again, the man responds, "No, I'm not."
"Then sir," says the clown, "You must be no end of an ***."
And the man looks the clown in the eye and says, distinctly,
"Fukc off you red-nosed ****!"
After a while, the clown comes on, and approaches the man.
"Good evening, sir, " says the clown, "Are you the front end of an ***?"
"No," replies the bloke.
"So are you the back end of an ***?" asks the clown.
And again, the man replies, "No."
"Then, sir, you must be no end of an ***!" Says the clown.
At which the rest of the audience falls about laughing.
The man is not happy, but gets over it.
Next year, the circus comes again, and again, the man sits on the front row. He is amazed to see the same clown. The clown approaches him, and asks, " Good evening Sir, are you the front end of an ***?"
"No," replies the bloke.
"So are you the back end of an ***," continues the clown,
And again, the man, now mortified, responds, "No."
"Then sir, you must be no end of an ***!" says the clown and again the audience roar with laughter.
The bloke is furious, and vows that no-one will ever make a fool of him again. He gets home and immediately enrols in evening classes for wit, repartee, conversation, humour and quick responses. He spends 5 nights a week studying, and next year, when the circus once again comes to town, he is ready.
He buys his ticket and sits in the same seat, and, sure enough, it's the same clown.
And sure enough, the clown spots him and over he comes.
"Good evening Sir, " says he, "Are you the front end of an ***?"
"No, I'm not," says the man.
"Oh?" Says the clown, "Then are you the back end of an ***?"
And again, the man responds, "No, I'm not."
"Then sir," says the clown, "You must be no end of an ***."
And the man looks the clown in the eye and says, distinctly,
"Fukc off you red-nosed ****!"
09 February 2010, 04:15 PM
#19
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