Friday joke thread
12 February 2010, 03:03 PM
#1
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Friday joke thread
Mental patient is in hospital when a nurse catches him with his ***** inbetween 2 biscuits! "What are you doing?" She asks. " I'm f**king crackers" he replied!
An old one I know, maybe this is better?
A man and his wife are on holiday in Jamaica and walk past a man selling magic sex sandals. The Jamaican said "dese magic sandels make ya a sex god mon!" The wife is intrigued and convinces her husband to try some on, as soon as he puts them on he instantly grabs the Jamaican, bends him over and sticks his c*ck up his ****. The Jamaican screams "no mon! ya got em on da wrong feet!"
An old one I know, maybe this is better?
A man and his wife are on holiday in Jamaica and walk past a man selling magic sex sandals. The Jamaican said "dese magic sandels make ya a sex god mon!" The wife is intrigued and convinces her husband to try some on, as soon as he puts them on he instantly grabs the Jamaican, bends him over and sticks his c*ck up his ****. The Jamaican screams "no mon! ya got em on da wrong feet!"
12 February 2010, 03:45 PM
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Two police women are out on foot patrol with their alsatian dog.
One says " I'm getting a bit cold and I've left my thermal knickers back at the station."
The other one says " Use the dog, give him a sniff of your fanny and he'll fetch them for you".
So she lets the dog have a sniff and he runs off back to the station.
Two hrs later he returns with a truncheon, a plastic baton, a baseball bat and 3 of the Sergeants fingers.
One says " I'm getting a bit cold and I've left my thermal knickers back at the station."
The other one says " Use the dog, give him a sniff of your fanny and he'll fetch them for you".
So she lets the dog have a sniff and he runs off back to the station.
Two hrs later he returns with a truncheon, a plastic baton, a baseball bat and 3 of the Sergeants fingers.
12 February 2010, 07:08 PM
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Hi ,i,m carlos tevez and this is my new lean mean grilling machine.its that good,i,ve put my face on it.
5000 men were asked why they like blowj**s.
1% liked warmth
2% liked sensation
3%liked eroticism
94%just liked the peace and quiet
5000 men were asked why they like blowj**s.
1% liked warmth
2% liked sensation
3%liked eroticism
94%just liked the peace and quiet
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13 February 2010, 02:16 PM
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Man was in bed with his new Thai wife.
She's been lying there just stroking his c*ck for 15 mins, when he says "You must really like my c*ck"
"No" she says "I just miss mine"
She's been lying there just stroking his c*ck for 15 mins, when he says "You must really like my c*ck"
"No" she says "I just miss mine"
13 February 2010, 02:25 PM
#10
A woman wakes up after having a vaginal tuck procedure to find 3 bunches of flowers on the window sill of her hospital ward.
One bunch from her surgeon to say "all went well ".
Second bunch from her husband "get well soon, i love you".
Third bunch from Tommy in the Burns Unit " thanks for my new ears "
Mick
One bunch from her surgeon to say "all went well ".
Second bunch from her husband "get well soon, i love you".
Third bunch from Tommy in the Burns Unit " thanks for my new ears "
Mick
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