corradoboy

We have shared access with three neighbours behind our property, and all has been well for the 6 years we've been there, but in the last couple of months one of them has started getting troublesome.

Last year she acquired permission from a land owner to use some land opposite to keep some chickens as a hobby. However, being the type she is she didn't just put up a few posts with some wire and a few coops. She had builders come in and recreate the Ponderosa at a cost of some £16k Three months later, someone objected on the grounds she didn't have 'agricultural' permission. Somehow we were implicated as the objectors, which we deny completely as it simply wasn't us. The whole thing had to be dismantled and cleared.

A short time later my missus had call to ask her to calm things down after she went on a prolonged foul-mouthed tirade berating her partner in full earshot of our then 2yo son, and the rest of Leeds the level she was hollering. Her reaction was very aggressive, effectively telling us if we don't want to hear it we should go in and close our windows. This made relations icy for a few months until we eventually held out the olive branch to ease the situation.

Rolling the clock forward to about two months ago, she suddenly informed me that builders would be commencing work on the shared access, AND my garden to make thing nicer for her planned garden renovations She seemed a little put out when I informed her that no-one would be doing anything on my land without my say so About 70% of the shared access is actually MY property, with them having the right to pass through. She has lived there about 20 years, longer than anyone else, and when some older people lived there they effectively let her have free reign to do as she pleased as it saved them work, expense and hassle. However, she doesn't seem to have realised that time and people have moved on, and she has no rights on my land !

I went ahead and did my own thing refurbishing my garden how I wanted, much to her obvious irritation whereby she continuously raised objection and levelled criticism, all of which we ignored. It all came to a head when I dug out an overgrown planting bed full of weeds and bedraggled old plants that had seen better days, so I could lay a bed of gravel with some bulbs to grow through and liven it up in springtime. In doing this I had to remove some old ivy and when she saw this she went ballistic. She launched a tirade of abuse at my missus, again in front of our son whom became very upset. This culminated in her raising a hand to strike my then 7 month pregnant partner. I grabbed har arm before she could, and when we enquired if she really would hit a pregnant woman she replied 'YES, I f***ing would'. At this I firmly escorted her off our premises and we went in to calm our son and consider possible police action. In the end we decided to try and let it settle down so we could just get on living in relative peace.

Another week or two later we went away for a few days, and upon return discovered several items stolen from our garden (watering cans, walling stone and a few other bits) and someone had been tampering with our new gates, removing several screws and damaging a lock. We knew full well it was her, but had no proof, so let this slide too.

So, up to last week. For the last two weeks I have returned home on bin day to find our wheelie bin relocated just inside the drive, which is very dark and narrow, and you need to be able to turn in off the road unhindered to get in safely. Both times I have had to stop with the rear of my car jutting out and with my now 3yo son in the back I bided my time and confronted her partner, knowing he was the reasonable one and hoping he might convince her to stop this puerile behaviour. However, she heard us talking and stormed in. Foul language and very personal abuse ensued, all from her, and it culminated in her physically attacking me, punching me in the face and then launching a second attack where I turned my back and told her to do her best. She is about 5', 65yo and not a well woman, where I am 6'2", 17st and quite capable of looking after myself. I knew full well if I retaliated in any way I would be in trouble, so just let her vent her anger.

When her partner pulled her away I announced that I would be going inside now to make a phone call. The Plod arrived in under 20 mins and we told them the whole story, how we have not done anything to antagonise her, but she seems to have been building this hatred of us for some time. They went to interview her and she initially denied the assault, but her partner whom is a local councillor probably didn't want to get involved with lying to the police, so he apparently admitted to her behaviour. At this she crumbled and admitted to it, whereby we were presented with two options. I could press assault charges and she would be arrested and more than likely be in the cells overnight as they knew they were already busy back at base. Alternatively I could agree to her being given a formal written caution which will appear on her criminal record should she repeat such behaviour, but would allow the situation to hopefully calm down. I didn't really want to be responsible for a 65yo unwell woman spending the night in jail, so I opted for the lesser option.

So, on to today, where she has now decided that she isn't going to park her car in the unused car park opposite us (where she had her chickens), but instead on the road, right outside my house. Of course, she is fully entitled to do so, as long as it is fully legal for use on the road, but obviously she is adamant that she is going to keep antagonising us with her petty actions. Tomorrow we have a local officer coming around to make a record of the full story, and I will be asking him to ticket her car whilst here as she is still illegally parked, being half on the kerb

Sorry to bore you all, but I don't think this will be the end of this saga. She obviously now has very deep seated problems with us and she isn't the sort to accept that maybe she is in the wrong, should apologise and simply let it lie. The officer who issued the caution to her expressed to us that he detected disturbing patterns in her behaviour, indicative of early mental illness so I guess we'll have to prepare for more hassle

Myles

iTrader: (40)

Seventeen, sixty-five or anything in between, it doesnt matter. That is shocking behaviour and you have been admirably restrained in your reactions. Unfortunately I think she is just going to carry on being a social nuisance so be preparecd to set up a webcam and get a diary ready to detail all the wrongdoing.

Jamz3k

See once your wife is unpreggers, get her to kick her **** in.

corradoboy

I've seen my missus lose it, and it wouldn't end well

corradoboy

Already underway

addi monster

iTrader: (6)

WOW, not good, you say you have a planted some bulbs in the gravel, i suggest you plant her with them,lol

EddScott

Wow, and I thought I'd had a issues with the neighbours!

Personally I think you should have gone to the police at the first outset - and then every time she swears at you or approaches you, you call the police. They will get fed up with you and thus fed up with this old dear. A night in the cells may not improve her attitude but it might make her think twice next time.

As for the access- I think you need to be careful because if you give someone access over your land for so many years it becomes harder for you to stop them.

It must be quite tedious for you. Have had issue ourselves with a neighbour but not quite to that extent.

corradoboy

I was hoping that we might be able to get an ASBO banning her from our land, but the Plods said it would need sustained offences to justify, and that ASBO's will be finishing soon anyway. What I don't want to do is get drawn into some petty war with damaged cars and other stupidity, but she looks like she's going unilaterally down that route anyway

I think our next step will be to see if the local paper wants to run it as a story focussing more on the councillor, as he is implicated in all this

slipstream_uk

iTrader: (1)

Time to have cctv put up to capture all this.

addi monster

iTrader: (6)

matey matey, it will only go down this route with her damaging your cars ect as she knows you will not react to her, she knows she can do what she wants to you,. if it was me i would explode at her on day showing i dont give a damn about her and scare her with my rage, but do not harm her , make her think you will harm har but dont! then she may fear you and stop bullying you, sounds harsh but you need this to stop now as it will only get worse and worse,. good luck

Glowplug

iTrader: (8)

Thats sh1te mate. And all you need rattling around inside your head all day.

I highly commend you on your self control.

Doesn't sound like you will have to put up with it for very much longer, once mental dissorders get ahold progress can be fairly rapid. Spending 16k on a chicken coup ffs, that ain't the actions of a sane person.

As above, install some recordable CCTV and log every event. Good luck. I'm sure sanity will eventually prevail.

Lee247

Bloody hell, is she married to the ar$e behind us, who turned a quaint old barn into a travel lodge monstrosity
Our private drive circles the whole length of his property and it pi$$es him off so much, he is constantly thinking of ways to aggravate the life out of us.
The fact we ignore him spoils his life
He tells everyone that he owns all 4 properties down here and that includes our driveway.
Reality is, he has access to the field via our drive and that is all.
The bloke is a loser. Hence thinking he must be related to your neighbour
Good luck with it all. Why oh why do some folks feel the need to spoil other peoples lives

tarmac terror

iTrader: (2)

I would be inclined to try and keep her husband as an ally, he sounds reasonable and must be aware her behavior is inappropriate. If she really pisses you off that much, keep him on side and antagonize the old dear at every opportunity, he will get fed up having to patch it up, and may expedite her route the secure unit where she belongs.

corradoboy

I have been working on that exact strategy. I am going to invite him around for a friendly chat to see if he can make a difference, and drop in that if he isn't compliant that the local paper might want to run the headline 'Councillors wife attacks pregnant woman' He allegedly received £40k in expenses last year, so he might be keen to protect that

oldsplice

I wonder if maybe she has the beginnings of Alzheimer's/dementia. My mum started screaming abuse at her neighbours and threatening them with the police, and they'd been good friend for 15 years!

PaulC72

shocking behaviour really I hope it all calms down for you, you missus wont need the stress in her condition.

davyboy

I always got the impression you didn't like your wife? Yet you go and get her up the duff in a moment of madness!

Jamz3k

the newspapers may want to see this £16k chicken coupe the taxpayer stumped up for.

corradoboy

There are traits in my wifes character that I would love to change, but the fact I still love her, and want what's best for my family means I have to compromise on my happiness for now.

Dedrater

I would be thinking the above.

Personally, I would do as you said and make bridges with the fella, be a good human being.

If you take any form of drastic action, you may feel really bad if she is taken into care etc

I wouldn't drag the bloke into this either, poor ****er has to live with her and may already know their is a problem, he may have been married to her 20,30+ years but doesn't want to lose her, love will do funny things to a sane man.

Glowplug

iTrader: (8)

Yet more very good advice.

Carkillerz

iTrader: (1)

I have a 7.5 ton recovery truck which looks like death but is 100% legal and live just outside leeds could come park it outside there house for a while (week or 2) see how they like that?? ud just have to keep an eye on it lol.

Stopped my nieghbours complainig about things lol

davyboy

She wanted a baby and wanted sex......you thought she wanted you.

............women are evil.

Myles

iTrader: (40)

+1

corradoboy

I may just take you up on that, or maybe you could just lightly clip her Mini as you pass one day. The size and weight of your truck I doubt you'd notice you'd done it

dpb

Cant really make out what your complaint is , apart from the physical violence obviously !
Very difficult if she really is losing it. If this were the case there would be times when she was lucid and you could sit down all together and establish the facts .

corradoboy

Nah, I wanted a sibling for my beautiful little boy, and I would rather he grew up in a complete family. We will either settle our differences, or later in life pursue our own paths to a happier life. We don't fight or argue all the time, but there is a problem. She could sort it, or I'll have to, but later when my boy(s) are older.

paulwrxboro

Should of had the old **** locked up

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Wait til she goes for a Poo, grab it from the drain cover and write obscenities on your own windows using it as a big brown crayon, ok very disgusting but she is going on a trip to a secure unit when the Police check the DNA

Dedrater

I know you are proper pissed off, but I would wager the chap would. sort any damage she might do.

Maybe an option, just let her run wild on your property, aslong as she does no damage, she has chickens so in her state is caring.

We are all going to a nut ball stage in our life.